Comments | ulfilias: Am I Weird ???

ulfilias

Am I Weird ???

Mar 05, 2011 15:21

Please read this, particularly if your a single / independent lady

( Now this is a post about something that has been playing on my mind and i wanted to run it past people. )

Comments 23

kiss_me_quick March 5 2011, 15:37:53 UTC

And well guys it just seems a bit wrong.

Why? Perhaps because there is something more in it that you care to admit. Friends are friends, whether they are male or female attached or single.

ulfilias March 14 2011, 17:10:44 UTC

No. Typicaly there is not more than i'd care to admit.....And I agree with you that friends are friends....However thats just the way my brain works.

motodraconis March 5 2011, 15:39:29 UTC

Well, I've been known to do similar - though for me this is usually dependant on how flush I am feeling. When times are good, I want to share my good fortune and can react in a way that could (and often has) embarrassed the recipient. (Tend to buy large, sporadic gifts out of the blue rather than lots of small gifts.)
Sadly, when I'm not flush, I become very miserly. It's one extreme or the other for me - dependant on my fluctuating finances.

ulfilias March 14 2011, 17:12:12 UTC

Its normaly daft stuff of a couple of quid, sometimes less. Think i've spent an upper limit of £7 max so far in all my years of doing it !

motodraconis March 14 2011, 17:48:46 UTC

Hmmm, I confess, lots of random "cheap" unreciprocated gifts would make me suspicious, in that I would perceive that some sort of manipulation was occurring - buying friendship, wanting sex, trying to look like an amazing friend on the cheap or even deflection ( ... )

ulfilias March 15 2011, 09:27:48 UTC

It is not usualy amied at one person and is often a one off, unless there is already a prior connection, ie a Girlfriend or oddly Ex's, but the latter is usualy because they understand me, not because I want them back (ex's are ex's for a reason, typicaly because it didn't work).

I never try to be an Amazing friend. I'm just me. I try and be the best me that I can, but I also know my limitations. I'm often terrible at keeping in touch (the net is a godsend), not because i don't care, just because i easily get distracted.

Buying friendship or girlfriends is an insidious idea to me. Like me for me, or don't.

bikerfaerie March 5 2011, 16:05:47 UTC

Yes Lee, you most certainly are weird, I'm sure anybody who's met you will know this :P

On this subject though I can relate to what you are saying. I've seen things that make me think of people and would have liked to get them for them, but I'm not as brave as you and fear I would be too embarassed. I also have to say that when I've seen you give these gifts I never got the feeling that it was other than exactly what you describe. It's just that, as a female you find there are so many creepy men out there with their own agendas. I'd heard "I'll help you fix your bike" a few times before I worked out that it actually mean that they wanted a favor in return (ick). It can be very hard to not be suspicious. The world can be a big bad manipulative place and some of us are just not designed to fit in to it.

blondelass March 5 2011, 17:12:42 UTC

I agree with this.

ulfilias March 14 2011, 17:17:02 UTC

Yeah....I've seen guys try and do that sort of stuff. Its not my style. Heck most the time i'll refuse to buy a lady a drink in a club who I don't know well as I'm of the mind set that I want someone to want me for who I am and nothing else. I see too many gold diggers after my father just 'cos he is a millionare, he trades on that which i find daft as he can be a charming and charismatic guy !

valkyriekaren March 5 2011, 16:34:13 UTC

Well, getting surprise presents is always lovely. Though I would wonder if the young ladies in question might not think you have romantic intentions towards them.

ulfilias March 14 2011, 17:17:53 UTC

Quite often i've explained not.

thedinster March 5 2011, 16:56:08 UTC

Aw, that's nice ^_^
Although if you make a new lady friend, she might take it the wrong way so I'd advise to buy random gifts for good old friends only...

And thank you for the occasions that you gave me a lift home, Uncle Whiskers! ^_^

larissa_00 March 7 2011, 12:44:21 UTC

That sounds like good advice.

I'm another lass that's failed to see immediately that the chap offering to help fix the central heating for 'a pint', is hoping for more. I suppose after a couple of horrible misunderstandings, you do get more cautious, so sadly you can't be too surprised if a new lady friend wasn't quite sure what to make of an unexpected gift.