[fic] The reunion (chapter 7a)
Title: The reunion
Pairing: Jaemin (main)
Warnings: language, drugs, Minsu fluff alert (for this chapter)
Rating: PG-13 to R, PG-13 for this chapter
Summary: The two boys were childhood friend.
A/N: sorry for the late update, and thanks for all the comments!! xD
PART7A
“I see a crying Mama’s boy.” A boy whom everyone called ‘Hyungnim’ poked Changmin’s temple with his feet, hard enough to wobble him aside but not enough to induce harm towards anything but a pride. However, such luxury called dignity was something that Changmin had learned to let go during the past months, thanks to the constant humiliation and sarcasm he had been receiving from the young drug dealer who kept his real name confidential. The expensive shoe could always make its way to his head or face, to show Changmin superiority rather than actually hurt him. Either that or the petulant boy just needed a game, and apparently making other boys grew desperate towards something that only he could provide, and made those boys his underlings in exchange, was definitely his favorite game.
Changmin groaned, he hated it when the boss caught him remembering something from the past. “Just make it straight, where’s my job.” He brushed his arm against his eyes, wiping the trace of tears to avoid his boss from mocking him even more. He was no longer cowering, only a plain hatred and annoyance being displayed.
“Whoa, slow down… you need sniffs that soon?” Hyungnim, who obviously not in legal age to drink, took a sip from his can of beer and burped before leaning his back against the big brick wall and stripping Changmin with the underestimating look the boy had grew accustomed of. “Men don’t cry, dickhead.”
“They just won’t stop.”
“Then you better go back to Hyukjae’s place, I’ll inform him you need a fuck or two. I guarantee you’ll stop… oh wait. Or maybe you’ll cry harder for more-”
“Fuck you.”
Hyungnim scoffed and swung his feet towards Changmin’s direction, threatened him a kick. “Omo, where’s that cute little boy muttered ‘Yoochun-hyung don’t do this to me’ in his afternoon nap?”
“I've told you not to mention his name!” Changmin got up and gripped the older guy’s collar, slamming him hard to the wall. Without even grimacing, Hyungnim threw his spilled beer can aside and pulled a handful of hair on the back of Changmin’s head. His eyes narrowed as he reduced the distance between them.
“No one give me orders." He landed a punch on Changmin's jaw, causing the weaker boy to lose balance and fell on the ground, wincing in pain. To fulfill the satisfaction, he sauntered towards him and was about to step hard on the neglected knee before the boy dodged aside and quickly got up, pouncing all of his body weight and dragged the drug dealer to the ground, straddling him between his knees and gave him a nice knuckle on the cheek before got smacked on the side and landed on his back. Hyungnim dropped himself on top of the younger guy, both groaned and grunted as they rolled and battled against each other for dominance until the older boy finally won over his underling and celebrate his victory by nudging feet over and over to the limp head.
Changmin gasped desperately for air, face flushed, sweat trickled and eyes watered in anger and shattered pride whilst his boss dusted the dirt from his own shirt, steadying his breath rhythm and massaged his bluish cheek bone before snorted and tossed a plastic bag near the loser's feet. His eyes were distasteful.
"Don't cry. Laugh it out, go make fun of other people's life."
Brushing his eyes for one last time, the younger guy got up and shoved the plastic into his pocket.
“Exactly what I’m about to do now.” He grunted cynically.
Changmin had lost count on how long being the working dog of a drug dealer had became the only way he could live his life. Back in that huge mansion he used to live in, never once he imagined his life would change drastically. At first, Hyungnim gave him heroin for free, much to Changmin's pleasure the magic substance could make him forget all the games life had pulled out of him. The drug dealer also dropped him food and money which the boy shamelessly savored in order to survive without bothering the humiliating remarks and attitude, and gave him shelter, a small apartment room inhabited by an ecstasy addict named Hyukjae, and therefore making them roommates. Hyukjae was disowned by his family because he preferred sex that included shoving things from the back rather than front, and almost assigned his self to any sex deprived gay businessman as a job before Hyungnim found him and offered him a better and definitely more pleasuring job. Unlike Changmin, the blonde boy seemingly enjoyed screwing his life.
