Jul 18, 2010 23:13
Kevin was dead, and it was all Kibum’s fault.
Kibum couldn’t believe it. May be he just saw something wrong, yeah his eyes were playing tricks on him. That’s it. Well, that’s what he thought until the doctor came out of the room with gloom written all over him.
“I’m sorry, we couldn’t do anything for him. Something happened while he was unconscious, a nightmare or something. His heart wasn’t strong enough after the amount of blood loss and stress that was put upon it. You’re friend has passed.”
Nothing. No one said anything, the only noise was the small whimper Kibum let out. His angel, his Kevin was dead, gone forever. They all walked into the room to see Kevin. He looked like he was sleeping, just peacefully sleeping. Kibum walked over and placed a chaste kiss to Kevin’s cold lips.
“I’m sorry..I love you Kevin.” Kibum walked away fists clenched as he let the other members say their goodbyes to Kevin. This was undoubtedly the worst day of his life. They all started to walk to the car to head back home. The management company had been informed and they we’re going to make a formal statement tomorrow.
“Kibum don’t think about it.” Alexander said while he was rubbing Eli’s back as they all climbed into the car.
“Think about what?”
“Doing something to hurt yourself. It won’t bring Kevin back and honestly we can’t deal with losing another friend.”
“I wouldn’t Hyung, Kevin would be sad if he knew I did that. I can’t do anything that would make him sad….even if he is gone.” Kibum let out a shaky breath as Soohyun wrapped and arm around him.
The announcement was made early that morning and fans were crowded outside of U-kiss’s dorm, with flowers and small memorials for Kevin. Kevin’s family requested a small funeral with only the members, close friends of Kevin’s and family only. If fans would like to visit Kevin’s grave after they may, but for the whole funeral process they didn’t want them there. Surprisingly the fans didn’t bother the family, not even showing up to the church where the funeral was being held.
Kibum was standing by the doors outside the church before Kevin’s coffin was to be brought. Jun Hyung came up behind Kibum and hugged him.
“Hyung…” Kibum turned around and hugged him back as he began to cry. Although his other members were there for him, Jun Hyung was the only one who could fully grasp what Kibum was going through. He felt Jun Hyung pull him closer and kiss the top of his head.
“Kibum-ah, he’s in a better place. We have to be strong Bummie.”
“I know…but no matter what the last thing I told Kevin’s living body was I hate him…” Kibum started to cry again at the memory. Kevin never knew Kibum still loved him, but Kibum knew Kevin loved him. It was the last thing Kevin cared to say.
*Flash back*
“Bummie…I lo…ve…you”
*end flash back*
Kibum sighed and straightened up looking at Jun Hyung who patted his back and motioned behind him. Kevin arrived. They held the doors open as the coffin was taken to his perch at the very front of the church. Kibum didn’t know that the funeral had ended until everyone started to get up to pay their last respects to Kevin. He was too lost in thought and memory to pay any attention to the priest or Jun Hyun’s speech. Kibum got up being the last person to get to see Kevin. He sighed and leaned down kissing his lips softly. His angel was gone now, and this would be the last time he got to kiss those perfect pink lips. He could have sworn Kevin’s face changed after the kiss, but decided not to say anything because he didn’t want to be deemed crazy.
“I love you Kevin, I always will.” He fixed the small misplaced hairs on Kevin’s head and shut the coffin carefully. This was it. The members of U-kiss carried Kevin’s coffin to the burial spot and placed it in the ground. They began to shovel and cries started to break out. Dongho was the first to stop shoveling and collapsed by his shovel crying his eyes out. Soohyun stopped soon after to try and comfort Dongho, although it was obvious standing took too much strength from him. Kibum was the last one standing when Kevin’s grave was filled, placing flowers and Kevin’s picture right up next to his tombstone is when Kibum started to cry. Things would never be the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~****************~~~~~~~~~~~~*****************************************~~~~
1 year later
Kibum sat on the grass, a cold October breeze washing over him. He pulled his jacket closer to him and sighed.
“I miss you.” Kibum over Kevin’s grave cleaning away all the grass that had grown around and placing new flowers.
“It’s been a year, can you believe it?” Jun Hyung said as he wrapped his arms around Kibum’s waist from the back. Kibum leaned against him and sighed happily. He didn’t know when or how, but him and Jun Hyung became a couple this past year. Jun Hyung turned Kibum around and placed a soft kiss to his lips.
