Secrets I'm Dying To Keep {Part 2/?}
Title: Secrets I'm Dying To Keep
Genre: Angst
Rating: Pg-13
Paring: In this part, Jaejoong/Junsu (Friendship), eventualy OT5
Summary: Jaejoong is slowly being worn down.
A/N: Sooooooooooooo sorry this took so long. School's been a bitch. I hope this compares to the the first part. Updates will be more regular lately too!
Junsu is the first to find out, despite Jaejoong's effort to keep it a secret. He and Jaejoong are the only ones home when Jaejoong suddenly starts wheezing and falls against the wall trying to support himself.
The older man refuses to tell him what's happening, but the situation quickly speaks for itself when his condition worsens.
Junsu is terrified. He doesn't know what to do. He wants to make Jaejoong feel better, but how does help when the other is pushing him away through every moment of his agonizing torture?
By the time the coughing comes to an end they're both resting on the bathroom floor, Jaejoong leaning back against Junsu's chest and the latter smoothing Jaejoong's hear back out of his face.
Sleep slowly takes hold of the exhausted man and when Junsu feels his body fully relax he picks him up and carries him off to bed.
It's hard to keep a secret when living in such close quarters with so many people. But Junsu promises Jaejoong that he'll do his very best. After all, it has to be possible if Jaejoong's succeeded in hiding this for so long.
Junsu clings to Jaejoong like a leech everywhere they go. He's taken it upon himself and himself alone to watch out for the older man. It's not easy, but he refuses to let Jaejoong deal with this alone, no one should ever have to.
Jaejoong is determined to turn away the offered help in the beginning, but his persistency soon fades. He begins to welcome the comfort Junsu brings, though he doesn't think it's fair to put so much on him.
He wanted to deal with things on his own. He wanted to heal himself without making the others worry, but now that he had Junsu, he didn't understand how he'd ever planned on that.
Jaejoong needs Junsu like he needs oxygen. He relies on his words of comfort and steady hands to hold him up.
He starts coming home late, trying to avoid the silence that night brings forth in their small apartment. Junsu is always there, waiting up for him. And when the other's begin to question his late nights Junsu comes to his defense. He refuses to be the usual pushover and tells everyone to leave Jaejoong alone, that he's old enough to take care of himself and doesn't need them breathing down his neck.
It's a lie of course, part of it anyways. Jaejoong can't take care of himself. He needs Junsu to be there for him, to care for him. But he doesn't voice his opinion on this, there's no point. Junsu knows.
Junsu begins to see just how strong Jaejoong really is, despite the other's opposite opinion. He sees how good the lead singer is at pretending, at hiding things from his friends, family and fans.
It almost seems natural the way he smiles and laughs in front of the camera and when his family comes to visit, but Junsu knows better. He sees behind the facade.
One night the attack is worse than Junsu has ever seen. It lasts longer than any other and there's blood. Not a lot, but even the slightest drop didn't seem like a good thing to Junsu.
While he sits there, holding the shaking form of Jaejoong in his arms an idea crosses his mind. It's an idea that crosses his mind every time this happens, but he's never mentioned it before. He was afraid of how Jaejoong would react.
Junsu barely gets out the whole word before he's silenced by a slap to the face.
Doctor? The idea petrifies Jaejoong. What if he goes and it turns out whatever is happening to him is incurable? What if it's fatal? He couldn't bear to hear those words or the finality in them, at least like this he still had a fighting chance.
He was scared.
He didn't want to die.
Jaejoong sees Junsu's face after the harsh slap and feels instantly worse. He's crying now, a mix from the lack of air, the doctor idea and Junsu's expression. The younger boy looks so hurt, eyes wide and directed down and away.
Jaejoong wraps his arms around the others waist, burying his face into the other's chest.
"I'm so sorry Junsu. I'm sorry for everything."
Junsu doesn't mention the idea again.
It's slowly starting to wear down on Junsu and he doesn't know how much longer he can take it. He wants, no, he needs to tell someone. He needs someone to talk to, but he made a promise and he isn't sure if breaking it would also break their bond of trust.
He keeps it in for as long as possible, but one night he finds himself curled up under the covers with another member, whispering confessions that aren't his to make.
