[018] Carefully Through Deepness to Rise
Title: Carefully Through Deepness to Rise
Group: Arashi
Pairing/Genre: Ohmiya; MAXIMUM ANGST
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~500
Summary: Nino desperately wishes he could be what Ohno needs.
Notes: Remix of nicefinalbeam's let 'em down easy if you care for jentfic_remix (those sneaky mods talked me into doing a second one....>.>). Much love to lyricalidol for putting up with my flailing and being my beta~. <3
•••••
Nino was notorious for his way with words, but for once, he'd been rendered nearly silent.
"If I were...." he whispered, unable to choke out the rest of the sentence.
If it had been anyone else, anyone on this planet, he could laugh it off and move on and just pretend it hadn't happened.
But it wasn't.
It was his best friend, his other half. The one person he thought things would always be this way with. The one person he knew he could depend on.
Ohno, his Ohno, was unfailing in his loyalty, steadfast in everything he did. Ohno, with his beautiful hands that could create art from thin air. Ohno, with a voice that soared above the clouds and made knees tremble and hearts quake. Ohno loved him and Nino so desperately wished he could love him back.
The truth was that Nino did love Ohno. He loved those hands and that voice and the way Ohno's nose scrunched up when he laughed and the little chuffing sounds he made as he went through the motions of his days and how crispy brown he got under the hot summer sun and his odd way with people and a hundred million other things, but...
But Nino didn't love Ohno like Ohno needed him to. Like Ohno wanted him to.
If he did, he would love Ohno forever. Would love him like the sun loves the moon and the stars love the planets. Would love him more than the flowers love the rain. He would fall all over himself to take care of Ohno, make sure he was eating, make sure he was sleeping enough, and not painting all night instead. Nino would make sure Ohno knew every moment of every single day that he was loved, wholly and completely. He would worship Ohno's body - all broad chest and short limbs and long fingers - every curve and dip and ripple of muscle would serve as Nino's altar.
If he did, if he loved Ohno, he would never leave him. Never ever make him feel pain or uncertainty. Nino could be coy and teasing with other people, but with Ohno he would always be straightforward, unwavering in his devotion.
If he loved Ohno like a lover and not a brother, life would be perfect forever and always.
But he didn't. He didn't love Ohno that way and it broke Nino's heart to admit it even to himself. The crushing pain in Ohno's eyes was almost enough to make Nino regret it, make him take it all back and pull the other man close and tell him it was all a joke, another Ni no Arashi and he didn't mean it. But lying to himself, and Ohno, would only make it worse.
Nino was nothing if not a practical man.
He was also a coward. So he ran. Nino turned tail and ran away from the one person he knew he could call at 3 a.m. just because. He ran from the warmest smile he'd ever known. It was like running from the sun straight to the dark side of the moon.
Group: Arashi
Pairing/Genre: Ohmiya; MAXIMUM ANGST
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~500
Summary: Nino desperately wishes he could be what Ohno needs.
Notes: Remix of nicefinalbeam's let 'em down easy if you care for jentfic_remix (those sneaky mods talked me into doing a second one....>.>). Much love to lyricalidol for putting up with my flailing and being my beta~. <3
•••••
Nino was notorious for his way with words, but for once, he'd been rendered nearly silent.
"If I were...." he whispered, unable to choke out the rest of the sentence.
If it had been anyone else, anyone on this planet, he could laugh it off and move on and just pretend it hadn't happened.
But it wasn't.
It was his best friend, his other half. The one person he thought things would always be this way with. The one person he knew he could depend on.
Ohno, his Ohno, was unfailing in his loyalty, steadfast in everything he did. Ohno, with his beautiful hands that could create art from thin air. Ohno, with a voice that soared above the clouds and made knees tremble and hearts quake. Ohno loved him and Nino so desperately wished he could love him back.
The truth was that Nino did love Ohno. He loved those hands and that voice and the way Ohno's nose scrunched up when he laughed and the little chuffing sounds he made as he went through the motions of his days and how crispy brown he got under the hot summer sun and his odd way with people and a hundred million other things, but...
But Nino didn't love Ohno like Ohno needed him to. Like Ohno wanted him to.
If he did, he would love Ohno forever. Would love him like the sun loves the moon and the stars love the planets. Would love him more than the flowers love the rain. He would fall all over himself to take care of Ohno, make sure he was eating, make sure he was sleeping enough, and not painting all night instead. Nino would make sure Ohno knew every moment of every single day that he was loved, wholly and completely. He would worship Ohno's body - all broad chest and short limbs and long fingers - every curve and dip and ripple of muscle would serve as Nino's altar.
If he did, if he loved Ohno, he would never leave him. Never ever make him feel pain or uncertainty. Nino could be coy and teasing with other people, but with Ohno he would always be straightforward, unwavering in his devotion.
If he loved Ohno like a lover and not a brother, life would be perfect forever and always.
But he didn't. He didn't love Ohno that way and it broke Nino's heart to admit it even to himself. The crushing pain in Ohno's eyes was almost enough to make Nino regret it, make him take it all back and pull the other man close and tell him it was all a joke, another Ni no Arashi and he didn't mean it. But lying to himself, and Ohno, would only make it worse.
Nino was nothing if not a practical man.
He was also a coward. So he ran. Nino turned tail and ran away from the one person he knew he could call at 3 a.m. just because. He ran from the warmest smile he'd ever known. It was like running from the sun straight to the dark side of the moon.