This is life as we know it.
So I'm entering this new music phase. The heavy christian metal phase. It's quite interesting.
Ugh... every morning in orchestra we sit in the office and talk. And almost every morning they mention her. And they make fun of her. Mr. O'Bryan too. She's told me that he is the one teacher who knows everything and she feels like she can trust. The whole situation just makes me feel so horrible. Even more so because I haven't stood up for her. There's alot of people who make fun of her, not only in orchestra, and I almost never stand up for her. She's someone who God has put on my heart. She's a believer but she just struggles so much. She trusts me. That's what hurts. I'm letting her down. She's SO different, and it's hard for her to trust people. And she just constantly fuels their fires... which is what she needs help with, help that I can't give her and she has no support (from her perspective) from her family. I get that. The parents not understanding and making rash judgements...
So that was kinda random, I wasn't planning on writing that. I wasn't even really feeling it until it came out. God's kinda funny like that huh?
You know how I was freaking out because I become a leader at my church on friday? Ok maybe not... Freaking out because I'm realizing the responsibility and influence I have and how much needs to change personally... good motivation.. yet completely petrifying because I'm not there yet and my failures tend to be extra public... but I was comforted by the fact that I won't REALLY be leading until next fall and even then it'll be a co-leadership...
About that. Yeah. Amandas brothers birthday is thursday. And she's going out to dinner with her family. Which leaves ME in charge of SUP. AND we're actually having a group this week.. the NYC team. Mostly sophomores. PEOPLE I KNOW. My own freaking brother! Amanda calmed me by telling me that Joyce will be helping me... but it's still weird! Talk about initiation! I get thrown right in the fire!
I'm actually pretty excited. Scared out of my mind. But excited.
Ugh... every morning in orchestra we sit in the office and talk. And almost every morning they mention her. And they make fun of her. Mr. O'Bryan too. She's told me that he is the one teacher who knows everything and she feels like she can trust. The whole situation just makes me feel so horrible. Even more so because I haven't stood up for her. There's alot of people who make fun of her, not only in orchestra, and I almost never stand up for her. She's someone who God has put on my heart. She's a believer but she just struggles so much. She trusts me. That's what hurts. I'm letting her down. She's SO different, and it's hard for her to trust people. And she just constantly fuels their fires... which is what she needs help with, help that I can't give her and she has no support (from her perspective) from her family. I get that. The parents not understanding and making rash judgements...
So that was kinda random, I wasn't planning on writing that. I wasn't even really feeling it until it came out. God's kinda funny like that huh?
You know how I was freaking out because I become a leader at my church on friday? Ok maybe not... Freaking out because I'm realizing the responsibility and influence I have and how much needs to change personally... good motivation.. yet completely petrifying because I'm not there yet and my failures tend to be extra public... but I was comforted by the fact that I won't REALLY be leading until next fall and even then it'll be a co-leadership...
About that. Yeah. Amandas brothers birthday is thursday. And she's going out to dinner with her family. Which leaves ME in charge of SUP. AND we're actually having a group this week.. the NYC team. Mostly sophomores. PEOPLE I KNOW. My own freaking brother! Amanda calmed me by telling me that Joyce will be helping me... but it's still weird! Talk about initiation! I get thrown right in the fire!
I'm actually pretty excited. Scared out of my mind. But excited.