Letting Go
Dedicated to my occasional beta argentum_luna for 'luring' me into the Bleach fandom and for her wonderful art. ^^
“Abarai, I have a lunch appointment and will be taking the rest of the day off. I will leave the rest to you.”
“Yes, Taicho. Thank you for your work today.”
Satisfied that everything was in place, the black haired noble left his office and headed back to his residence. He did not want to keep his fellow Captain waiting.
As he had expected, the white haired Captain was already there and waved off his apologies with a smile. “It is not a problem, Byakuya. After all, it is your sister I have to thank for handling matters in my absence.”
“Shall we have lunch then?” He then asked. The senior Captain nodded and he immediately gave discreet instructions to the nearby servant. They strolled past neatly landscaped gardens, blanketed by a thin layer of the whitest snow, before entering the room that had been prepared.
It offered a view of the largest garden and the koi pond he favoured. As they seated themselves, two servants entered, each bearing a tray of food on a small table that was placed before them. The soft murmur of “Itadakimasu” did not escape him as he followed suit, before picking up lacquered chopsticks and beginning on the appetizer.
They chatted over lunch, starting first with the proceedings of the last Captain’s meeting then the agenda for the next. Moving on, one dish at a time, their conversation progressed.
It came as no surprise when his counterpart mentioned Christmas - it was after all Christmas Day. Soul Society saw no need to keep up with the festivals of the Human world, although he had seen some Shinigami celebrate the festival as well.
“Rukia suggested I take the rest of the day off, saying it was Christmas. She’s been chatting about it since last month. I trust you have heard about it.”
“I have. She gladly informed me about it after Kurosaki brought her around during the festival. Apparently, it is a joyous occasion where they exchange gifts and meet up with family and friends.”
Ukitake chuckled. “Well, I prepared presents with Rukia’s help - just something simple, like candy, which I’m also sending to Hitsugaya-taicho and Kusajishi-fukutaicho. I have also prepared a simple gift as my thanks for this lunch.”
Glancing at the corridor, the white haired Captain caught the eye of the servant, who then presented an elaborately decorated box to the black haired Captain. “Thank you, Ukitake-taicho. Would it be fine to serve this for tea later?”
Smiling, the Captain replied in the affirmative as their conversation continued.
~~~
Ukitake smiled to himself as he followed behind Byakuya. The noble’s routine was familiar to him; it had not varied over the past century. When he was around, there were only two possibilities - they would either retire to a room for a game of chess or he would follow Byakuya to the room with the shrines, before continuing with their conversation.
This time, he followed in silence as the noble took the longer route to the shrine room. Sliding open the door, the white haired Captain watched while the noble bowed as he entered the room, before taking a seat along the corridor.
With a view of the Zen garden that fronted the shrine room and open doorway that led into the room, the senior Captain leaned against a pillar and watched as Byakuya lit a stick of incense before kneeling in front of a particular shrine that he had come to be familiar with.
Eyes closed and sitting ramrod straight in a kneeling position, the noble remained there, still as though he was sleeping. Gazing out over the stones and rocks that made up the garden, Ukitake allowed himself the time to reflect as well.
He knew that the noble was remembering his deceased wife; he on the other hand recalled his former Lieutenant. Shiba Kaien had been an excellent man, husband and Shinigami. Though he had not experienced the same amount of guilt as his current Lieutenant who had been the one to grant him a merciful death, somewhere deep down, it still bothered him that he had not been able to prevent the young man’s unfortunate death.
It had been a pity and despite how much he had experienced, his Lieutenant’s death still remained deeply ingrained in his memory. It had been a fight, a fight for his pride and his beliefs, but one that his Lieutenant had lost.
That was what he and Byakuya had in common - they both had something they had been unable to let go of. He barked out a bitter laugh that almost passed for one of his coughs before returning to his silent contemplation.
He knew the noble was done when he heard the door close with a soft ‘click’. Standing, he met the cool grey gaze before following silently behind Byakuya. They passed several corridors before stopping in front of a small garden, swept clean of the snow.
“Tea?”
