(Dis)Honorable Intentions | NC17 | Guiding Light
Title: (Dis)Honorable Intentions
Fandom: Doris/Olivia, Guiding Light
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 995
Summary: Olivia needs to forget. Doris needs to remember.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were. Please don't sue.
Author's Note: Hear me out: I'm definitely an Otalia shipper. It's true. They're wonderful but you kinda have to admit that Doris and Olivia would be pretty damn hot together too. Besides, I'm a little angry with Natalia for leaving Olivia in this rut, so here's my way of working through that. Let me know what you think!
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My self-respect disappears the moment she kisses me and I kiss her back.
I am a woman of logic. I'm rational, reserved, and everything that a respectable mayor should be.
Who I am seems to dissolve when I feel her tongue against mine.
I should push her away. I should remind her that it's not me that she wants, and that it's not me that she's picturing behind her closed eyelids. I shouldn't let Olivia make the mistake of sleeping with me when she wants someone else.
But I do. I let her push my blazer off my shoulders. I let her slam my back against the closed door of her office and undo the buttons of my blouse. I let her kiss the breath out of me.
It should bother me that she's using me. She's using me to cover up the visceral pain that courses visibly through her body.
I'm using her too.
It's been a long time since someone's been this hungry for me. It would be a lie to say that I haven't yearned for this. Olivia is a beautiful woman. My desire for her spans several years. It made marriage bearable. I'm just as ravenous, if not more, and the way she sucks my bottom lip into her mouth only heightens the force of my hunger.
She needs this. She needs me -- maybe not Doris Wolfe, but she needs a body that can make her forget for a while how much she hurts inside. I can give that to her.
Clothes are discarded in a flurry of movement. We don't even make it to the desk; I pin her to the ground and pull away long enough to let her look me in the eye. I want to give her a chance to see me.
She blinks several times. I can see that her eyes wet, harboring unshed tears. I can also see that she's sick of crying and that she's sick of playing slave to her emotions. This, using me, is her way of regaining control. This is her way of reminding herself that she is Olivia Spencer.
It hurts to see these tears. I wish she'd look at me the way she looked at Natalia.
This is it then -- my chance to make a mark on her in some way.
Olivia may be using me to forget, and I may be using her to remember what this feels like, but I'll be damned if she walks away from this without remembering who brought her back to life for a brief moment.
I trap her arms beneath my hands, held above her head. I encourage her to grip onto the legs of the chairs that she lies between and she does. She gives me control. I shift my body so that I'm straddling her leg and she's straddling mine. I press against her, allowing her to feel the firmness of my thigh against her cunt. She's wet, hot, and it kills me to know that it's not me that she's feeling this for.
I begin to rock against her, allowing our hips to mimic each other's motions. I gyrate against her thigh while she does the same to mine. It feels impossibly good to have a woman between my legs again and I have to bite my lip to refrain from coming too soon.
She throws her head back, her lips pursed in her signature pout that is broken only when she can't contain her sighs. She feels good. It thrills me to see this and I rock harder. I dip my head to enclose one of her hardened nipples in my mouth. This feels better than I would have ever expected and I moan. She moans too.
I bite and suck a little harder than I mean to. She hisses and arches her back, and I take that as permission to do it again. I realize I'll never get my chance to do this again and, rather than savor her and take her slowly, something snaps in me. I release her nipple from my mouth with a 'pop' and take her mouth. I brace my elbows on either side of her and I fuck her hard, grinding my hips into her with an abandon I forgot existed within me. We're going to hurt tomorrow. We'll be bruised and sore, but right now it's what we need. Our bodies are slick with sweat.
When she comes, I can feel the pulse of her clit against my thigh. I can feel the surge of moisture coat my leg. She buries her face into the crook of my neck and groans. My own climax follows shortly after, hitting me hard and fast. Every corner of my body spasms and shakes so hard that my limbs go numb. It renders me breathless and I collapse on her. My heart is pounding out of control.
It takes several long moments before I gain the sense to roll off of her. I can already feel my hip locking up as my back drops to the dirty floor. I look at her out of the corner of my eye; I feel like an intruder, interloping on a private moment as she collects herself. Her eyes are screwed tightly shut. A tear manages to escape, rolling down her temple and collecting in her hair.
Part of me feels guilty for allowing her to go through with this. I know she wanted her first time with a woman to be with Natalia. I know she considered herself a virgin in that aspect and was allowing herself the chance to give herself to someone in a special sort of way. I stole that from her by not being a better friend and saying no.
For all I've been through and all I've done, this is the first time I feel remorse. This is the first time I wish I had thought of someone else first.
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