When Plans Go Awry

[tylashke]

Title: When Plans Go Awry
Disclaimer: Bleach doesn't belong to me... I just borrow the characters for my muse to play with.
Rating: NC-17
Warning/Info: Smut... and I think that's about it.
Pairing: ByaRen
A/N: Very late response to this spring's springkink prompt for 28th Feb - Renji/Byakuya: Pool sex - What was supposed to be a relaxing day off turned into an

Comments

[ichibanseiken]

It was sweet! I liked it a lot, I needed a low-angst, happy-happy read today. When it comes to quality I think it could use some tension. That arrives at the very end with the SWA intrusion. If you were to redo it (don't bother...it's good enough, just a suggestion for next time), it might be useful to point out how hard it is to get privacy from them - then Bya "wins" by building a lovely, secluded private spa, they enjoy it, and in the end they're thwarted again . Maybe the fear of being discovered again could provide the tension?

All in all, thank you for putting a smile on my face. I'll have something to send you tomorrow, if I work hard enough :-)

[tylashke]

*grins* The other ending I had in mind was Byakuya confronting the three people who saw it about it, which would definitely have added to the awkwardness and embarrasment... but muse felt that Byakuya letting the issue go would show how Renji's changed him since they got together, so yep. Most of my fluff/humour lacks tension.. XD

There might be a sequel to this, so expect reappearance of said pool and SWA.

[ichibanseiken]

So I just had this image of nude, dripping-wet Byakuya pacing back and forth, gesticulating and lecturing to a group of stunned SWA intruders. He's flustered and mad and close to losing his temper, and one of them just might have enough presence of mind to turn their phone on and record it in video :-)

BTW Byakuya's shikai is the petals; his bankai is the sword cage thing. He woudn't have had to go to Yama-jii over a shikai screen of petals. The effect was lovely, though.

[tylashke]

LOLOL! I believe some will just get a nosebleed in typical anime fashion and faint. XD

Proof of ability from the Bleach wiki: "Senbonzakura Kageyoshi (千本桜景厳, Vibrant Display of a Thousand Cherry Blossoms): is essentially a much larger version of Senbonzakura's Shikai. ... Those thousand swords then scatter and countless flying blades pierce the enemy." The sword cage thing is an additional bankai ability that he has to activate if he wants to. Just using his shikai wouldn't produce enough petals to cover them.

Also, muse initially wanted to have the petal cloud chase the females away with them screaming or something... Since I was writing from Renji's POV, I decided that he wouldn't be able to actually tell, so I took it out, but that scene would have been hilarious too. XD