Labels. Why I Use Them… and Hate Them.
So as some people know, I actively promote the concept of labels for people. Whether we discuss gender, sexuality, romantic attraction, religion, political views… whatever. Part of that opinion I really took on from one post I read and loved which in summary boiled down to, "I label myself because my surroundings say I have to, and if I don’t, they’ll just do it for me - and probably get it wrong."
I agree with this 100%. Now mind you, this comes from a blog concerning gender-identity, but the message can apply all across the board. However I despise labels all at the same time. My reasoning goes like this… notice my sidebar? The whole message talks about the Black Iron Prison we all have around each and every one of us. Every label you tack on to yourself becomes just another bar and the view out gets narrower and narrower… more dim(?). We assume these identities and whatever stereotypes society decided those labels should have, no matter how in/accurate or inconsiderate such views may sound. If taking on certain labels, we should not feel like we must stay locked into any one label or meaning.
Below I list some tongue-in-cheek labels with meanings:
Gay? A guy with "fabulous" fashion sense, typically dressed as bikers and employed as sailors.
Lesbian? A woman with short cut hair, wears flannel, listens to Indigo Girls and wears Birkenstocks. Hates men.
Liberal? Must have voted for Obama and just wants to live off the state.
Republican? Christian, up-tight asshole. Loves George Bush Jr. like a Saint.
Identify as some gender other than what your parents raised you as? Weirdo who desperately seeks attention.
Christian? Bible-thumping, Hell-fire threatening, do-gooder and hypocrite.
Atheist? Really a Satanist in disguise who worships Richard Dawkins and participates in a pseudo-religious cult called Science.
If it wasn't obvious, the above examples clearly suggest mild humor… although I have heard the definitions given as very serious definitions from a variety of people. I could go on and on with more of the above but won't. The point remains, that when we take on these labels, even with the best of intentions we let our identities be defined for us. We settle on the terms whose definitions other people created for us and we mold ourselves to fit. This becomes the reason why we don't always fit these label we try so hard to find and that others may "understand" us.
I myself have a list of labels I "identify" with:
Buddhist, Discordian, agender/gender-neutral, polyamorous, omnisexual, bibliophile, independent politically but leans towards anarcho-communism… many more will come and go with time as they have so up to now. All these just so I can get across quickly the type of person I "am", what belief(s) I hold, etc. without having to do much talking. That summarizes the whole point of labels.
As a serious example…
You tell me you identify as female… ok. I ASSUME you have long hair, and larger breasts than than the typical male, and theoretically no penis. Ok. Pagan? Likely calls yourself a witch and does mystic incantations inside your pentagram on the floor or at your altar plus you have a thing for fairies and the woods. You likely have one or more cats. Bibliophile like me? Not only do I like you, but your altar likely has gotten buried by your books with cats sleeping on your unread books.
Things like that define the purpose of labels. Could that above example prove inaccurate? OF COURSE!!! And that shows the problem with labels. But no-one could say I came across that tiny example with bad logic. Society has taken these labels, tacked on assumptions/definitions and we just roll with it. Sometimes with pride, other times we have to correct the frequent misconceptions with frustration.
When speaking about gender-identity, Lady_Savant said something profound (as usual): "I think one of the things that get me about gender identity is that most of it is based off societies view of what each gender is and should be/look like while in truth we are all a flux of being and can call upon either spectrum as needed or desired."
While that was about gender-identity, I posit that this comment really holds true for pretty much any label we choose to identify with. Like in the Black Iron Prison I briefly mentioned above, the labels make up some of our bars. We could choose to do away with the labels and have a more scenic/beautiful view of the life in front of us, or just change our labels as we tire of them to keep the view fresh and alive. Not only will it keep our minds agile, but will keep those around us on their toes, never knowing what to expect from us.
So in the end, do I choose to keep my labels? You bet I do. But I DEFINE THEM. No-one else gets to do that for me if I so choose (unless I agree with the common definition). Not only do I define them, but if I want to dissolve the discussion into nonsense and identify as an aging meat-sack with eyes and hair that moves around on a large rock hurtling through space… I can choose to simply "be" that and no-one could argue with me. Or I could identify as "alfalfa" and that conversation would end because other people wouldn't get what they want, which would involve pinning me down with labels so they would have a short, sweet but in some/many ways inaccurate summary of what makes me, me.
"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman
Viva La Resistance!
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