“You got money, you got food, you got high, you got different holes to try everyday without having your parents pissing at your face.” Hyukjae reasoned. And honestly Changmin had been too accustomed with the scenery of his roommate inappropriately battling and riding naked boys on the bed he supposed to sleep at, so well that he could even eat Jajangmyeon while listening to Hyukjae’s moans and whoever’s plea of ‘oh Hyung deeper harder’. At first he was certainly freaked out, pale, escaped, and other trauma manifestations you name the rest, before he ended up finding himself naked on the bed with an equally naked fellow underling named Donghae, after the last party they had with some pills stolen from Hyukjae’s drawer. (In which Hyukjae furiously screamed, “You stole my boy and my X!! No bed for you tonight! And you, you gonna regret it Dong-fish, I’ll fuck you till you rip and bleed and too weak to even wipe your cum afterwards” - And Donghae only smirked joyously, “I’ll be looking forward to that”).
Gradually, sex became something so natural for him that he couldn’t even look at it as more than the friction of two meats (plus some slimy substances came in handy). Sometimes the girls or boys he delivered drugs for suddenly pulled him into corner and willingly offered him (or asked him) services, which he rarely refused. It feels good anyway, he thought. He felt like storming his anger and desperation as well as revenge towards the memory of Yoochun violating him, that he ended up doing it roughly and mercilessly, which surprisingly making those boys grew addicted and asked for more. The last time a fellow underling named Taemin ferociously gave him a headjob, Hyukjae shrieked on how lucky he was because every non-frigid gay guy wanted a dip of the Lee Taemin, but Changmin only shrugged and yawned. Sex never interested him that much outside from few minutes before he climaxed.
"It doesn't make sense how everyone bowed to him like loyal dogs, he's just as a snotty little kid as most of us." Changmin fumed one day, and received snickers from Donghae as a reply.
"Then why do you stay? We're on the same boat."
He needed a place to stay, he needed money, he needed heroin, Hyungnim provided those, and apparently they were just teens with messy life that refused to think outside the box.
Shuffling his feet lazily to the destined transaction place, Changmin mused, remembering what other drug addicts once said about their relentless boss.
"He's filthy rich, you know? His family got influences."
"He's immune to law. Killing people won't even drag him to jail."
"You know what the funny part is? He’s just a highschool boy. And he got some ranks."
“He won’t hurt you as long as you succumb to him. Why it’s so hard to do it? It’s for your own good.”
After one or two bus rides (and some lost directions in between) Changmin arrived at the front gate of a private all girls high school, scanning the rush of female students for the one described as 'a wavy haired beauty with heart patterned red ribbon on her head'. Changmin got the transaction addresses; clients contact number as well as the illegal items from Hyungnim, for clients and few for him as a bribe. Then he must store a certain amount of money to his boss and could have the rest, depending on his bargaining ability, in which Hyungnim often labeled as ‘below sucks’.
It wasn't long until the previously described girl appeared from within the crowds, darting her gaze right and left for her business partner. Changmin approached her with a faked warm smile on his face, pat her shoulder and caused the girl to jolt, couldn't hide the fear of being witnessed buying drugs by her surroundings.
"Hey!! long time no see. You look great." He acted as if they were acquaintance. The girl instantly grasped what the boy was aiming at and nodded nervously. "T-thanks... You look great too."
What an amateur.
Changmin decided not to lure the homey looking client any longer let alone having fun with her, and ended the meeting before everything got worse. Transaction started as soon as they found a quiet place, and it appeared that the girl offered him more money than he asked, so long and tiring bargaining wasn't needed.
However, that day's amusement began when he passed a certain park on the way home and witnessed a familiar figure warped in school uniform.
It was his boss.
Hyungnim always took off his suit and left the white shirt underneath unbuttoned to accelerate his bad boy looks whenever he checked the gathering spot of his underlings. Changmin doubted that many underlings had seen their boss with his complete set of uniform, and wondered whether they would laughed their asses off, cooed, booed, or simply fainted. In a positive way: clad president, in a negative way: video game lover high school nerd. His asymmetrical bang was combed aside, that's why.
Scooting to a grove of bushes, Changmin decided to cautiously spy the scene, because there his boss was standing and about 1 meter in front of him, voilà, a girl. Mischievous grin settled on Changmin's face.
“I will continue my study in America tomorrow, my family wants it.” the girl looked down, twirling the hem of her shirt.
Changmin was almost plopped on his ass when he heard his boss responded the fidgeting girl in such gentlemanly manner he thought would never come from the likes of him, “Oh… that's good for you." His voice was feathery, his eyes were brotherly.
“Oppa.." The girl took a deep breath. "I… I… I love you so much."
Changmin mentally cackled.
“Taeyeon..."
“No, that’s okay. I know you can never love me.”
“I’m so sorry…” Hyungnim touch the girl's shoulder and stroked it comfortingly.
