The Phenomenon of a Heart that Loves
Fandom: The Eagle
Genre: Modern AU, romance
Pairing: Marcus/ Esca
Rating: R
WARNINGS: attempted rape
Summary: Esca finds himself in trouble and Marcus saves the day. Then porny romance stuff happens.
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Half the time, Esca is absolutely certain that Marcus wants him, but the rest of the time, Esca thinks he must be crazy; because no matter how many signals he sends out, the big stupid (gorgeous) lug never does anything about it; Marcus must be straight. Or asexual. Or a robot.
They’ve been roommates for two years, have become friends... Esca’s hesitant to say best friends just because he has this rule about being best friends with people he wants to suck off. He has heard that Marcus also goes for guys, but he’s only heard it. He’s never seen it. He’s never even seen him with a girl. Marcus, weirdly, just doesn’t seem to need to have sex or talk about having sex as much as most guys. At first, Esca thinks maybe Marcus got his junk blown off in the desert when he nearly lost that leg but Marcus laughs at him and says no, his junk still operates.
Still, though, if he uses it, he goes under a rock or something.
Sometimes, Esca just wants to jump him, grind on him until he finds out once and for all what it’s like to be thoroughly fucked by Marcus Aquila. As they’re hanging out, just the two of them, and Marcus is smiling and they’re both laughing and at complete ease, Esca fights away fantasies about straddling him and shoving his tongue down his throat.
They hang out on the couch and watch TV almost every night so that wouldn’t be too hard to do; it’s not even like it’s something Esca doesn’t occasionally do to other guys even though he generally prefers never initiating sex. But in his burning desire for Marcus, Esca finds himself planning on taking some initiative.
Except that Marcus is so… Marcus. He’s big and strong and quiet and sweet. Esca wants him to make the moves. In the absolute best of Esca’s fantasies, Marcus is the one pressing him down into the couch or the bed or the floor or the grass and having his way. Marcus is the one who leads, who commands, who takes--the one who makes something happen because he just can’t stand how much he wants Esca anymore.
Esca wants it like that. He needs it like that. It is how he’s always enjoyed sex. He wants Marcus, but he doesn’t want to take control over Marcus; the bigger stronger guy should be taking control over him, should be pushing him into walls, bending him over tables, picking him up. Marcus should be grabbing him by the arms, manhandling him, catching him off guard and kissing him senseless.
But Marcus does none of that. He laughs and smiles and shares his fortune cookies when they have take-out, their fingers grazing as he hands them over being the extent of their physical contact.
So, yeah, half the time Esca thinks he has gone and attached himself to a straight guy.
Except.
Except sometimes Marcus blushes when he runs into Esca fresh out of the shower and just in a towel, and those green eyes linger too long on Esca’s small lean frame. Sometimes Marcus speaks softly and his eyes are filled with some unnamable thing, something ardent and tender. Sometimes Marcus glowers at Esca’s latest fuck buddy as if he would like nothing more than to snap his neck.
In these moments, Esca’s sure that Marcus thinks about him more than any straight guy would. In these moments, he would put every penny he has on that Marcus wants him with a white hot fire that he keeps in check.
Attempting to move these fantasies into reality, Esca does nothing to conceal his feelings; he smiles, he winks, he softens his voice in return, and he says kind, subtly inviting things… He eventually even stops having fuck buddies.
Yet Marcus does nothing.
“Make him jealous!” Cottia cries. Having given up fuck buddies, Esca hasn’t had sex in weeks and weeks and is at that desperate point where this very stupid idea sounds like a very good idea.
So he brings back the fuck buddies. But one further, he is sure to always have them fuck him in the apartment. He tries to make it happen when Marcus is home or is about to be, and if he can’t manage that, then he is sure that his date leaves some kind of evidence behind, be it clothes in the couch cushions, cigarette buds in bowls on random tables, bite marks, or filthy-as-fuck messages on the answering machine.
