Ok so I am a bit nervous about tomorrow. Hearing the word "mass" when we are talking about my breasts is not fun. The thing is, I knew there was a lump there, and so obviously it is a "mass". And I KNOW that it is nothing. At the worst it is a cyst. But still, it is not comforting to be 24 and going in for an ultrasound and a possible mammogram of ( Read more... )

I just had a tift with my sis. We were discussing the upcoming wedding ceremony and I commented that she would want an outfit to change into at the reception. My sister is about as far from girly-girl as you can get and the idea of her wearing a 10 lb wedding dress all day is ridiculous. She started to complain about all the details involved in ( Read more... )

I was reading a friend's journal last night and once again he was aggravated by his ex. He has been having problems with his ex-girlfriend for some time now. I was finally motivated to read some of her entries and was blown away at how much she mirrored my past self. I think maybe my demons do not chose to only fight with me. I don't know if she is ( Read more... )

Have you ever received a phone call that provided you with news that shattered your world? 4 years ago I watched my father take the phone call that let us know that Tim had killed himself. My world was shattered in an instant. Then I listened to him cry and I thought my heart would burst from the pain I felt. Tonight I watched him take the 2nd ( Read more... )

its back. that feeling. that out of control panicked feeling. i am trying so hard just to breathe. i feel like my skin is crawling. i don't know if i should scream or cry or run till i collapse. it is getting harder and harder to communicate with others. no one understands. they don't see the panic. they don't feel the energy that is radiating out ( Read more... )

The school year is finally winding down. Kind of. I feel like I am busier than ever. Perhaps that is because I am now doing the job of two teachers. I am glad Amy had her baby but it is really stressful having a sub in the other 4th grade class. I am having to play disciplinarian for both rooms and get everything organized and ready for next year. ( Read more... )

So I was just flipping through the Boston link for interests and I happened upon a Live Journal page for EMMANUEL COLLEGE!!! That school has changed soooo much in the last few years...There even seem to be some "cool" things going on there. I read this one entry inviting people to an "8th grade dance" where they were gonna play all the music from ( Read more... )

So I was out with Sarah tonight and we spent a good deal of time bitching about Felix and Mike and how they both need to grow up. WE also saw Mean Girls. Very funny movie. It has the stupid feel good movie ending but it was an enjoyable movie nonetheless. I realized somewhere through the night that my problems with Mike stem from fear. I fear that ( Read more... )

Mike and I are in a rough patch. He is not dealing well with his life and I am not dealing well with mine. Combine that with the fact that we live hours apart from eachother it really is no huge surprise that we are having a rough time. His life in New York is ending...and he can't handle that. He is losing the life he has come to know and love for ( Read more... )

small...not too deep...so empowering and yet shaming...you ask why....what can i say? That I lost the battle? That it felt soo right and good for the moment? Could you understand if I explained to you? The daily battle is enough. I don't need someone making me feel more ashamed...I did what I had to.