ring. i slowly fumble for the phone. ring ring. i find it and it's illuminating a puddle of spilled liquor. ring ring. i finally answer. "hello?" escapes my cracked and parched lips. every person i know tells me to use chapstick before i go to bed. "you weren't asleep. talk to me." he says. "it's five-thirty in the morning, what could i possibly ( Read more... )

New York City was a blur. between the binges of alcohol, and walking through clouds of pot smoke so thick, you can't see the grin on your best friends face. the daunting rails of pharmaceuticals, crushed and dragged across a whiteboard with a community college library card emblazoned with the ever-so-prevalent moniker: "don't do drugs ( Read more... )

i met up with him in honesdale, outside a walmart. he says, "hey asshole, get up and give me a hug." so, being the completely hopeless romantic i am, i comply. it's one of the best hugs i've ever gotten, despite the circumstances. he lets go, and my heart drops a few feet to the shoes hitting pavement. we reach our destination a few minutes later, ( Read more... )

"i'll be home in a few hours," he says with an air of sadness, "i need to run a few errands." as he hangs up the phone, he looks around at his desk. his computer, a few pictures of his family. some folders and a stapler. harry was simply another statistic. a man caught in the daily grind, and it was ripping him apart ( Read more... )

I remember reading once, that most young adults who've done every gateway drug would eventually try cocaine. i laughed it off, and said i'd never do anything that involved snorting or needles. as i got older, i'd snorted just about every major pill you can snort. most of them at a certain restaurant i worked at in twothousandfive. as of late, i've ( Read more... )

is this what we wanted? we're back at the beginning.
is this what we wanted? we're back to where we started.
This island has become an ocean and my boat's too small. The waves are crashing in and i can't save this sinking ship.

and i know i'm going to be going back to being brokenhearted.

It was one of those nights, where you find yourself breathing heavily into the carpet the castle walls formed by fallen cans and bottles securing your high and might attitude of "yes, i'm fine. Leave me the fuck along." Dragging yourself to your feet seems like so much effort, here, and, if you do manage, you can't manage. You can't meet anyone's ( Read more... )

It was one of those nights where you're already too stoned to be out in public. You watch the flaming ashes fly off your cigarette into eighty-mile-an-hour-out-the-window-winds. You laugh (even though there is nothing to be laughing about), this makes you laugh harder ( Read more... )

Words fall out in hurried piles. They don't have coherency these days. My body aches and creaks with every painful movement. I'm sure it's just a physical reaction to mental pain ( Read more... )

i am dracula, whitewashed fingers slammed in a casket lid. i am the antithesis of sunlight. i am...dead. to the world, anyway. i have sucked myself dry, wanting more from life. i am finally done. i am finally empty. there is nothing left of me but a simple flimsy husk of what once was ( Read more... )