In conversation, if ever they are on the topic of his many escapades, Marcus forces his smiles, glowers a lot, is quieter than usual, but still he does nothing.
For Esca it is beyond a simple preference to be dominated. It’s the principle of the thing. If Marcus wants something, he should go after it. So Esca stubbornly refrains from doing anything more than flirting while Marcus, the big stupid (gorgeous) lug keeps smiling and laughing and not picking up a hint, forcing doubt into Esca’ head until he thinks all those tender looks are imagined.
Then one day Esca makes a booty call to Lee, and Number One on his fuck buddy list shows up with a lecherous smile and greets him with, “Okay, sexy, we’re going to do this fast and dirty, because I’ve got shit to do that doesn’t include you.”
And all at once Esca just feels tired.
He lets Lee in anyway, because he came all this way at Esca’s request and Esca doesn’t want to be rude; they might still have a good time.
But from the moment Lee grabs him, kisses him, and overpowers him just the way he likes, leading him back to his bedroom, Esca isn’t in the moment. His mind chooses now to play compare and contrast, Marcus vs. Lee.
Marcus wouldn’t want it fast and dirty.
Marcus wouldn’t stop kissing him once he’s naked, as if kissing doesn’t matter beyond this point.
Marcus wouldn’t try--for the hundredth time--to get away with not using a condom.
Lee scoffs, shakes his head as he rolls on the protection after Esca says wear it or forget about fucking me tonight. “You’re such a prude.”
“Shut the fuck up, Lee,” Esca seethes through his teeth. For a second Esca thinks he’ll put an end to this anyway, but then Lee is sliding slick fingers in and they’ve made it this far, might as well go all the way.
Lee works him open, slick and sliding and deliberately avoiding his prostrate because Lee never gives pleasure if he’s not getting it, too.
Esca lies there, looking up at the ceiling as Lee works. He’s trying but he just can’t get into it, because he’s thinking about Marcus and how they went out to eat yesterday night, walking there with their hands in their pockets and their hoods up against the autumn chill, laughing and almost flirting.
He thinks about how Marcus gave him his breadsticks and took his tomatoes and carrots, the trade happening without a word between them about it.
He thinks about how Marcus had planned to stay in that night and watch the premier of a new show, but when Esca had said he wanted to try the new restaurant out, Marcus had set the DVR and gone with him, instead of saying Go by yourself because I have shit to do that doesn’t include you.
Esca knocks Lee’s hand away and sits up, “You know what--forget it. I’m tired. Just go.”
Lee frowns, huffs, waits for the punch line. Esca just stares back at him and Lee’s mouth drops open, “You’re serious?”
Esca is very serious; in fact, his heart is pounding and he just wants to be alone because he has realized something that is quite phenomenal; he wants a relationship.
Here he is, getting finger fucked and all he is thinking about is having a nice dinner with someone, talking, sharing, understanding, and laughing. He is not thinking about Marcus naked, or Marcus touching himself or Marcus touching him as Esca would usually do during his fuck buddy encounters. He is just thinking about Marcus and how nice he is, how sexy is, how fair and loyal and thoughtful he is; how much fun they can have just sitting there talking.
Esca does not just want Marcus’s body. He wants Marcus.
“Go,” he says to Lee again, this time reaching for his shorts to put them back on.
“What’s your problem?”
“I’m sorry for calling you over, leading you on. I’m just feeling weird… What can I say? I’m not in the mood.”
“This is bullshit.”
“I’m sorry,” Esca says again. “It’s a shitty thing to do. But I’m going through some stuff. I thought I wanted to have sex, but I think what I want is--“
Lee kisses him, pushing him back down. He pulls Esca’s shorts away and breaks the kiss to say, “You just need to be thoroughly fucked. Trust me; it’ll make you feel better.”
Esca laughs, sighs miserably, “Actually, no. In this case I don’t think so.”
“Why?”
