Sex sex sex...

[twisted_times]

The number of posts I see on the sextips LJ Community that go, I'm [having difficulty cumming/not getting laid enough/don't feel sexy enough/can't please my partner/think I'm weird/have difficulty talking about sex with my partner/insert other random issue/select as applicable] yadda yadda yadda...

So, as a service to my friends the world, I'm copying

Comments

[adamantine_lady]

beautifully said! I agree 100% :)

[twisted_times]

Thank you. While orgasms are fun, they're just the very tasty cherry on the top of an already very yummy layer cake of love, kisses, foreplay and other fun sexy stuff... ;)

[darkfloweruk]

Seconded! Sometimes it can feel like a competition (make someone come as quickly and as many times as possible). The "Playing together" part is highly underrated by so many people, but it's fun fun fun!

[twisted_times]

Oh, playing together is definitely fun fun fun! ;)

[jenny_gould]

Especially as (if you are me) I am far more likely to orgasm doing stuff that according to the book won't have any effect.

I wonder how many other women have orgasms in the aftereffects of knowing someone "just did that" to me, or that I reached enough relaxation and ability to regain my breathe or whatever it is that often triggers me *after*. Or during moments relaxed in the bath, or ummmm well yeah. Other stuff that works for me. Pretty well *not* during actual sex. Or indeed the direct clitorus action that modern men know is meant to make a woman orgasm. Well maybe a little, but its a pretty weak and ineffectual event, in comparism with other moments that I know about, and maybe noone else is the wiser for.

[twisted_times]

Well, not two people are the same and no two people's sexual responses are the same! This particularly true for women more than men, as a lot of guys have 99% of their sexuality centred on the last inch on their penis. Even at different times with the same partner on the same day the same things might not work both times. Good loving sex has as much to do with good communication (verbal and non-verbal) as it does technique. ;)

[amynthe]

Well said! Here here. It frustrates me to no end that people think of orgasm as the "goal" in sex. If I don't cum it doesn't mean the lovemaking wasn't glorious. Thank you for putting that little seed of knowledge into some of these young minds. :D

[twisted_times]

"If I don't cum it doesn't mean the lovemaking wasn't glorious."

You planning on having that as your Epitaph? ;p

[amynthe]

Ha! I love it. I'll make a note in my will... :P

[twisted_times]

*grynz*

You could always shorten it to "The lovemaking was glorious." ;)

[sci]

But I like bestowing them.. ;_;

[twisted_times]

Me too. ;p