All We Need in the War on Terror Is a Firm Roundhouse Kick

[ubercooley]

As I'm watching the speechification on CNN about the Iowa caucuses, I am suddenly awestruck by the sight of Chuck Norris hanging over Mike Huckabee's right shoulder. I think I've just figured out why Huckabee is going to be unstoppable in the coming primaries, and the subsequent general election. How can the rest of the Republican candidates

Comments

[firelily]

You....are hilarious. I love you. This especially made me snort: The roundhouse kick would become the greatest military advance since the machine gun in the fields of France, circa 1916. WMD would become WCN.

God, Mary...why don't you have your own late night fake news program slash talk show yet??

[ubercooley]

Why, thank you. I resisted the urge to speculate on other action stars that should become affiliated with the various campaigns. I also had visions of Robocop hanging with Team Giuliani, and Osama bin Laden suddenly being cornered with "You. Are. Under. Arrest. For. Hating. Freedom... Creep."

Regardless, the clash between Chuck Norris and other action stars would be so bitchin'. We could bring in supernatural forces, like Alien or Predator, or we could replace democracy with a cage match between Jean-Claude Van Damme and Jet Li. John Kerry certainly could have been aided by Bruce Lee saying, "Like the cobra, Republicans are silent and deadly. Vote Kerry-Edwards."

Are you saying I should become a scab for the Daily Show during the writers strike? Because seriously, I'm over it. I need new television, damn it. One can only survive on DVDs of The Office for so long.

[anonymous]

Don't underestimate the Edwards posse. Kevin Bacon could definitely take Walker. And I don't mean The River Wild style. Footloose is enough. Sarah Huckabee is a preacher's daughter, after all.

- Zidezi