“I just…” Esca has no idea how to say it so he doesn’t. Lee is stroking slick fingers down Esca’s crevice, teasing his hole. He rolls his eyes, “Come on, Lee, I’m not up for it. Seriously. Go and do whatever it was you were going to do tonight. Maybe we’ll do this some other time.” He only adds that last bit to cushion it all.
Lee grins, “Oh, you can’t just leave me like this.” He ruts his hard cock against Esca.
Esca reaches for it, “Then I’ll get you off--“
“No,” Lee knocks his hand away and his kiss to Esca’s neck is more teeth than not, “I want to fuck you.”
“Well,” Esca laughs and it’s a nervous sound because he suddenly doesn’t like the position he’s in, “I don’t want you to fuck me.”
Lee’s hand goes to the back of Esca’s head and his fingers curl into his hair, holding tight right as he pushes his slick fingers back into Esca. His grin is the same one it has always been but it suddenly strikes Esca as an evil smirk, “Don’t tease me, you little slut.”
It’s nothing he hasn’t called Esca before, nothing Esca hasn’t occasionally liked being called. But it doesn’t land right this time. Lee’s fingers are working slow and gentle, slick and smooth, but they do not bother Esca so much as the others do, the ones that seem to be trying to rip the hair from his head. He reaches up to pull Lee’s hand from his hair at the same time he reaches down to knock that hand away, too, “Stop it, Lee.”
Lee only laughs, “I see what you’re doing, you saucy little thing.” Another toothy kiss and one of his aroused growls, “Trust me, it’s working.”
“What am I doing?” Esca spits because Lee only tightens his hold in his hair. Esca’s heartbeat is really racing now, his mind projecting forward to all kind of unpleasant things, things that will happen if he can’t get control of this situation.
“You’re playing hard to get.”
“I’m not playing.”
He laughs like he’s on a roller coaster, shifts so that most of his body weight is pressing into Esca and he rubs himself against Esca some more, “Oh, this is going to be good.”
“Lee--“Esca’s attempt to get free is more pronounced than before, a frantic edge to it as he slips backwards a little into the gnawing fear. “Lee, let me go. I’m not playing. I don’t want you to fuck me. I want you to leave.”
Suddenly, the hand in Esca’s hair is over his mouth, hard enough for his fingertips to leave bruises. Lee’s eyes are glittering, “Why should I leave now? It just got good.”
Esca tenses in horror and before he can even think about trying to fight back--or even about just going with it (because he is already slicked and open so if he does not fight back it wouldn’t be painful and it would no doubt be over quickly)--he hears the door of the apartment open, whistling and keys jangling.
Marcus is home.
Esca’s heart and stomach leap and he calls, “Marcus!” but Lee’s hand over his mouth only warps and muffles the sound. Lee looks over his shoulder at the sounds of the roommate coming home and when Esca speaks against his hand, he grins and the hand remains over his mouth, hard and painful.
Now Esca thinks he’s going to panic and this is going to get very ugly because Marcus is home, and he can’t Just Go With It if Marcus is here. In a flare of white hot resolve, Esca knows he will fight back. He struggles against the hold, whole body straining. He throws out an arm, sweeps things from his bedside table.
The clamor of lamp and books and alarm clock clattering to the floor is loud and the whistling stops, but a long minute stretches on and then the TV comes on, volume slightly louder than usual.
With dawning dread, Esca realizes that Marcus will have no reason to think this isn’t like any of the other vicious fucks that Esca has so carefully made sure that Marcus would overhear in the past.
Jesus Christ, Esca thinks and he isn’t swearing. Maybe for the first time in his life he is legitimately praying. There is nothing else on the table to knock over, so he grabs the side of it and hauls it over, forwards so that the drawer would tip out and the resulting clatter, crash and thud is enough for Lee to grab that hand to pin it, thus freeing his mouth.
He yells, “Marcus!” before the hand is back. Two hands now, one over his throat, not choking but holding firmly. “Behave,” Lee hisses lasciviously.
