my grades in school are pretty well, but i dont think im going to continue at this point.
fitchburg state is undoubtedly working better for me than lunenburg was, but i still dont enjoy it and its just not my thing
i want to let the wind take me, or be my own current.
im sick of lectures and orders and expectations
I wish I knew what I wanted.

i dont know, i cant decide. its great, its terrible. im happier alone, im lost alone. i want to do this, i want to do that. im afraid of my own future. its like im back to years ago, when i wouldnt sleep over a friends house if i wasnt familiar with everyone in the house. i have no idea where i will be in six months, or seven or eight or nine. i ( Read more... )

i changed my mind, at the moment im determined to go to hawaii pacific university.
i cant stop thinking about it
 

i looooove leonardo dicaprio. i miss film class, and astronomy.
i may have narrowed down my list of colleges to UMASS dartmouth, fitchburg, worcester state, and northeastern.
im feeling nursing.
but, i havent been to any of the schools to check them out (besides fitchburg, obviously).
i just woke up from a little nap, which means i missed the voting ( Read more... )

i dont always feel more good than bad, though ( Read more... )

i joined the hip-hop/street dancing group, i absolutely love it. we perform in april
i may be a lifeguard, i was hired but its a funny story kind of and wont know for sure til wednesday.
its funny that i almost dread the weekends because i work the whole time, and get to take it easy during the week.
it seems that ill never be ready to date anyone
( Read more... )

in general, things are going pretty well ( Read more... )

i want to love myself
my house is almost completely empty.
the floor is a lot dirtier than i would have thought.
im afraid to be alone in my new house.
i hate my wall.
 

"Hello- unfortunately we're not interested."
fuck, fuck, fuck.

im going back to bed.

yesterday i quit the soccer team, then went to classes. afterwards my mom and sisters and i went out to eat at chopsticks. then i went out shopping with lauren, and afterwards to a party in clinton. i didnt want to drink and wasnt having fun so i left and went to my friend taras party at fitchburg. it was her birthday too. i missed her, shes a lot ( Read more... )