“Yes, please.” He replied, before turning to the bamboo water feature at one side of the garden. The soft ‘thunk’ of the bamboo beat out a regular rhythm, complimenting the neat garden, while the traces of snow sparkled as they reflected the warm afternoon sun.
Two ‘thunks’ later, the servant had returned with two small tables, the box of confectioneries, two porcelain cups and a pot of tea.
“You are dismissed,” went the cool tones of the noble.
“You know, Bya-kun,” Ukitake mused after the servant was gone, taking a sip of the top grade green tea, “Christmas isn’t just a time for giving and gathering. It’s also a time of reflecting and forgiving.”
Silence followed, only interrupted by the movement of the bamboo and flow of the water.
Placing a hand on the noble’s slim shoulder, the white haired Captain continued, “It’s time to forgive yourself for being unable to save Hisana.”
Only the trained eye would be able to spot the slight tremble in the noble’s hands and the sorrow in his eyes. Green eyes watching silently, Ukitake only spoke again after the cup had been returned to the table.
“It is time to let go. You know you did everything you could. She left in peace and if she had still been here, she would have been delighted with Rukia.”
The black haired noble filled his cup, before raising it towards the sky, watching as the smoke drifted away, along with the gentle breeze. Setting it back onto the small table, he spoke, seeming to struggle to find the words. “I… will… try to.”
Patting the noble’s shoulder, Ukitake repeated the same gesture with his cup. “It is a pity that this isn’t sake.” Pausing for a moment, he continued, melancholy evident in his tone. “Kaien… I’m sorry. I know you’d laugh and say there wasn’t a need to, but I’m sorry. Also, thank you.”
Smiling a faint smile, Ukitake shifted his table next to Byakuya’s before bringing his shoulder against the other Captain’s. Setting the box of confectioneries on the table, he opened it and took one, biting into it before taking a sip of the tea.
Moments later, he felt a weight on his shoulders. Turning slightly, his green eyes caught sight of the noble’s relaxed features as a faint smile met his.
They sat like that undisturbed for the rest of the afternoon, watching the warm sunlight play on green leaves and sparkling white snow.
“Abarai, I have a lunch appointment and will be taking the rest of the day off. I will leave the rest to you.”
“Yes, Taicho. Thank you for your work today.”
Satisfied that everything was in place, the black haired noble left his office and headed back to his residence. He did not want to keep his fellow Captain waiting.
As he had expected, the white haired Captain was already there and waved off his apologies with a smile. “It is not a problem, Byakuya. After all, it is your sister I have to thank for handling matters in my absence.”
“Shall we have lunch then?” He then asked. The senior Captain nodded and he immediately gave discreet instructions to the nearby servant. They strolled past neatly landscaped gardens, blanketed by a thin layer of the whitest snow, before entering the room that had been prepared.
It offered a view of the largest garden and the koi pond he favoured. As they seated themselves, two servants entered, each bearing a tray of food on a small table that was placed before them. The soft murmur of “Itadakimasu” did not escape him as he followed suit, before picking up lacquered chopsticks and beginning on the appetizer.
They chatted over lunch, starting first with the proceedings of the last Captain’s meeting then the agenda for the next. Moving on, one dish at a time, their conversation progressed.
It came as no surprise when his counterpart mentioned Christmas - it was after all Christmas Day. Soul Society saw no need to keep up with the festivals of the Human world, although he had seen some Shinigami celebrate the festival as well.
“Rukia suggested I take the rest of the day off, saying it was Christmas. She’s been chatting about it since last month. I trust you have heard about it.”
“I have. She gladly informed me about it after Kurosaki brought her around during the festival. Apparently, it is a joyous occasion where they exchange gifts and meet up with family and friends.”
Ukitake chuckled. “Well, I prepared presents with Rukia’s help - just something simple, like candy, which I’m also sending to Hitsugaya-taicho and Kusajishi-fukutaicho. I have also prepared a simple gift as my thanks for this lunch.”
Glancing at the corridor, the white haired Captain caught the eye of the servant, who then presented an elaborately decorated box to the black haired Captain. “Thank you, Ukitake-taicho. Would it be fine to serve this for tea later?”