“Oppa, I know this is too much, but… but... I want to remember everything about you, can you... Can you..."
Changmin felt like watching a Japanese drama. He held his breath, not wanting to ruin the perfect scene he was enjoying.
The girl wavered. “C-Can you kiss me? And I promise this will be the last time you see me…”
The underling jawdropped upon seeing the so called relentless boss circled one arm around the girl's shoulder, gently pulled her closer and placed a peck on her cheek. Changmin rocked back and forth, palm on his face fighting back laughter from spoiling the sweet air. It had been a while since he found something so entertaining. Even sex with Kyuhyun wasn't that amusing.
“Oppa… I love you so much…” the girl cried, buried her face deeper on Hyungnim's chest.
Hyungnim stroked her head lovingly and whispered to her ear, “Thank you, Taeyeonnie…”
Changmin kept spying the scene with a grin spread from one ear to another until the girl ran away, leaving Hyungnim alone in the quiet park, ruffling his hair and sighed before spinning around to find Changmin's bland face. A surprise looks crossed his face briefly before he replaced it with the stoic one- that is, before the impudent underling displayed a nasty scrunching face, eyebrows knitted and lips pursed.
“Oppa… I love you so much.” He mimicked the way Taeyeon confessed to his boss.
Speechless and blushed, the drug dealer could only mutter ‘Damn it’.
“Thank you Changminnie.” Changmin continued, his voice was even more dramatic.
Hyungnim clenched his teeth and walked past the boy. “Shut the fuck up dickhead.”
Changmin tailed the older boy, bouncing and yapping “I want a kiss on the cheek too.”, kind of surprised that his boss didn’t land a feet on his face as a reply. He assumed that the previous girl truly bothered him that he momentarily lost all those habits of being violent.
[After one hour…]
“Taeyeon is such a nice name.”
“WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!!??” Hyungnim thumped the table’s surface, causing his French fries to spill from the plate and could do nothing when Changmin snatched one of them. None of the two cared about their surrounding’s disturbed look towards the commotion.
“I’m lonely you know…” Changmin purred, munching the heavenly crispiness.
“And how’s that become one of my businesses? Just go, anywhere, go high, fuck someone, LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
“You told me to make fun of other people’s life…”
“ANYONE ELSE’S BUT MINE!!!”
“Well you didn’t tell me beforehand, now it’s too late…” Changmin shrugged and stopped munching French fries to observe his boss’ disgruntled look.
“What’s with that face.”
“I’m amazed you’re doing nothing physically abusing to shoo me away.”
“If you want it so much I’ll give you later, right now I’m just not in the mood to soil my extremities with your germs.”
“So, back to the girl.” Changmin stole more fries. Hyungnim groaned.
“Did she know you take drugs?"
“Of course not, I'm a respected student."
"Whoa. I thought addicts must have screwed their sanity."
"I'm not an addict. Yet."
Changmin formed an ‘o’ with his mouth, thinking that on the contrary to his temper, his boss must be someone with excellent self control. He was about to ask something when a waiter came bringing his chocolate milk. He slurped it blissfully and tilted to his boss, “You’ll pay for this, right.” Hyungnim dropped his forehead to the hard table surface, muttering curses.
“By the way I never know why you’re doing all these things… they said you have no problems with money.”
Hyungnim slammed some pieces of cashes, cost more than a plate of French fries and a cup of chocolate milk. He snorted and left. But of course, Changmin wasn’t ready to lose all the fun.
“Do the others know how sweet you can be? Kiss a brokenhearted girl to ease her from the pain of rejection?”
The bait was enough to make his boss turned around, unable to hide his horrid looks. “Oh, they don’t know.” Changmin stated, smirking wide.
“Listen kid, don’t make me use a fork to pick your eyeballs out.”
“Where are you going after this?” Ignoring the threat, Changmin dared to walk right next to his boss. He even deliberately joined in when his boss stopped a cab and stepped inside.
“NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!!??” Hyungnim quickly shot an apologetic looks towards the poor taxi driver which earned a joyous grin from Changmin.
“I want to introduce myself to your family…”
“YOU’RE NOT MY GODDAMN FIANCEE!!”
“Still want to know your family.” Changmin slumped against the comfortable car seat. “Don’t worry I won’t tell them anything.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Like I said, I’m lonely and bored.”
“Oh nice, and it’s my responsibility to entertain you, oh great.” Hyungnim rolled his eyes. Changmin was actually trying to push his temper, wanting to know how far he could go before the boy stepped him on the brain. He waited, but unlike usual, his boss did nothing more than grunts and complaints, seemed like the previous girl wasn’t just a mere junior that it bugged him so much.
