A terrible feeling of deja vu
and she feels the same way too ... but because of circumstances, she doesn't feel it can work ... so we seem to be yo-yoing between spending wonderful time together and deciding that we can't carry on, so we might as well spllit up.
The thing is that we just get on sooo well together, and the sex is awesome, but it's really hard on the heart when you're cconstantly flitting from incredible closeness and a distance that neither of us want.
We've both got four days off work, which would be a perfect opportunity to spend lots of time together, and she's being all distant with me ... and part of me just wants to leave her to get on with it ... but most of me just wants to snap her out of it, and enjoy the time together. Another part of me wants to relax & be calm, (relatively) secure in the knowledge that emotions this strong just don't go away, and that it will all turn out right in the end ... but even I'm not that secure in my own optimism ...
One other development is that I shared the URL of this journal with her yesterday, and she sifted through the last few years (of the public) entries today. I feel that we are incredibly similar, and thought it might help if she read some stuff ... but I'm not sure that's the case. Most of what she read was either meaningless tittle tattle, or stuff I'd written about my previous relationship(s), which probably didn't help at all.
Oh well ... guess I need to just crack on with stuff & make the most of the time, and not worry too much about what may or may not happen. The ball is in her court, and all I can do is wait & keep myself occupied. The bathroom could probably do with a few hours spent on it ... finishing off the tiling, tightening up some loose plumbing connections & generally cleaning up everywhere.
Hope everyone else has a lovely break, whatever you're doing ...
:-)
The thing is that we just get on sooo well together, and the sex is awesome, but it's really hard on the heart when you're cconstantly flitting from incredible closeness and a distance that neither of us want.
We've both got four days off work, which would be a perfect opportunity to spend lots of time together, and she's being all distant with me ... and part of me just wants to leave her to get on with it ... but most of me just wants to snap her out of it, and enjoy the time together. Another part of me wants to relax & be calm, (relatively) secure in the knowledge that emotions this strong just don't go away, and that it will all turn out right in the end ... but even I'm not that secure in my own optimism ...
One other development is that I shared the URL of this journal with her yesterday, and she sifted through the last few years (of the public) entries today. I feel that we are incredibly similar, and thought it might help if she read some stuff ... but I'm not sure that's the case. Most of what she read was either meaningless tittle tattle, or stuff I'd written about my previous relationship(s), which probably didn't help at all.
Oh well ... guess I need to just crack on with stuff & make the most of the time, and not worry too much about what may or may not happen. The ball is in her court, and all I can do is wait & keep myself occupied. The bathroom could probably do with a few hours spent on it ... finishing off the tiling, tightening up some loose plumbing connections & generally cleaning up everywhere.
Hope everyone else has a lovely break, whatever you're doing ...
:-)