“I love you Kibum-ah.”
“Hyung…” Kibum blushed, Jun Hyung knew Kibum still hadn’t gotten over Kevin, but he believed in good time he would. That Kibum could love him back. They said their goodbyes to Kevin and walked hand in hand back to the car.
“You ok Bummie?”
“Yeah, just thinking.”
“About what?”
“I love you too.” Jun Hyung stopped. Kibum…loved him too? Finally! He’d been waiting 7 months to hear that from Kibum. He was overly excited, he grabbed Kibum and kissed him hard. Wrapping one arm around his waist and cupping the back of his head with the other. Kibum started to blush, he wrapped his arms around Jun Hyung’s neck and pressed closer to him. Kibum didn’t lie, he did love his Hyung, but he wouldn’t love him more than Kevin. And despite Jun Hyung’s beliefs, Kevin would never be replaced in Kibum’s heart. Kibum was taken from his thoughts when Jun Hyung’s and lifted Kibum onto the hood of his car, when had they gotten there anyways?
“Let’s finish this at home.” He whispered huskily in Kibum’s ear, which only cause the latter the nod and blush more furiously.
~********************lalal skipping the car ride****************~~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~
Before Kibum even fully stepped out of the car Jun Hyung had his lips attached to Kibum’s once again pulling him out of the car. Kibum wrapped his legs around Jun Hyung as he kicked the door closed. Kibum reached in his pocket and opened the door to their shared apartment. The reason Kibum left the U-kiss dorm is because the room he shared with Kevin was now a place of death. All the U-kiss members left the dorm instead of getting a new one. Jun Hyung let Kibum down and brought him to the couch patting next to him.
“Did you mean it?”
“Yes Hyung.” Kibum leaned in and placed a soft chaste kiss to Jun Hyung’s lips, living and loving this moment with him. The sweet moment was short lived as Jun Hyung began to climb over Kibum until he was lying down on the couch. Jun Hyung’s hands rubbing up and down Kibum’s thigh. Kibum moaned softly and this allowed Jun Hyung to slip his tongue past Kibum’s lips. They fought for dominance which Jun quickly won, he pressed closer to Kibum their crotches rubbing and pulling a moan from both of them.
“Kibum-ah…I want you.”
“Junnie…take me.” Jun Hyung paused for a moment to look into Kibum’s eyes. They’ve been dating for awhile and every time Jun Hyung brought up sex Kibum would push him away saying he wasn’t ready. Deciding Kibum seemed sure enough he slid one of his hands under Kibum’s shirt and parted his legs with his knee inching closer to him. Kibum moans softly as Jun Hyung’s hand brushed against his nipple, he titled his head to the side, a silent plea for Jun to continue. His lips latched onto Kibum’s neck , sucking softly on one spot. Jun Hyung trailed kisses all over Kibum’s neck, from his ear lobe to the junction of his neck and collar bone and bit. Kibum let out a loud gasp, he tugged Jun back up and kissed his lips hard wrapping his arms around his neck trying to keep him there. Jun Hyung pulled back and pull Kibum’s shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He looked down gazing at his beautiful boyfriend, he had hard chiseled abs that complimented his slim figure well. In other words, Kibum was hot.
Kibum was blushing, Jun Hyung was just staring at him, so he started to squirm and successfully rubbed their clothed erections against each other. Jun moaned and tilted his head back.
“Hyung, bedroom….please” Kibum blushed harder and looked away, this was going to be his first time. He wanted to give it to Kevin but given the circumstances that won’t be able to happen. Jun Hyung picked Kibum up and kissed him hard while Kibum wrapped his legs around his waist. He carried him to the bedroom and laid him down. He knew it was Kibum’s first time, so he needed to be extra careful and make sure Kibum knew just how much he loved him. And just how much this meant to him, he meant to him.
~************************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********************
Kibum lay in the best basking in the after math of their love making. Jun Hyung was extra careful but it still felt soooo good. He turned on his side to look at his cutely sleeping boyfriend, Kibum kissed his lips softly and smiled when Jun Hyung smiled at him. He crawled carefully out of bed, his back side hurting and objecting to his movement but he continued anyways. He walked into his study room and pulled out a box from the bottom drawer of his desk. Kibum sighed. He pulled out the note book and began to write.