"I'm scared Yoochun.
"
Genre: Angst
Rating: Pg-13
Paring: In this part, Jaejoong/Junsu (Friendship), eventualy OT5
Summary: Jaejoong is slowly being worn down.
A/N: Sooooooooooooo sorry this took so long. School's been a bitch. I hope this compares to the the first part. Updates will be more regular lately too!
Junsu is the first to find out, despite Jaejoong's effort to keep it a secret. He and Jaejoong are the only ones home when Jaejoong suddenly starts wheezing and falls against the wall trying to support himself.
The older man refuses to tell him what's happening, but the situation quickly speaks for itself when his condition worsens.
Junsu is terrified. He doesn't know what to do. He wants to make Jaejoong feel better, but how does help when the other is pushing him away through every moment of his agonizing torture?
By the time the coughing comes to an end they're both resting on the bathroom floor, Jaejoong leaning back against Junsu's chest and the latter smoothing Jaejoong's hear back out of his face.
Sleep slowly takes hold of the exhausted man and when Junsu feels his body fully relax he picks him up and carries him off to bed.
It's hard to keep a secret when living in such close quarters with so many people. But Junsu promises Jaejoong that he'll do his very best. After all, it has to be possible if Jaejoong's succeeded in hiding this for so long.
Junsu clings to Jaejoong like a leech everywhere they go. He's taken it upon himself and himself alone to watch out for the older man. It's not easy, but he refuses to let Jaejoong deal with this alone, no one should ever have to.
Jaejoong is determined to turn away the offered help in the beginning, but his persistency soon fades. He begins to welcome the comfort Junsu brings, though he doesn't think it's fair to put so much on him.
He wanted to deal with things on his own. He wanted to heal himself without making the others worry, but now that he had Junsu, he didn't understand how he'd ever planned on that.
Jaejoong needs Junsu like he needs oxygen. He relies on his words of comfort and steady hands to hold him up.
He starts coming home late, trying to avoid the silence that night brings forth in their small apartment. Junsu is always there, waiting up for him. And when the other's begin to question his late nights Junsu comes to his defense. He refuses to be the usual pushover and tells everyone to leave Jaejoong alone, that he's old enough to take care of himself and doesn't need them breathing down his neck.
It's a lie of course, part of it anyways. Jaejoong can't take care of himself. He needs Junsu to be there for him, to care for him. But he doesn't voice his opinion on this, there's no point. Junsu knows.
Junsu begins to see just how strong Jaejoong really is, despite the other's opposite opinion. He sees how good the lead singer is at pretending, at hiding things from his friends, family and fans.
It almost seems natural the way he smiles and laughs in front of the camera and when his family comes to visit, but Junsu knows better. He sees behind the facade.
One night the attack is worse than Junsu has ever seen. It lasts longer than any other and there's blood. Not a lot, but even the slightest drop didn't seem like a good thing to Junsu.
While he sits there, holding the shaking form of Jaejoong in his arms an idea crosses his mind. It's an idea that crosses his mind every time this happens, but he's never mentioned it before. He was afraid of how Jaejoong would react.
Junsu barely gets out the whole word before he's silenced by a slap to the face.
Doctor? The idea petrifies Jaejoong. What if he goes and it turns out whatever is happening to him is incurable? What if it's fatal? He couldn't bear to hear those words or the finality in them, at least like this he still had a fighting chance.
He was scared.
He didn't want to die.
Jaejoong sees Junsu's face after the harsh slap and feels instantly worse. He's crying now, a mix from the lack of air, the doctor idea and Junsu's expression. The younger boy looks so hurt, eyes wide and directed down and away.
Jaejoong wraps his arms around the others waist, burying his face into the other's chest.
"I'm so sorry Junsu. I'm sorry for everything."
Junsu doesn't mention the idea again.
It's slowly starting to wear down on Junsu and he doesn't know how much longer he can take it. He wants, no, he needs to tell someone. He needs someone to talk to, but he made a promise and he isn't sure if breaking it would also break their bond of trust.
He keeps it in for as long as possible, but one night he finds himself curled up under the covers with another member, whispering confessions that aren't his to make.
"I'm scared Yoochun.
"