After about an hour of silence in the car, they arrived in front of a big white gate with carvings decorating the surface. Changmin’s eyes bulged wide upon seeing the gate’s enormous size and the big angel statues on either side of it.
“Omo… I thought something like this… only appeared in drama…”
Before he managed to comment further, the gate opened, causing him to flinch in surprise. A man with black suit greeted them with a black shiny limo beside him. He informed something about the driver who was looking for his young master while the said master preferred to ride a taxi.
“We haven’t reached your house yet??”
Hyungnim didn’t respond towards all those amazements. He proceeded to the car, sulking. Changmin shamelessly joined him after whining, “Hyungnim, don’t leave meee~~~”
In few minutes (which Changmin spent by darting eyes in awe outside the window) they arrived in front of a gigantic European styled house (Changmin again blabbered, “I only saw this kind of house in the world history textbook!") A maid opened the big door, smiling freshly at the boys. “You rarely bring your friend over, young master.”
“This kitten won’t stop following me, Noona.”
Changmin grinned sheepishly at the maid, suppressing squeal that he called him 'kitten' and called the maid 'noona' without realizing how cute those were. He used to have few maids too in Yoochun’s residence, but he called them with name. Guess this boss had more surprises under his sleeve.
“Anything I can prepare for your meal? Or maybe a warm bath?” the maid offered.
“No thanks, I’ll go straight to my room.”
The hall seemed endless as they headed towards the said room. Hyungnim walked in quick pace and Changmin followed him behind while watching the paintings lined along the wallpaper covered wall in fascination.
“You painted these?” he asked.
“My twin did.”
“You have a twin!?”
“Yeah. But he’s dead.”
“Oh.” Changmin paused. Something nudged the corner of his mind. Why did he felt like it wasn't the first time he dealt with someone whose brother was dead? “You must be lonely.” He commented spontaneously.
“Of course.”
Changmin rather surprised that the acknowledgement slipped out so easily. Guess his boss was really out of his mind that day.
“Your twin loved to paint?”
“Yes.”
“Me too.”
Hyungnim turned around to look at him, frowning at the purposeless information. He was about to say something insulting, but ended up sighed and shrugged. “…. You can take my properties then.” He halted in front of a certain door, opened it and entered. Changmin immediately stormed in to express fascination towards every aspect of the luxurious room, ignoring his boss who was still holding the door knob and making it seemed like he opened the door for him.
“Sooo… considering from your reaction, that girl wasn’t just a mere girl.”
“WHO GIVES YOU PERMISSION TO BOUNCE ON MY BED LIKE THAT!!??”
Changmin stopped bouncing on the spring bed but made no effort to get up. “Let me guess, actually you loved her but…”
Hyungnim groaned, but finally answered “My brother loved her. Like crazy. She didn’t know.”
“…Oh.”
“Listen, you should be grateful that I’m feeling kinda sore now, but don’t expect me to stay still towards your insolence tomorrow. I won’t mind breaking some bones, understand?”
Changmin grinned. “Understand, Hyungnim.” He continued to glance around and laid his eyes on some painting utilities lined up neatly on the corner of the room.
“How about taking those with you and leave?" Hyungnim offered, voice dripping in sarcasm.
“How about drawing something together?”
“The hell I would.” The boss dropped his school bag onto the floor. "How about you use those as you like and keep your mouth shut while I'm doing what I have to do?“ He fumbled the content of his bag and took out a book and a pencil case.
"Is that sketching a strategy map to conquer the world?"
Hyungnim scoffed. Changmin annoyed him on purpose but agreed at the suggestion nonetheless. He started to pick some tubes from the box and flipping canvases, choosing one with suitable size. He sat on a chair in front of the canvas while his boss sighed in relief and sat before his study desk, flipping the pages of his textbook. They had their backs against each other in about 3 meters radius. Silence occupied the room for a moment before...
"Hyungnim?"
"What."
"I can't find the oil."
"It's on the bed drawer."
Changmin dragged his chair, causing a teeth aching scratching sound. Hyungnim winced and groaned. When silence returned, he sighed and was about to continue the reading task, but…
"Hyungnim?"
"What again!?"
"Why there's no blue?"
"How the hell do I suppose to know?
"Oh, it's here."
The poor scholar dropped his forehead onto the table, clutching his book that it wrinkled. "Let me concentrate, I have homework to do!!" he admitted shamelessly as his delinquent enigma shattered into pieces.
