brighter than the sun(1)
brighter than the sun--
an ode to scott mccall
sweet werewolf prince
everybody loves him
Part I: Allison, Greenberg, Lydia, Boyd
heartbeats
scott/allison
Allison loves the sound of his heartbeat, loves laying her head upon Scott's chest, loves letting the sound place her in the world, keep her achored, keep her calm, help her make sense of everything with its beat--without words, without conflict, without pain.
It's calming.
She needs the calm after the storm--this, her family, the werewolves, everything is the opposite of calm, but she doesn't blame Scott, not really. This was her life anyway, but at least when he's in her life, there are these moments.
These moments when everything is okay.
She falls asleep listening to his breathing, because this is a happy place--here, in his arms, her head on his chest, his hand on her heart.
~~
She can always hear when something disturbs him--she can feel it reverberate throughout it, can sense the change in his heart's rhythym, and it disturbs her too.
Sometimes she wakes up to see him drenched with sweat, breathing heavily, still asleep, but trapped by nightmares.
These are the moments when she lifts her hand to run it through his hair, and kisses his forehead softly, and murmurs in his ear that everything is going to be okay.
It's a lie, and she knows it. But it's hope, so she believes it.
~~
There are times when she feels like she's ready to break--when she thinks about her mother, or her grandfather, or her family legacy, and she simply aches inside.
Those are the times when she seeks out herself--she practices, practices, practices until she won't make mistakes, until she isn't weak, until she is strong.
She practices until she forgets herself, and then she goes to Scott, crawling through his window quietly, laying right next to him on top of the blankets.
He always pulls her towards him--sometimes with their faces mere inches from each other, sometimes so that he's spooning her, sometimes just so that her head is on his chest, and she's in his arms.
These are the moments when they both remember what it's like just to be Scott and Allison--individual entities, yes, but stronger together, better together. Safe, together.
These are the moments she lets herself love him most--when it's safest, and somehow scariest.
They reaffirm their love between heartbeats.
ethereal
scott/greenberg
greenberg fc: harry shum jr tbh.
Scott gets the feeling sometimes that people don't really see Greenberg--like he's only ever there when Coach is mocking him or belittling him, or blaming him for something that has nothing to do with him.
Scott doesn't pay too much attention though, because Greenberg takes everything with a smile. He just shrugs and carries on with his day.
He's probably one of the nicest guys that Scott has ever met, and sometimes it surprises him that Greenberg doesn't really seem to have many friends.
Sometimes, Scott wishes he could see Greenberg a bit more clearly, like somehow the boy would be capable of bringing some clarity to Scott's life, which is ridiculous, really, because why would he?
Greenberg has never been anything but kind, of course, but Scott has difficulty focusing in on him as a person.
Sometimes it's like he's not even there.
Scott can feel him sometimes, when he's in the room. But he can't smell him, or sense him the way he can most other people.
Greenberg never plays lacrosse--he warms the bench instead. Greenberg does all the reading, but no one ever calls on him to answer questions. Greenberg is kind, but he doesn't have friends. Greenberg is funny, but no one ever laughs at his jokes.
It's . . . odd.
~~
There comes a day when Scott becomes Greenberg's friend.
It starts with random little conversations about everything and anything--sometimes Scott talks about how much he misses Allison, and later how much he doesn't. Greenberg occasionally talks about his adoptive parents, who found him as a baby, and occasionally come up with complicated plans to murder Coach Finstock.
It's all rather strange and comforting, and it's nice.
~~
One day, Scott reaches out for Greenberg's hand, and Greenberg pulls away.
There's a look on Greenberg's face that aches in such a way that it almost destroys Scott, and he's not sure why, but he doesn't try to touch Greenberg agan.
There's a part of him that aches for that too.
~~
One day, Scott can't find Greenberg.
No one has any idea where he is, and it's freaking Scott out, and Stiles keeps telling him that's it's okay, they'll find him, okay?
But it feels like Scott, and by association Stiles, is the only one looking for him.
~~
Scott worries.
He worries until he can't breathe, until he almost has a panic attack, until all his friends are ready to rip their hair out, until his mother just holds him as he shakes.
He worries until he's sitting in the woods somewhere, watching a stream of water, well, stream along.
"Hi," Greenberg says suddenly.
Scott jumps, but just a little. He hadn't even felt his presence, or heard him coming, and he's a fucking werewolf, what's the point if he can't do that?
"Hey," Scott says softly, relaxing again.
Greenberg sighs. "Look at me."
Scott hesitates, but then acquieses.
Greenberg holds out his hand, lifting it up almost as if he wants a high five.
Scott moves to press his hand against Greenberg's.
Greenberg blanches, but stays still, waiting for Scott to press their hands together.
"Oh," Scott murmurs softly when he presses against it and it's--well, it's there, but it's not solid, it's . . . it's like spirit.
"Yeah. Are you freaked out?"
