I need to figure out how to be alone and happy.

It's been a year since the gun incident that ended it. I think I am ok.

I got sick. Mark the date. Gosh, I should have called in. My face. Even my lip is swollen. First sick with all this metal and other girlie stuff too. If I was smarter I would have stayed in bed.

I have had a few guys harass me with unwanted pictures. Most of them stop when you are direct. A couple didn't. I have had guys show me conversations and ( Read more... )

Why must Angel be there?  She is gross.

Thank you for showing me who my boyfriend is. You are very disrespectful.

Do I want to stick around and see who he is? Snoop through his phone again in another three months? Feel like a horrible monster for doing it and or feel stupid and dead inside when I remember this will never be want I want. I yelled at him. My hands and stomach did that thing ( Read more... )

I am still a bit mad at you. Sometimes it's hurt and let down but typically it's pissed off.

Just for the record I did shut the bedroom door and I did put the crate up. He told his mom he is seeing me. Maybe a whose taking you to the airport question. Maybe I am just eating myself. Sundays panic attack brought me back. I started using the light this morning.

Communication is tricky.

I don't remember putting the crate up so I am freaking out a little now. Need a book for the bus. I only had two panic attacks this Halloween. Hell at this point I hope I shut the bedroom door. I miss Jay so much still and then David does something close to his actions and fixes it. I am very happy he came over Sunday. I remember Jay going quiet ( Read more... )

Once a week for how ever many months feels like a lot. It makes my stomach hurt and my chest ache. I was stupid.

Today is one of those perfect mornings. The rain kept waking me up with its amazingness last night. I wish I could stay home and do yardwork. The sky is pretty. I still think of him first. That Tori Amos song. Little things make me feel too much. I don't feel right. I need to walk and walk. I need more time. A touch of the manic creeping up in you ( Read more... )