Again, something nudged Changmin's mind. Like a Deja-vu, he felt someone also scolded him once about the homework issue and it definitely wasn't Yoochun.
Silence returned.
"Hyungnim?"
This time Hyungnim ignored him, so Changmin tiptoed towards him and poked his shoulder, causing the older guy to spin furiously and exploded, "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"
"I can't open the cap." Changmin innocently showed his boss the blue paint tube with dried paint covering the base of the cap. To his amusement, Hyungnim roughly snatched the tube and spun the cap in one angry move, scoffed and shoved it back to Changmin's hand. "THERE!!" he snapped.
Now that no problems left, Changmin started to practice his old hobby, stroking colors on the white surface while humming a cheerful tune. Surprisingly Hyungnim didn't comment anything about him humming. Probably my voice isn't that bad, Changmin thought. Little did he know, in fact his boss was pulling hair to random directions.
"Dickhead… open that drawer beside you.” Hyungnim finally spoke after Changmin finished a chorus or two. Changmin did as he told. He found some tiny pills inside a clear bottle. “Try that.” Hyungnim offered.
“What’s this?”
“Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, LSD, acid. Hallucinogen.”
“Uh… I don’t want to be addicted to too much stuff you know…”
“It makes you seeing things. Some people said it’ll just show you meaningless trips, but some said you might see the summaries of your life in a way and make your deepest memories surface, probably in a twisted way.” Hyungnim chuckled seeing his underling’s eyes widened. “… Rings a bell?” he leant forward and glared a challenging look. He never knew much about Changmin’s life, nor he cared, but he knew the boy had issues in two words: ‘memory’ and ‘Yoochun’. Still, those blabbering under the influence of drugs and alcohol didn’t explain enough of anything. “Try it. Put it on your tongue.” He persuaded.
The hesitated looks on the younger’s eyes disappeared and he did exactly what his boss said. Hyungnim continued his study, knowing that Changmin would definitely becoming mute for the next few hours. And he did.
It wasn’t long before stinging eyes and exhaustion defeated the Richie rich that he fell asleep on top of his textbook, forgetting the younger boy who was right behind him.
Past midnight, he woke up due to the aching neck and decided to sprawl onto the bed instead. He noticed that Changmin was still drawing.
“Gosh, you haven’t finished?”
Receiving nothing as reply, he sauntered towards the painter and let out a weak gasp of amazement that Changmin was still drawing under the influence of acid. He took a seat next to the boy, shifting his eyes from the canvas to Changmin’s face and back to canvas, checking if there was any expression change due to certain strokes, only to find that there wasn’t any. Observing unusual behavior was also one of his hobbies, nonetheless.
“Honestly you’re not bad. Make that your job after I quit using you.” Hyungnim yawned, looking at the clock. “Just don’t leave me any mess tomorrow.” He plopped onto his bouncy bed and felt asleep.
The drug dealer spent the next morning to shout at Changmin, telling him to stop crying inside his bathroom, get out and have an injection instead. On the floor was a discontinued painting, a silhouette of a wavy haired man feeding his dog was destroyed by some furious black strokes.
*
*
Changmin sat in front of his latest drawn painting, index finger and thumb idly rubbed his chin, eyebrows knitted, one hand scratching his head and sighed in annoyance once in every few minutes. The latest trip he had remained vague in his memory; it frustrated him that he had drawn a completely unrelated matter than what he managed to recall.
His lips still taste a warm salty tear, his body felt thin arms wrapped around him, the smooth surface of straight hair remained on his palm, before the feel of Yoochun all over his body interfered, disconnecting him from those feeling. In the end the painting was a winged little angel praying in front of a cemetery, and it tortured him to configure the meaning.
He squirmed in anxiety and grabbed the previous drawing he made in unconsciousness, comparing it with the latest one. The first painting was a little boy squatting next to a water tap, holding a dirty ragged shoe with one hand and a brush with the other hand. The scene felt familiar even after he recovered from the drug influence, and when he thought he had regained something, the next painting that supposed to help him integrate the puzzles was confusing him even more.
The first time he tried LSD, he saw Yoochun. As clear as crystal. He saw the person he loved most in the world, his working room, his bedroom, his dog. He felt his warmth and his scent, he heard his husky singing voice and greasy words and actually experience those moments all over again - those hugs, those kisses, and even those horrible pains. The boy desperately needed his beloved stepbrother that much, that he attempted his second acid trip just to see and feel his beloved person, even though he had to bear the pain in the end.