“Dear Kevin,
It’s been a full year since you’ve left me. I missed you so much and I still do, but it’s gotten a lot easier to deal with. Jun Hyung hyung is my boyfriend now Kevin, surprising right? I finally told him today I love him too, and he made love to me. I really wanted to share my first time with you Kevin, and I know you knew it. I’m apologetic now, even while being with him there was a brief moment I thought of you. I still love you Kevin. More than anyone else, I may love Jun Hyung hyung but he’ll never take your spot my angel, I love you.”
Kibum put the pen down and sighed with shaky breaths. The thought of Kevin always made him tear up. He had a schedual tomorrow and needed to get some rest, so putting away the letter and box he stood up and made to leave the room. But before he left he kissed the picture of Kevin and smiled whispering “I love you” and left walking to his bed, where his forever faithful boyfriend lay.
~************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You what!?” Eli screamed, Kibum came in noticeably happier than he’s been since Kevin died. So his group members were curious. Kibum blushed when he told them that him and Jun Hyung had done it the night before. Everyone was happy for Kibum, except for well…Eli.
“What’s your problem Eli!? Why can’t you be happy for Kibum?” shot back SooHyun who was none too happy with Eli. See Eli blamed Kibum for Kevin’s death and never forgave him. Aside from work he wanted and had nothing to do with Kibum.
“He’s my problem! How could you betray Kevin like that? It’s bad enough you’re dating someone else, but really? What the fuck Kibum!” Eli spat getting from his seat, hands clenched, he couldn’t help but be angry, it was his fault Kevin was dead. Kevin loved Kibum and Eli couldn’t begin to understand why, he was a heartless jerk.
Kibum looked to the side and sighed.
“I didn’t kill him Eli, he killed himself and it’s about time you stop blaming me. It sucks that he’s gone, and I loved him yes with all my heart. Still love him, but that means I’m not allowed to find any happiness? I’m supposed to just be alone all my life because he’s dead? He’s dead Eli DEAD! That means he’s never coming back!” Kibum broke down crying with his last sentence. Alexander was quickly by his side while Eli got punched by Soohyun. Soohyun yelling at Eli for being an immature brat, Kibum didn’t deserve what he said, it wasn’t Kibum’s fault Kevin was dead. Everyone knew Kibum took his death the hardest in the first place, and was beating himself up over it for the longest time. He finally started to forgive himself and try to find happiness then Eli had to be a bastard and stop him. Kibum got up and sprinted out the door with Alexander trailing right behind him.
“KIBUM LOOK OUT!” He heard Alexander shout, and then turned around to notice a car coming 50 mph straight at him. The head lights filled his vision and everything went black.
~*******************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kibum shot up, breathing heavy, covered in sweat. He lived? How did he get here, why was he alone? He heard Alexander whispering something before coming over to him.
“Ahh Kibum-ah your awake!” Alexander sounded happy and gave Kibum a small hug. Kibum calmed down a bit.
Eli came to Kibum and placed a hand over his heart.
“I’m glad you’re ok Hyung!” He smiled and also gave Kibum a hug. Wait why was Eli glad he was alive? Didn’t he just want him dead? He let out a shaky breath and shook his head. He remembered this being the same hospital Kevin died in, and he was suddenly over come with sadness and he started crying.
“Kibum-ah stop crying Kevin wouldn’t like it.” Soohyun said as he strode over with Dongho who looked like he had just woken up from a nap.
“Kibum Hyung…..”
Everyone froze. That voice, it was Kevin’s. Why could he hear Kevin’s voice?!
“Kevin your awake!” Alexander cheered and skipped over to Kevin. Kibum looked over to the boy lying on the bed, still pale but awake.
It was just a dream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~********************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hahaha you thought I killed Kevin didn’t you? Calm down! It was just a dream =) all just a dream ^____^
For the JunBum part, if you want a smut cut tell me and I’ll do it ^^; I had it in mind but wanted your opinion before I added random smut,~ but as you can see I did have a reason to put it there in the first place! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME !!!!
Comment please ty <3 hope you enjoyed
pairing: kibum/kevin,
author: k,
rating: r