Smiling, the Captain replied in the affirmative as their conversation continued.
~~~
Ukitake smiled to himself as he followed behind Byakuya. The noble’s routine was familiar to him; it had not varied over the past century. When he was around, there were only two possibilities - they would either retire to a room for a game of chess or he would follow Byakuya to the room with the shrines, before continuing with their conversation.
This time, he followed in silence as the noble took the longer route to the shrine room. Sliding open the door, the white haired Captain watched while the noble bowed as he entered the room, before taking a seat along the corridor.
With a view of the Zen garden that fronted the shrine room and open doorway that led into the room, the senior Captain leaned against a pillar and watched as Byakuya lit a stick of incense before kneeling in front of a particular shrine that he had come to be familiar with.
Eyes closed and sitting ramrod straight in a kneeling position, the noble remained there, still as though he was sleeping. Gazing out over the stones and rocks that made up the garden, Ukitake allowed himself the time to reflect as well.
He knew that the noble was remembering his deceased wife; he on the other hand recalled his former Lieutenant. Shiba Kaien had been an excellent man, husband and Shinigami. Though he had not experienced the same amount of guilt as his current Lieutenant who had been the one to grant him a merciful death, somewhere deep down, it still bothered him that he had not been able to prevent the young man’s unfortunate death.
It had been a pity and despite how much he had experienced, his Lieutenant’s death still remained deeply ingrained in his memory. It had been a fight, a fight for his pride and his beliefs, but one that his Lieutenant had lost.
That was what he and Byakuya had in common - they both had something they had been unable to let go of. He barked out a bitter laugh that almost passed for one of his coughs before returning to his silent contemplation.
He knew the noble was done when he heard the door close with a soft ‘click’. Standing, he met the cool grey gaze before following silently behind Byakuya. They passed several corridors before stopping in front of a small garden, swept clean of the snow.
“Tea?”
“Yes, please.” He replied, before turning to the bamboo water feature at one side of the garden. The soft ‘thunk’ of the bamboo beat out a regular rhythm, complimenting the neat garden, while the traces of snow sparkled as they reflected the warm afternoon sun.
Two ‘thunks’ later, the servant had returned with two small tables, the box of confectioneries, two porcelain cups and a pot of tea.
“You are dismissed,” went the cool tones of the noble.
“You know, Bya-kun,” Ukitake mused after the servant was gone, taking a sip of the top grade green tea, “Christmas isn’t just a time for giving and gathering. It’s also a time of reflecting and forgiving.”
Silence followed, only interrupted by the movement of the bamboo and flow of the water.
Placing a hand on the noble’s slim shoulder, the white haired Captain continued, “It’s time to forgive yourself for being unable to save Hisana.”
Only the trained eye would be able to spot the slight tremble in the noble’s hands and the sorrow in his eyes. Green eyes watching silently, Ukitake only spoke again after the cup had been returned to the table.
“It is time to let go. You know you did everything you could. She left in peace and if she had still been here, she would have been delighted with Rukia.”
The black haired noble filled his cup, before raising it towards the sky, watching as the smoke drifted away, along with the gentle breeze. Setting it back onto the small table, he spoke, seeming to struggle to find the words. “I… will… try to.”
Patting the noble’s shoulder, Ukitake repeated the same gesture with his cup. “It is a pity that this isn’t sake.” Pausing for a moment, he continued, melancholy evident in his tone. “Kaien… I’m sorry. I know you’d laugh and say there wasn’t a need to, but I’m sorry. Also, thank you.”
Smiling a faint smile, Ukitake shifted his table next to Byakuya’s before bringing his shoulder against the other Captain’s. Setting the box of confectioneries on the table, he opened it and took one, biting into it before taking a sip of the tea.
Moments later, he felt a weight on his shoulders. Turning slightly, his green eyes caught sight of the noble’s relaxed features as a faint smile met his.
They sat like that undisturbed for the rest of the afternoon, watching the warm sunlight play on green leaves and sparkling white snow.