Unfortunately his second trip was completely different than what he expected. He found himself in a familiar room that wasn't Yoochun's, walking towards the door and opened it to have a little boy whom face he couldn’t see pulled him into tight embrace. He saw the boy’s back as he stormed into the room before everything changed, colors sapped through his vision, the image of Yoochun occurred.
He knew that Yoochun had lied to him about his past, and now he realized that he had lost something important because of that. It bugged him how he couldn’t control what he saw and what he drew, and how the vision of Yoochun always harassed him in every trip and discontinued him from remembering anything. Surely there were things that overlapping inside his head and he was dying to disentangle the threads.
“I think the wings part lack shadowy effect…”
And it was harder due to a certain Richie rich right next to him.
“Could you please shut up!? I’m thinking about something!” Changmin complained.
Hyungnim grabbed a cooking spatula sized paint brush and smacked it to Changmin’s head, earning a loud ‘Ouch’ from the younger boy. “Fuck you. I’m this place’s owner, I can do whatever I want.” Letting out a nonchalant sigh, he got up and grabbed one of the paintings Changmin had drawn. “I’m going home.”
From the bed edge, Hyukjae could only shook his head watching their boss heading towards the exit and slammed the door shut. “He’s one weird dude.”
“He freaking came to steal my work. And this isn’t the first time.”
“But it’s so unlike him to come all the way here just for that.”
Changmin only scoffed, feeling relieved that at least Hykjae would be quiet as long as he didn’t do sex.
Few months passed ever since Changmin got obsessed with his acid induced hallucination. His craving for two substances at once was dangerous, watching withdrawal symptoms got into some of his mates made him realize that. Still, he needed to dig his memories so bad that he preferred those bad and failed acid trips over heroin’s euphoria. It scared him whenever he noticed that the usual dose no longer worked. The craving tortured his body, but at the same time those paintings he drew gave him hope, made him believe that he had a destination to go. That there was a life out there waiting for him, outside the one that Yoochun had destroyed. He ignored the fact that drugs could completely destroy him even before he reached that destination.
It was one afternoon, in the midst of the increasing addiction, when he heard the news. It spread like fires among the group that Hyukjae got caught in a club and polices were on their way to dissect the drug dealing web. The boys mourned at how Hyungnim would get away easily with his family’s influence and all, while there was no escape for them. Some of them ran, some of them passively wept and some didn’t even care. Apparently Changmin belonged to the last.
He turned his cell phone off after reading text message from Donghae that the police would be on his place in less than half an hour. He didn’t know why, but as much as it feared him that he wouldn’t be able to take LSD inside jail, his sane logic told him that maybe it was for the best. He was about to take a nap when someone knocked the door loudly.
He thought it was the police, so he shuffled lazily towards the entrance and opened the door. Unexpectedly it was his boss, sorrow drawn all over his face.
“Hyungni--” The words were cut off when the mighty boss suddenly flung himself towards his chest, causing him to gawk before stepping backward. “Who-whoa!! You freak me out, man!!” He shrieked.
“I’m such a jackaaaass!!”
Changmin’s mouth hung opened at the abrupt recognition. Half dazed, he pushed the older guy away but the limp body stuck to him like glue. “Uhm.. you never not one honestly……… oh. You drunk.” He stated the obvious, sniffing the smell radiating from his boss.
Staring with disgruntled look, Hyungnim shook Changmin’s shoulder vigorously, causing the younger to step back a bit to maintain balance. “It’s all my faaaault!!! I’ve ruined your liiiife!!” The boss whined forlornly.
“Well… we already knew about that also, so… “
Hyungnim squealed before slamming his face to Changmin's chest for the second time.
Changmin groaned loudly, “….HOW ABOUT GETTING YOU OFF OF ME!!??” Knowing it would lead to nowhere, he shoved the now-out-of-character boss towards the empty apartment room and prompted him to sit on the bed’s edge, trying to calm him down. The boss followed him obediently while hiccupping and rubbing his eyes, before breaking the news he already knew. “The police are on their way here…”
“I know. Donghae just informed me.”
“Then you should escape--”
“There’s no need, I don’t really care anyway...”
“STUPID!! you’re going to jaiiill!! Freaking jaiiill!!! JAAAIILLL!!!”
Changmin winced at the high frequency but had no choice but to accept the suddenly clingy behavior and made no move to dismiss the arms all over him. Instead, his eyes darted around to look for cold water to be splashed at the older guy. He rolled his eyes when couldn’t find any. “Ugh…. Regarding that, don’t you think you better go-“
“WHY!!??? Drag me with you!! Tell them all about your Hyungnim!!”
