sleeps with me at night.
Black sheets + abundantly furry white cat = no bueno.
So I shaved her.

That's furious in a good way. You know, those songs that when they come on in the car your fingers instinctively head for the volume and you proceed to head-bang and sing as if you were Kurt Cobain (or maybe Kelly Clarkson is more your style) while driving like a maniac ( Read more... )

And this is my plea ( Read more... )

Go cow tipping.
Buy a slip-n-slide.
Move to Orange County.
Swallow a live goldfish then throw-up said goldfish.
Have sex with somebody I love.
Send my photo to Janice Dickenson.
Flash my boobs at Mardi Gras.
Eat a raw egg.
Go skydiving.
Stand on Culloden Hill in Scotland.
Get arrested.
See an opera.
Watch Brokeback Mountain.

Me: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Trevor: why
Me: Because he was dead!
Me: Good one eh?!! Cuz if you think about it, there's really no other reason a monkey would ever fall from a tree.
Trevor: what if the monkey was drunk?
Me: Ooooh damn. Didn't think of that one. But who gave the monkey liquor in the first place!?
Trevor: the circus ( Read more... )

We made a chin face video. lolz
This was our inspiration.

Three weeks ago, the day between our birthdays, you came over. We talked forever about our childhood memories. You made me promise we'd go out for drinks later. You left, and that was the last time I saw you. Now you're in the hospital, you had brain surgery, you woke up and don't remember anybody or anything. I haven't seen you because I've been ( Read more... )

Aaaaah, pleasure and pain all at once.

(Contrary to popular belief, I am not sexually frustrated and my habit of chewing on ice does not prove a thing.)

In the spirit of chaos
I protest your absence
This lack of change
Equilibrium
Indicating strong emotion
Let's undergo an alteration
Make a new beginning
Change this protracted controversy

ON THE SURFACE YOU HATE, BUT KNOW YOU NEED ME.