Scott smiles slightly. "I'm a werewolf, dude." He leans forward to press his lips softly to Greenberg's--it's sort of fizzy, like mild electric shock. But it's a nice feeling.
"Cool," Greenberg smiles when Scott pulls away, and he pulls him back in for another.
inevitable
scott/lydia
Scott can see the way that Lydia looks at him. It's--it's interesting.
It's powerful.
It's seductive.
It's probably wrong, but he doesn't know how to process that.
When she shows up at his house one day, with a smile so bright it nearly blinds him, and asks if she can come in, he says yes because he can't say no(he really doesn't want to anyway).
~~
She pushes him down against his head, and he thinks it's a good thing his mother won't be home till tomorrow morning anyway.
She straddles his hips with her legs, and he stops thinking at all.
She leans down, pressing her lips to his, and he loses track of himself.
Her lips are soft and pliant against his, and her hands are clinging to his hair, and she lifts her head from his only for a moment, just to wink at him and smirk before lifting herself off of him and walking away with nothing more than a "See you tomorrow, wolfboy," and a wink.
~~
He likes Lydia--he knows that Stiles has rambled about her for years, and he's weirdly surprised by how much knowledge he's picked up.
In the end, however, he has to discover her for himself.
He discovers that there's occasionally the slightest flicker when someone touches a delicate spot in her armor of style and beauty and words. It's slight, just in her eyes, and sometimes he can hear her heartbeat shift slightly, beating irregularly until her smile because almost impercetibly bigger and brighter, and she rips the offender to shreds.
She is--she is an alpha without a pack.
Lydia is like a bright beacon of light and power and she practically oozes some sort of drug. She's much like the kanima in human form--it's like she secretes some sort of venom that just allows her to stun you just long enough for her to get what she wants, and then she simply moves on.
Scott's never really been big on taking advantage of people. Sometimes he has to nudge her, reminding her that this isn't everything--and other times he gets nudged back, and she makes him breathe.
~~
He likes when her brightly painted nails bite into his skin, scraping along, leaving marks, sometimes trailing blood.
He doesn't feel like he's doing battle with her, he feels like she's raising him from the dead.
When he's around her, he feels like they're holding each other in place--he reminds her to dream, and she reminds him to want.
~~
Allison gives them her blessing early on. "Scott and I are never getting back together," she says. "Lydia is my best friend. I'd want you guys to find happiness."
It breaks her to say the words, but she knows how it feels to fall in love with Lydia's smile, how it feels to fall in love with everything that Scott is, because it feels like everything you never knew you even needed.
She finds comfort in watching Lydia try to seduce Scott, and Scott try to love Lydia, because that just says so much about them, doesn't it?
She thinks they might need each other.
She's right, of course, though she doesn't want to be.
~~
Scott likes to hold Lydia, and it's so nice.
Jackson would hold her, but it was never easy, it was always a fight, and she was always sure he'd pull away because vulnerability wasn't really his thing.
Scott just smiles, and loves, and holds and cherishes.
He makes her laugh and smile, and he holds her hand, and he pretends not to notice when she cries during The Notebook.
They are power--fire and earth, strong and steady. They are water and air--deep and true, free and lighthearted.
At some point, she falls in love, because they are inevitable.
anchor
scott/boyd
"I think I made a mistake," Boyd says softly.
Scott turns to him on the bench they're sitting on before practice starts. "What's going on?"
"Things happened so fast," Boyd says softly. "I wanted this."
Scott quickly looks around, just to make sure no one's listening. Everyone is a little distracted by the fact that Stiles is trying to get Danny to make out with him. Scott rolls his eyes and turns back to Boyd. "Dude, it happens. We--we make mistakes, okay? I mean, I didn't want this, but if I'd actually been able to say no to Stiles, none of this would have happened to me. It's just--it's just life."
Scott is really good at this, Boyd notes. He's good at listening, and saying the right thing, and doing the right thing, especially when it's hard.
It doesn't seem easy, of course, but it comes to him with more ease than it does to Derek, who is . . . not very good at any of this. He lacks compassion and understanding, and uses brute strength to control, rather than inspiring loyalty through respect and trust and belief.
Boyd does not which he thinks is better per say(he does, of course, but his own loyalty must not be divided), but he thinks that, just maybe, Scott is right. This is all just life. You can fight it, and sometimes succeed, but other times you must simply float along with the river.
Boyd thinks this might be a river moment.
He looks around the cafeteria, then closes his eyes, listening to the bustling noises, and it almost gives him a headache until he filters them out one by one, and listens to Scott telling him to breathe, and then that's all he can hear, and he breathes deeply, and he's sure he's made the right choice.
Regrets are best for choices one might correct--and this is not one of those choices.
He inhales again, deeply.
He listens to Scott's heartbeat.
It's much more calming than Derek's, he thinks.
This, he thinks, is his regret.
He opens his eyes, and centers on Scott staring intently at him.
This, he thinks, he can change.