Dear Wanker Boyfriend,
SHAPE UP.
If you keep playing like a dense moron, I promise I will KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD INTO NEXT WEEK YOU WON'T REMEMBER WHERE IT WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
SO! To avoid any casualties and bouts of violence, just say "Hello." And mean it. No more half-assed conversation, for fuck's sake.
It's all or nothing. Do or die. Fess
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