Tyler was (surprise) awake early the morning after prom, and, when he stepped onto the porch with his coffee, he noticed the back yard was starting to look like a science experiment in how many weeds could be grown in how small a space. Feeling the need to actually do something about it, he yanked on some old clothes and set to work gardening.
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So when she finally spotted her father (on his knees, with his bottom in the air) she squealed and launched herself at him.
"DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY!," she said, then paused for another hug. "I thought I losted you!"
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He fell backward into the mud, and came up sputtering. "What the -" he asked. "I don't have kids. Sorry."
He didn't sound sorry; the sorry was courtesy only.
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She bit a nail. "Mommy said I could."
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