Changmin snickered, still in awe at how marvelous the alcohol’s effect was. Furthermore it was the first time he observed his boss’ facial features from such close distance, close enough to notice that he actually had cute eyes and adorable rows of teeth.
He brought his knuckles to knock lightly on the drunken boy’s forehead. “Your parents will find a way to release you anyway…” He crossed his arms over his chest. “…but I didn’t know you love me that much…” He teased.
“I LOVE YOU, STUPID!! YOU’RE MY ONLY FRIEND!!!”
“…. Oh.” Changmin thought his ears were playing trick on him. “Eh…? Excuse me…?”
Hyungnim answered with an awful “Booohooohooo” and flung himself on Changmin (again),
“...HAH!!??”
Changmin swore it was the second most shocking statement directed to him after Yoochun’s betrayal. A guy who treated him like diamond for 10 years suddenly told him that he sold him, while a guy who treated him like trash for almost a year suddenly told him that he loved him, how exactly the world works??
“FRIEND!!?? YOU BEAT YOUR FRIEND AND TURN HIM INTO ADDICT AND DEALER!!???”
“THAT’S WHY I SAID I’M SUCH A JACKASS WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAAAAAANNDD!!!??” Hyungnim released himself and started slapping Changmin’s face with both palms eagerly.
“Okay, okay I understand, so now…..YAH!! STOP DILATING MY FACE’S VEINS!!!. ”
Hyungnim stunned and shot him with the looks of a boy who just received his parents’ confession of ‘actually you’re not our real son’. “Sorry… I’m so sorry....” He coaxed. “I will make it up to you…”
“Oh yeah? How?” Changmin challenged amusedly.
Hyungnim looked down and clasped his palms before gazing at Changmin with genuine sparkling eyes, in which the younger’s need to puke emerged. “I’ll be your bestest buddy man, by the next time you cry again… I will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on!!”
“…. Honestly the mental image of elderly dancing in bikini was better than me crying on your shoulder…”
“Then… then…Then what should I dooooo???”
Changmin hummed for a moment before accidentally saw a pen and a piece of paper lying on the floor, turning on the idea bulb inside his head. He took them and scribbled something on the paper, which happened to be:
I, a nincompoop by the name of______________
Promised with my blood that for the rest of my life I will do as follows:
1. Feeding Shim Changmin nutritional foods.
2. Providing him a living place for free
3. Providing him his drawing needs
4. Entertaining him with oompa loompa dance in rugs and tri-colored wig whenever he’s down
My honor,
Finished scribbling, he splayed the paper in front of Hyungnim’s face. “Fill in the blank and sign this.” He commanded. The older boy gripped the paper obediently, frowning at the contract as if they were as serious as WHO’s clauses.
“………If… if I sign this, will you forgive me…?”
“Of course, I’m a man of compassion after all.”
Hyungnim took the pen and did as he told without complaining, while Changmin only grinned triumphantly and tried so hard, really hard, to fight back the urge to laugh like lunatic and ran rampant around the neighborhood screaming nonsense, especially when he read his boss previously confidential name and found it understandable that he made it secret. It was too cute for a gangsta’ wannabe.
“So that means I can call you with your name now.”
Hyungnim sighed almost too dramatically, twirling Changmin’s fingers in little girl’s friendship style. “You can even call me with my kindergarten nickname that had given me a childhood trauma….”
“Really? What is that?”
“Duckbutt.”
Holding back laughter was sometimes far more painful than constipation, really.
“Yeah… I suppose to go with that…” He bit his lips and glanced at the clock. Knowing what would happen next, he silently pulled his boss arms and dragged him towards the exit door.
“Changmiiiinnnn….”
“You should go. The police will be here soon.”
Hyungnim shook his head. “I don’t want this…. I don’t want you to go to jail….”
“I’m amazed that you made me sell drugs without thinking that in the end it’ll lead me to-“ Changmin stopped his words upon seeing water flooded from his boss’ eyes. “Okay okay, but honestly it’s not really a big deal for me….” He patted the soft hair and mentally giggled that he actually did it.
“Nooo…. Don’t wanna….”
Changmin wasn’t scared. The image of dark and scary cells, the image of him starving to death, awful looking big guys beating him or even harassing him, he wasn’t scared of them one bit. He had it worse.
He wiped the tears from the crying boy’s cheek, the first person who declared friendship and love towards him, the same person who destroyed his life. World works in a bizarre way.