Esca squirms and tries to throw the guy off, his attempts making the whole bed warp and slide an inch here and there on the hardwood.
“Esca?” It’s Marcus’s unsure voice outside the door. Esca struggles harder and yells against the hand over his mouth. The door opens--Esca’s heart leaps--Marcus is in the room, taking in the sight of the junk on the floor, him naked and pinned beneath Lee, Lee’s hand over his mouth, one on his throat.
“What the fuck?” Lee demands, “Can’t you see we’re fucking--get out!”
Marcus’s mouth is dropped open, eyes searching; he takes a half step back--he doesn’t know if what he is looking at is okay or not. But then he looks into Esca’s eyes. Esca looks back, pleading, and he sees Marcus’s face harden. His fists tighten and he charges into the room.
Lee lets Esca go to defend himself seconds before Marcus barrels into him bodily and they fly right over the bed and into the floor, sliding and crashing in a tangle against the wall under the window. “What’s your problem?” Lee asks as he scrapples with muscles far too big for him to hope defeating, “This isn’t your business!”
“You fucking prick!” Esca snarls down at the tangle of limbs in his bedroom floor. “I wasn’t playing a game, you mother fucking pig!”
Lee manages to break away from Marcus, scramble and get to his feet out of reach. Marcus is up and after him, “Your dead!” he barks, face dark, voice hard, and he corners Lee, slams a fist into that panicked face. Lee goes down backwards, hard into the bookcase. Esca is up off the bed, grabbing all of his clothes and throwing them at him. “Get out!”
Shaking, Esca has put himself between Marcus and Lee, lets Lee get to his feet and into his pants with blood from his nose running down over his mouth and throat.
“If I ever see you again--“Marcus is saying, from over Esca’s shoulder, pushing into Esca like he wants to get at Lee, “I will kill you.”
Lee believes it and so does Esca, who digs his feet in and his shoulder back into Marcus’s chest to hold him off. Marcus is, of course, mostly holding himself off. The bloodied man takes the second chance he’s been too kindly given and flees. Marcus is close on his heels all the way to the front door. Esca is following, moving on automatic pilot, needing to see Lee gone.
Marcus shoves Lee out the door with more threats, slams it behind him.
Esca sways a little, slumps on the door. Marcus suddenly has him by the upper arms, holding him up. “Are you okay?” And then he’s crushed into a hug against Marcus’s long, hard torso.
Esca nods, a strong heart pounding under his ear. What a lovely, perfect sound… so solid and real. They stand there for a moment, Marcus’s arms around Esca, Esca’s hands at his sides, his ear to Marcus’s chest.
Esca is the only one who’s naked in the living room, but he doesn’t notice, because he can’t quite believe it; he is wholly unharmed. He’d been so sure for a minute there that he would be… that Lee was going to…
“Did he hurt you?” Marcus asks, pulling away, a gentle hand on the side of Esca’s face, tilting it back to have a look. Green eyes are filled with that unnamable something, and he’s still panting from the adrenaline of the fight.
“Jesus--we need to call the cops.”
Esca shakes his head frantically; he doesn’t want to do that. He doesn’t want this to go on. He just wants it to be over, in the past, never spoken of again.
“I’m calling them,” Marcus says, ignoring Esca’s head shake. He makes to let Esca go, to turn for the phone but Esca grabs hold of him, putting his arms around him and holding, “No.”
“Esca--“
“No,” Esca says, craning his neck back to meet Marcus’s eye. He’s aware only then that he’s naked and standing against Marcus. His mind wheels around with no direction and he can’t put it together how he could end up like this. What a way for a day to go.
Marcus looks down at him for a moment, and then all of a sudden, he’s kissing Esca, pressing him against the door, consuming Esca’s mouth. He tastes like a churro. His two handed hold on Esca’s jaw has no real force in it, only enough to hold him steady. Before Esca can overcome his shock and enjoy it, it’s over and Marcus has their foreheads together asking,
“Esca, are you sure you’re okay?”
