I am the worst father ever

[ultraswank]

Just a few minutes ago I was changing Xander's diaper and had managed to lull him into a false sense of security through a carefully orchestrated series of chin tickles and peek-a-boos. Little did the child realize what horrors I had in store for him, what levels of depravity and cruelty his father would sink to. For I was about to unleash:

The

Comments

[umbria]

Start saving for that therapist now.

[rxw]

cheer up, man. it's more likely that your endless assertions of the superiority of "the good old days" will drive him to despise black clothes and deafening club environments.

and holy cow- forget coprophilia, you went straight into deviant deviancy! ever hear of building up to something???

[damiondead]

dude, thats nothing.

We were playing "raar" (I chase him and he runs giggling, then he attacks me back, and fun is had by all..), and I hid behind his crib, and waited to suprise him, well, he apparently forgot I was there (attention spa---what? runs in the family I guess...). A few moments later I jumped out and went "RAAR!" at Dante, and he jumped a foot in the air and just about pee'd his pants in pure unalloyed toddler terror.

Do I suck? Oh yes, yes I do. Took like 5 minutes for the hysteria to subside, and I felt like some kind of hideous monster the whole time. Thank god for the healing power of squishy animal toys.

[anaguma]

Thanks for the heads up about where the next John Wayne Gacy will be coming from.

[erichedman]

piffle.....just wait until he's a teenager.

then you can tell him he's unlovable....that ought to scar him for life.