when it all falls down

[twistedan9el]

so its 12:30 and im acting like i use to when i was depressed. i just hung up the phone and stared at my ceiling and starting thinking about god. wow me and god. weird. i hate the fact that i cant believe in anything anymore; in the future, in myself, in other people. because when i do try to believe in those three things i just feel more empty or

Comments

[anonymous]

lauren you're absolutely amazing and you have possibly the biggest
heart in the world. some day you're going to find someone that wont
hurt you and things will be different and in the end i will always
be here. i love you so much. you're one of the only friends that
has ever stood by me through everything. i love you cupcake
you're my little sprinkle! i'll call you tomorrow and if i dont
talk to you rock the sats for me

Harvey

[anonymous]

you are running yourself into a complete mental breakdown, you need to step back, take a breath, and get yourself some help.

[anonymous]

hey asshole ever here of bad days.. she had one you're the one that needs the help. grow balls and give your name next time.. loser

i love you lauren

<3Jim

[anonymous]

the names paul, I was just making a comment dont get all pissed...and how about a name for you, singling me out???
geesh grow up and chill bro

[twistedan9el]

hmmm do i know a paul? well okay that doesnt matter really..
last night was just a really bad night for me. you ever get
the feeling that everything is really great then everything
just falls on you at the wrong times. well i was just so
stressed with school and sats that things that were happening
just made me crazy. and although im considering seeing a therapist
again i dont think its cool for you to judge me when i dont think
i even know you which means you dont know me.

so i'll be the one to decide if im having a meltdown. thank you come again

[cute_w1th0ut_e]

Oh, stop arguing you two. It won't accomplish anything and it'll just take up space in the journal.
Hey dahling, I know exactly how you feel right now, seeing as my situation is similar to yours. But, you mentioned that in here. Hmm. Anyways, I do the same thing as you- look at other people in other places and see how they have it worse, and it makes me feel less bad for myself. But, honestly, sometimes you just need to sit down and cry...even if it is just for yourself. There's nothing wrong with wallowing in self-pity, as long as it doesn't become constant. If you never felt bad for yourself, then you wouldn't be able to cry it out and get over it and move on to bigger and better things. A good cry can put everything into perspective. It's good to care about everyone else in the world, but you need to take care of YOU just as much. I hope you feel better, and you know I'm always here and you know my cell, so call anytime day or night. I love you! <333
<3Justine

[sugnuf]

Hey Lauren, strangely enough, I guess I can say I understand what your going through. I suffer from depression, mostly SAD (seasonal affective disorder) so it's sort of on and off.. it sucks, it really does. I don't know about you, but when I get all depressed and stuff I start feeling as though I will never feel happy again.. and I mean, at that moment, I actually believe myself. But then later on, whether it be a week or a month, somewhere inbetween those dark depressing moments, I feel good. Those good moments feel better than any happy moment a constant happy person can get. It's sort of a ...break from being sad? I dunno.. I am rambeling, and I am sorry if this comment makes you feel worse, because those aren't my intentions at all. Anyway, try not to think too much about things, I know it is hard, but when I feel yucky (which is the whole winter) I just try avoiding being completely isolated, because if I have someone to talk to, it will keep my mind busy and away from my depressing thoughts. :)

[anonymous]

with the time you spent writing that you could have said like 10 hail mary's for people "worse off" than you. think about the 20 minutes of your life you probably spent writing that, times it by the million other entries you've written that are just like it, and you'll probably have an entire 24 hours of wasted time. the day you've spent writing how sorry for yourself you are could have been a day that changed your life for the better. and don't give me that "i feel even worse for everyone else who is worse off" horseshit because if you did, you could have spent that 24 hours helping them. what have you ever done besides donate money on your way out from Rent? join the peace core. volunteer at a soupkitchen. this isn't entirely meant to bash you, but seriously.. rethink every entry you're about to post and ask yourself, "what else could i be doing with my life right now?"

hypocrit!!!!

[twistedan9el]

who the hell are you to say that i dont spend my time doing things for others? yah okay truth is you probably dont even know me. and if you do you dont know me well. and just to let you know. your hypocrit is showing, you should fix that. because the five-ten minutes it took you to write that comment plus the five it took you to read it and think about what you're going to say to just start shit you coulda been off your fat arss and on a tred mill. if you dont want to hear (or in this case) read what i say, then i suggest you leave your off-base comments somewhere else. go tell your problems to jenny craig or Dr. Phil whatever you need the most. i'll leave that up to you. i use to have depression moron, i had a lot of shit wrong with me growing up, and the fact of the matter is that if i want to put into perspective my problems with other peoples it helps. you know why i do it. because my therapist told me to. and i didnt donate money at rent it was at chicago. so you're wrong there too. and even though i do, do more then that (which

Re: hypocrit!!!!

[anonymous]

hahahaha lauren just bitch slapt you biatch. get your facts straight before you get up in her business.

Harv

[cute_w1th0ut_e]

Think about the time you just wasted writing that comment. Seriously, that whole, what? 5 minutes? could have gone toward something useful, as well.

Try not to be so hypocritical.

Oh, and writing is a form of release, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting and writing a journal entry- online or in private. It's perfectly healthy, and what she is doing is not wrong at all. So don't bash Lauren for trying to get her thoughts in order and help herself feel better.

One more thing. You tell her to ask herself what else she could be doing with her life right now. Well, why don't you take the time and think that about yourself. If you don't like what she has to write, then why read her journal at all? What else could you be doing with your life right now?