All kinds of stuff goes on in those green eyes, but all Esca knows how to read is the kindness, the friendship, the concern, the want. Marcus’s fingers are trailing super gently down Esca’s cheeks and jaw in the most tender touch Esca thinks he’s ever, ever felt. Completely out of nowhere, Esca’s eyes start to sting and he starts to feel shaky.
What is this? He’s fine. He blinks, tries to stem the hot salt water blurring his vision. He’s aware he’s naked again, naked and between the sturdy cold wall and the sturdy warm Marcus. The wall is a wall, but Marcus has softness with his firmness, a heartbeat Esca can feel under a palm. He’s surrounded, he’s okay.
He takes a deep, (shaky--WTF?) breath and nods against Marcus’s forehead. To his surprise, Marcus’ soft green eyes look wetter than usual, too. Esca looks down at collar bones stark under olive skin and just tries to figure out what the fuck.
Marcus leans in, gently, slowly, like one might approach a horse’s mouth with treats, and pecks their mouths together, murmurs against him,
“Esca,” and when Esca pecks back, delighted by those pouty lips, Marcus makes a strange noise, stands closer, hands gripping his hips, “Oh, Esca, can I--”
“Yes, Marcus, yes,” Esca pleads, resuming the kiss and going to his toes to wrap his arms around Marcus’s neck.
The shudder that goes through Marcus then is better than Esca could ever have dreamed and Marcus takes his mouth again, stepping them both back from the door, wrapping big thick arms around Esca’s naked body, holding him close as he kisses him and kisses him and kisses him.
The moans from Marcus go straight into Esca and vice versa. Esca’s legs wrap around narrow hips. He feels Marcus’s arousal through the denim of his jeans as Marcus walks, with poor navigation due to the incessant kissing, to his room.
On the bed, Marcus smacks his lips away. He’s glorious, his head ringed by the light on his bedroom ceiling, wide shoulder slanted as he props on one elbow. His hand slides down Esca’s chest, rests on his bellybutton.
The adrenaline is still coursing through him; Esca can feel it as a light tremor in the hand, in the whole of the long body beside him. Marcus’s eyes are ardent again, pupils wide, swollen with desire. He whispers through his harsh breaths,. “You can take me tonight if you need to, Esca.”
Esca’s body shivers and he chokes, but he shakes his head, kisses Marcus, panting, “You, you, like this. I want you like this.”
“But--“
“Marcus, like this,” Esca commands, thrusting up to rub his arse against the bulge in Marcus’s jeans, and Marcus groans in want, then chuckles in ecstasy, the sound washing over Esca and rejuvenating him.
Something bad happened tonight, you say? Really? What was it, again? Esca couldn’t have answered if asked; it was quite gone from him. All that remained was how much his body ached for the one crawling over him. His close call didn’t matter because Marcus was here, up on his knees, tugging his t-shirt off over his head, undoing his jeans, pushing them down, kicking out of them, all the while with an excited, half-shy, half-lustrous smile and a proud erection.
Esca grips Marcus’s hot length, and delights in its girth, its texture, all the wide veins, the foreskin. Marcus gasps, drops his forehead down to Esca’s shoulder, “Yeah, yeah,” he urges. Esca grins, gives a few tugs to smear the pre come around and Marcus’s sounds are velvet and delicious and revitalizing. Esca’s never felt so alive.
The skin of Marcus’s shoulder under his nose smells amazing, tinged with salt and fresh clean soap and some kind of natural Marcus musk. Esca nuzzles it as he pumps his fist and sweeps his thumb. Marcus nibbles on his ear and mews and calls him baby and Esca wants him with a throbbing in his whole body that almost makes him feel sick.
“Marcus, Marcus,” he gasps, spreading his legs and bucking up imploringly. He releases Marcus’s cock, captures one of those big hands and pushes it down, pressing fingers into his already slickened passage, “Do it, do it, please, oh, Marcus, I want you.”
