'Come here', he said, his breath pleading with her lips again. His eyes were already closed once more, and she wanted more than just the warmth of his fingers in hers
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I like this a lot. It's not actually poetry though -- you have no line breaks, stanza, or verse. It's a very short story or fiction (???). However, it is quite loverly.
For Example in Poetry:
'Come here', he said, pleading with her lips again. His eyes closed once more.She wanted more than just the warmth of his fingers in hers;
Each line break makes the line stronger. The first and last words of each line are the most important. Keep writing!
Oh, it's definitely not traditional poetry by any means. But by my standards, there are definitely line breaks, and I really don't see this as a "story" or even a piece of flash fiction. So weird prosey poem thing, maybe. Like I said, I don't exactly know what it is, but it's as close to a poem as I can really get without being an ass hitting the enter key over and over.
We could debate what traditional poetry is, but b/c I write very little that's considered traditional poetry and don't really like it, there's not much point b/c, haha, neither one of us writes it. It's definitely not just about hitting the enter key over and over. It's about hitting it in a place of emphasis do direct attention to an evocative word or phrase to grab the reader and display a prominent feeling.
It does read like a story broken into mini paragraphs and sentences. Poetic line breaks are different than the end of a sentence -- period -- new paragraph/thought sequence. 'Line breaks' are a grammatical structuring, not sentences. Nothing wrong with it, but it's definitely different. Maybe I'm just arguing semantics here.
Heehee, weird prosey poem thing for sure. It definitely has a poetic heart flow to it. Whatever it is, I like it :D
Heehee, weird prosey poem thing for sure. It definitely has a poetic heart flow to it.
My thoughts exactly! Which is what makes me inclined to refer to it as a poem, but who can be certain. Silly humans and their desire to categorize everything!
Comments 5
For Example in Poetry:
'Come here', he said,
pleading with her lips
again. His eyes
closed
once more.She wanted
more than just the warmth
of his fingers
in hers;
Each line break makes the line stronger. The first and last words of each line are the most important. Keep writing!
**sorry if you didn't want the advice.
Reply
Reply
It does read like a story broken into mini paragraphs and sentences. Poetic line breaks are different than the end of a sentence -- period -- new paragraph/thought sequence. 'Line breaks' are a grammatical structuring, not sentences. Nothing wrong with it, but it's definitely different. Maybe I'm just arguing semantics here.
Heehee, weird prosey poem thing for sure. It definitely has a poetic heart flow to it. Whatever it is, I like it :D
Reply
My thoughts exactly! Which is what makes me inclined to refer to it as a poem, but who can be certain. Silly humans and their desire to categorize everything!
Reply
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