Finally Alice | PG | Alice in Wonderland
Title: Finally Alice
Prompt: Alice is confused about her sexuality
Fandom: Alice, Alice in Wonderland
Requested by: Angela
Rating: PG
Word Count: 474
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were. Please don't sue.
Author's Note: I was in a little bit of a funk this morning and begged my friend to give me a prompt as a little writing exercise. This is what I came up with. Comments are love!
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After incessant pinching left her arm a splotchy red mess, Alice was forced to concede that this was not a dream.
She tried and tried to deny what had been creeping into her thoughts as of late, hoping to believe that it was just a touch of madness that was piquing her curiosity about things that were improper for a young lady. She simply accepted these thoughts as another addition to the long list of impossible and confusing things that had no name and no purpose in her head.
It would have been better if her father were still around; he’d know what to do about it all. She could never tell her mother about her thoughts and feelings. She’d no doubt call her wicked and further push for her betrothal. The mere thought of it made her cringe, which only added to her confusion.
Was the thought of marriage so horrifying because she did not want to belong to someone else, or because she didn’t want to belong to a man?
For years Alice believed it had been the former, purely because she was so lost in her own skin most of the time. It was hard enough being a fatherless girl left to the whims of her mother, for she was primped and prodded like a doll and not like an Alice at all. She did not want to be someone else’s toy; she simply wanted to be herself, whoever that was.
It seemed rather silly that she’d begun to feel more like herself in a dream world, even though she knew by now that Underland wasn’t a dream world at all. She began to understand things about herself, things that made no sense in London. She began to see, for the first time, that perhaps nothing was wrong with her, that perhaps…it was okay to be what she thought she was. It was strange to Alice that such things might exist; she’d never seen anything like it. As she’d come to learn in Underland, impossible things were surely possible. It was the possible things that made less and less sense.
What made sense to Alice was that the White Queen was of an extraordinary beauty that she’d never seen before. What made sense, for the first time in the entirety of her existence, was that admiring such beauty was not worthy of shame. It was comfortable and exciting all at once.
Maybe Alice was a little different than other girls, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Her father had never raised her to be like everyone else-he’d raised her to be Alice, strange and curious in her own right. She was attracted to women and she believed in impossible things, and in the end it made her more like herself than anything else had.
Finally, she was Alice.
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Prompt: Alice is confused about her sexuality
Fandom: Alice, Alice in Wonderland
Requested by: Angela
Rating: PG
Word Count: 474
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were. Please don't sue.
Author's Note: I was in a little bit of a funk this morning and begged my friend to give me a prompt as a little writing exercise. This is what I came up with. Comments are love!
-
After incessant pinching left her arm a splotchy red mess, Alice was forced to concede that this was not a dream.
She tried and tried to deny what had been creeping into her thoughts as of late, hoping to believe that it was just a touch of madness that was piquing her curiosity about things that were improper for a young lady. She simply accepted these thoughts as another addition to the long list of impossible and confusing things that had no name and no purpose in her head.
It would have been better if her father were still around; he’d know what to do about it all. She could never tell her mother about her thoughts and feelings. She’d no doubt call her wicked and further push for her betrothal. The mere thought of it made her cringe, which only added to her confusion.
Was the thought of marriage so horrifying because she did not want to belong to someone else, or because she didn’t want to belong to a man?
For years Alice believed it had been the former, purely because she was so lost in her own skin most of the time. It was hard enough being a fatherless girl left to the whims of her mother, for she was primped and prodded like a doll and not like an Alice at all. She did not want to be someone else’s toy; she simply wanted to be herself, whoever that was.
It seemed rather silly that she’d begun to feel more like herself in a dream world, even though she knew by now that Underland wasn’t a dream world at all. She began to understand things about herself, things that made no sense in London. She began to see, for the first time, that perhaps nothing was wrong with her, that perhaps…it was okay to be what she thought she was. It was strange to Alice that such things might exist; she’d never seen anything like it. As she’d come to learn in Underland, impossible things were surely possible. It was the possible things that made less and less sense.
What made sense to Alice was that the White Queen was of an extraordinary beauty that she’d never seen before. What made sense, for the first time in the entirety of her existence, was that admiring such beauty was not worthy of shame. It was comfortable and exciting all at once.
Maybe Alice was a little different than other girls, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Her father had never raised her to be like everyone else-he’d raised her to be Alice, strange and curious in her own right. She was attracted to women and she believed in impossible things, and in the end it made her more like herself than anything else had.
Finally, she was Alice.
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