Marcus lifts his head, meets Esca’s eye for a brief glimpse of that illuminated smile, and then he’s kissing him fiercely, presses him into the bed, tongue plunging in and Esca melts under the force of his passion, goes completely pliant and willing and needy.
Esca involuntarily says yes into Marcus’s mouth as Marcus pushes in his fingers, one at a time, delicately and very deliberately nudging his sweet-spot with each addition. Esca is already worked open enough that Marcus could have skipped right to putting his cock in, but he uses his fingers for now, because Marcus uses his digits in pleasure not just preparation.
Esca is shaking, reveling in the feeling of Marcus’s fingers in him to their knuckles, his mouth covering his, and his body pressed in him, overpowering him. But, oh, so gently, too. This is Marcus. This is how Esca knew it would be. Marcus is the nicest, sweetest, most inwardly beautiful person Esca’s ever known. Esca wants that beauty, that heart, he wants it with a feral appetite. He wants Marcus.
His Marcus.
Without a word from Esca on the subject, Marcus digs in his drawer and comes up with a condom, rolls it on quickly. Resumes his kisses until Esca reels back, legs opening, knees coming up to his chest, hands going above his head to grip the iron bars of Marcus’s bedpost, as Marcus pushes the blunt head of his cock in, and Esca cries out, one long drawn out yes, back arched, throat bare, eyes closed in bliss. The stretch is phenomenal, the fullness bordering on too much but it’s Marcus and Esca already knows he won’t ever have too much of Marcus.
“Esca,” Marcus huffs when he’s to the hilt, “Esca, nnnhhh, look at me.”
He doesn’t think he can. All at once, Esca is shy and scared shitless. If he looks--if he looks he’ll… that stinging behind his eyes will win if Marcus has that tender look in his eyes.
“Esca, oh, baby, I need to see you,” Marcus lowers down to nuzzle Esca’s throat. Esca realizes Marcus isn’t going to move until he opens his eyes. So he does.
Oh, shit.
The whole world folds down and curls in tight until it’s nothing but to two green orbs of ardent attention, attention aimed directly into Esca’s soul. Esca looks away quickly, licking his lips, “Marcus, please,” he chokes and he hates that his lip wobbles.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, how could this happen? Esca never believed in this… but something has turned him into some kind of… believer.
“Okay,” Marcus whispers, and Esca can hear the yield in his tone. Okay, you don’t have to face this, baby, not yet if you’re not ready. Maybe I’m not ready, either. And he starts to move.
The pleasure is building up and Esca’s head is filled with what has to be the strangest highlight reel he’s ever used. There are the usual things: Marcus’ firm perfect ass, his big long-fingered hands, his pouty lips, his bumpy abs, his deep voice. But also there are things that are a little less tangible, mere ideas of Marcus.
Marcus is nice to practically everybody all the time--except for when Esca is in danger, apparently. Marcus is thoughtful, Hoovering when it’s his turn and sometimes when it isn’t but Esca has had a shit day in the studio with the bun heads and isn’t up for anything but his dinner and a raunchy film to cackle over. Marcus is kinda funny in this off to the side, not-trying-to-be-the-life-of-the-party kind of way.
These things aren’t hot but they’re doing something to Esca now, in what has to be the hottest moment of his life; they’re building something in on top of the quivering physical pleasures of Marcus’s big thick cock filling him up, stretching him and sliding inside him, hitting that good spot. It’s this odd rush under his skin, on his skin, in his bones.
Marcus hasn’t touched Esca’s cock even once. It’s dark, throbbing and wet, upright in its nest of dark blond curls and bobbing with Marcus’s rhythm, tapping Marcus’s abdomen and then Esca’s, Marcus’s then Esca’s. And the fullness, the pace, the pressure, the kisses, the caresses, the sounds, all make Esca’s balls draw up too soon and he knows he’ll come without being touched. He knows Marcus will undo him from the inside out, that it’ll be a most exquisite death, and that Marcus will own him completely.
