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It's amazing how ones heart can palpitate when talking to somebody that they once considered a friend. I've been ignoring the shit that's been said and not bothering to stand up for myself just because it's not worth it. It's not a fight worth fighting. I'm not hiding, I'm not running away, I just don't care enough (and don't feel like I have ( Read more... )

Things have been so good the past couple days. I hope I don't jinx it by saying so.

I take that back. I don't hate everybody. I'm going to stop playing the Abby pity party game. It sucks and I am sick of that game. As a very wise person told me today, things are only as good as you make them and although it pissed me off to hear it, it's the damn truth. So, that's what I'm going to have to do. Plus, as we all know, I'm a ( Read more... )

I hate everybody.

Oh my god. I want so badly to fix it. To make it work again. But I guess at some point I really do just have to give up. It hurts so much though. To just listen to his voice. To hear how cold it was. I mean, I don't feel like I am in love anymore, or maybe I am. I don't know. I just want it to be better, but I know it never will be. It ( Read more... )

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Okay, getting a good nights sleep made me feel so much better. Also I had a nice talk with Elise last night. I miss everybody in Santa Cruz so much. Nice and drama free. Just hanging out and being cool with each other. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I am watching the new fraternity life and it is so weird watching ( Read more... )

I wish I had the guts to just do it. It seems like it would be easier for everybody around me since I'm such a horrible person. At least thats what everybody else seems so fond of telling me and/or making sure I know. Jessica was right when she said that the minutes things start to look up and you start to feel good there is always somebody to ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just want to yell at my mom to just "SHUT THE FUCK UP." I need to get out of Sacramento and I need to do it now. I can't believe I ever came back here. I hate everything about it. She keeps treating me like I am five years old and don't know shit from shinola and that I don't remember that she lectured me on the same thing like, I ( Read more... )