(no subject)
College. I can’t believe I’m actually, really going to attend again. Never did manage to get that degree what with the whole…murder thing and going to England and getting my addiction under control.
And loosing Tara.
Yeah. Still not over that. Don’t think I’ll ever get over that. Sure I tried. I’m pretty sure Tara would’ve wanted me to move on. And I did for a while, with Kennedy. But she and I were just not meant to be. She kept thinking she needed to compete with Tara and because of that I kept comparing her to Tara. That would never work, cause she wasn’t., y’know? And she never would be.
So Kenn left, going off to do her Slayer thing, now that she was a full fledged Slayer and all that. Yeah, you’re welcome. Not that I was bitter or anything. Nope, not me. Bright faced, bushy tailed always cheerful Willow doesn’t do bitter.
I still miss her though. Lots. Not even my false cheer at times could totally wipe that away. Not sure if anyone knows. Okay yeah, I’m sure they know. I mean, she was the love of my life? How can they not know. But she’s dead, gone and I need to move on.
She was with me, every time I closed my eyes, she was with me. And that I needed to hold onto, that’s what kept me sane and ready to move on. It was also the reason I had no trouble going to bed early, cause in my dreams, I’d meet her again.
“So, I was thinking. It’s such a nice warm day and all that. Do-do you wanna go on a picnic with me? I know this great spot on the beach, no one ever comes there, least not that I know of…uh…We could have lunch there?” I smiled at Tara, rubbing hands together behind my back to make them less sweaty. Gah, you'd think I'd be less with the nerves by now. Geeze.
[Open to taramber]