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[ullyeus]

**sorry for the formatting but this is the best I could do for the effort I wanted to put in.

So it was asked that I carry over some of my debate/discussion on why I've decided to not have kids over to this forum...

First off, I wanted to really look *for* reasons to have kids...as I believe there are many tangible, obvious reasons not

to...

In

Comments

[arbydar]

I see now why you were so angry about the formatting of your copy and paste. It's hard to break something apart, when physically, it's so broken up already.

I didn't really come here to talk about formatting though, it was more to say that this here post is literacy and debating gold, and I look forward to writing a proper response when I have some time this evening after the kids are in bed ;)

[bluejupiter]

I think there are many reasons to have children and many reasons not too. I admire people who have thought it through and have come to one conclusion or another. Neither conclusion is wrong. Either having kids is for you or it isn't, and it takes a special kind of courage to admit to a society that "expects" you to have children that you don't want any

[pixilated_serra]

gross oversimplification (as im prone to)

i think of it in terms of how much joy a child would bring me, versus how much stress it would cause me. and then i compare that result to the amount of joy my cats (or other pets) bring me vs how much stress they cause me, and the answer is pretty obvious.

[ullyeus]

the argument that could be presented to you though is that you have no frame of reference to how much joy a kid would bring you...and that it brings you lots and lots and lots and lots according to most parents...more than anything you are able to even contemplate.

But you'll need to have a kid to make sure.

[arbydar]

This afternoon, at work, I was in a rather chatty kind of mood, and had all this Love and glee for everything around me. It's close the end of the day, and all that joy and shit is still there, but

[unseulfeu]

One could say the same about many human relationships... they're pretty intangible, they cause as much pain as good... Why date someone? Why be intimate? Why do anything... you're a bit nihilistic

[ullyeus]

Comparing it to a conventional "lover" type relationship did come up....but I don't agree it's the same.

With a lover I can get to know them before any large commitment and there are numerous tangible benefits...

2for1 coupons
nakid wrestling
companionship
splitting of bills
doubling of resources
intellectual stimulation

And as mentioned, I get to know them first and then make an "educated" jump to spend the rest of my life with them...also knowing they are an adult and could survive without me if they had to..

With a child I roll a dice..something pops out that I'm stuck with for 20 years and I hope I end up liking them