So Esca releases everything inside, holds nothing back, and lets Marcus have it all.
They lay still for several long minutes, taking their time drifting down from their blissful flight from reality. They regain their breaths, heartbeats stabilizing and then Marcus is kissing him again, nothing like before. Before the kisses were raw, exhaustive, and almost bestial in their passions, but these kisses are lazy, lingering, and undemanding. They aren’t meant to take away breath and senses. They’re just… pleasant divulgences, coasting to a stop after so much speeding.
Esca’s lips are swollen and sensitive and Marcus’s are too, so eventually the kissing comes to a natural end and they lay on their sides, nose-to-nose, with their eyes closed. Marcus suddenly grips the back of his head and draws him near, foreheads together.
“I can’t believe I almost ignored you,” his voice sounds raspier than usual, and the hand holding his head starts combing fingers through Esca’s hair. “When I heard--I thought…” he kisses him quickly, “I thought--so I was going to go back out for a walk or something. You could have been--“
“Don’t say it,” Esca cuts in, voice hard with the demand, the first full voiced words spoken since their shared climax and the screaming therein.
“I don’t even want to think it!” Marcus cries, matching volume with his eyes wide. He goes to his elbow, “Esca, I’ve never been so angry in my life! The thought of anyone hurting you… I wanted to kill him. I truly did.”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” Esca replies softly, reaching up and tenderly touching Marcus’s heart. “Because then we’d be having a body to deal with right now and he’s not worth that much effort.”
Marcus chuckles and dips back down to take a string of little kisses before settling back on his pillow, one arm curled under his head, and the other combing fingertips through the hair over Esca’s ear. The words are out of Esca’s mouth before he can stop them, “Why now?”
Marcus rolls away a little, frowns.
“Why now, Marcus?” Esca repeats and suddenly he needs to know; for the first time in his life, the idea of being used is revolting. But what if that’s all this was? What if Marcus just had warrior post-battle rush adrenaline to work off? He thinks if that’s the case he’s going to hit something. Possibly Marcus’s stupid pretty face. “Is it because you’re trying to make me feel better after what happened?”
“No!” Marcus cries, sitting up, eyes going wide, “I’ve wanted you--“ the words are breathy, tripping out of him, “for so long.” He drops and kisses him. Damn it all, Esca can’t break the kiss. He just can’t, this mouth tastes so good, feels so good, reminds him of nothing but good things.
“You were always saying relationships are a fucked up way to spend your time and Lee and those other guys… I’ve wanted you but not like that. I don’t want you to be anyone else’s but mine, Esca.”
He hears it in Marcus’s voice, the uncertainty that saying all of this will cause offense. As if Esca isn’t aware he whores around, has never been faithful to just one person and will be pissed that Marcus dares to imply as much.
Astonishingly, the thought of being unfaithful to Marcus hurts. Hurts worse than whatever Lee was about to do. Esca has no idea when he stopped feeling like he is the only person in the world he needs to keep happy, but now here he is concerned with the happiness of himself plus one whole other guy and with every intention of keeping the two responsibilities interwoven no matter what it takes.
“Okay,” Esca reassures, marveling at how easily he can bring himself to say it. He smiles, “You, just you. I promise.” He sits up, hooks an arm around Marcus’s thick neck and hangs there as he gives his own string of kisses, “I promise, Marcus.”
“Good,” comes out of Marcus very quietly, happily. Strong hands hold his ribs and lower him back down to the bed. Marcus stretches out beside him, space between them. They rest in silence, looking contentedly at each other before Esca sighs and cuddles in close, his forehead on Marcus’s chest as they lie on their sides. Marcus’s arm goes over him and Esca falls asleep knowing Marcus loves him, too.
END
Based on this prompt: http://the-eagle-kink.livejournal.com/2834.html?thread=4211474#t4211474