“Hurry up, Junsu.”
*
*
*
Changmin came home at night, body freezing from the heavy rain and mouth sore from faking too much brotherly laugh, to find Junsu sprawled lifelessly on his stomach, topless and dominating the bed, snoring lightly. He rolled his eyes with hand on the waist seeing a certain butt sticking out.
“Geez, duckbutt… you’ll catch a cold.” He fumbled Junsu’s bag for a sweater but couldn’t find any. Instead, a wrapped box was accidentally slipped out from it. He frowned and read the card stuck on the box.
Happy birthday.
Now that you’re 20, go find a settled relationship and give me a break.
Changmin unconsciously grinned reading the message. His birthday was coming in few hours and Junsu had prepared him a gift while he didn't even remember the date.
He carefully inserted it back to the bag, decided to pretend not knowing, and approached Junsu to fix his messy limbs position. Nothing he could do to shift that heavy butt though, so he guessed he had to deal with the small space on the bed's edge to sleep.
He pulled the blanket over Junsu, causing him to mumble incoherently, “Dickhead that cheesecakebbrsaudhsudfd…. Mine..brgtrgtgb….”
Changmin’s eyes softened. “Hey.” He rested a hand on Junsu's head.”Thanks for… everything.”
{TO BE CONTINUED}
A/N: sorry for the lack of Jaemin, but the storry couldn't go on before Changmin's past was revealed, and it happened to be quite long already hehehehe... xD Part B will be up in a couple of days xD
Pairing: Jaemin (main)
Warnings: language, drugs, Minsu fluff alert (for this chapter)
Rating: PG-13 to R, PG-13 for this chapter
Summary: The two boys were childhood friend.
A/N: sorry for the late update, and thanks for all the comments!! xD
PART7A
“I see a crying Mama’s boy.” A boy whom everyone called ‘Hyungnim’ poked Changmin’s temple with his feet, hard enough to wobble him aside but not enough to induce harm towards anything but a pride. However, such luxury called dignity was something that Changmin had learned to let go during the past months, thanks to the constant humiliation and sarcasm he had been receiving from the young drug dealer who kept his real name confidential. The expensive shoe could always make its way to his head or face, to show Changmin superiority rather than actually hurt him. Either that or the petulant boy just needed a game, and apparently making other boys grew desperate towards something that only he could provide, and made those boys his underlings in exchange, was definitely his favorite game.
Changmin groaned, he hated it when the boss caught him remembering something from the past. “Just make it straight, where’s my job.” He brushed his arm against his eyes, wiping the trace of tears to avoid his boss from mocking him even more. He was no longer cowering, only a plain hatred and annoyance being displayed.
“Whoa, slow down… you need sniffs that soon?” Hyungnim, who obviously not in legal age to drink, took a sip from his can of beer and burped before leaning his back against the big brick wall and stripping Changmin with the underestimating look the boy had grew accustomed of. “Men don’t cry, dickhead.”
“They just won’t stop.”
“Then you better go back to Hyukjae’s place, I’ll inform him you need a fuck or two. I guarantee you’ll stop… oh wait. Or maybe you’ll cry harder for more-”
“Fuck you.”
Hyungnim scoffed and swung his feet towards Changmin’s direction, threatened him a kick. “Omo, where’s that cute little boy muttered ‘Yoochun-hyung don’t do this to me’ in his afternoon nap?”
“I've told you not to mention his name!” Changmin got up and gripped the older guy’s collar, slamming him hard to the wall. Without even grimacing, Hyungnim threw his spilled beer can aside and pulled a handful of hair on the back of Changmin’s head. His eyes narrowed as he reduced the distance between them.
“No one give me orders." He landed a punch on Changmin's jaw, causing the weaker boy to lose balance and fell on the ground, wincing in pain. To fulfill the satisfaction, he sauntered towards him and was about to step hard on the neglected knee before the boy dodged aside and quickly got up, pouncing all of his body weight and dragged the drug dealer to the ground, straddling him between his knees and gave him a nice knuckle on the cheek before got smacked on the side and landed on his back. Hyungnim dropped himself on top of the younger guy, both groaned and grunted as they rolled and battled against each other for dominance until the older boy finally won over his underling and celebrate his victory by nudging feet over and over to the limp head.
Changmin gasped desperately for air, face flushed, sweat trickled and eyes watered in anger and shattered pride whilst his boss dusted the dirt from his own shirt, steadying his breath rhythm and massaged his bluish cheek bone before snorted and tossed a plastic bag near the loser's feet. His eyes were distasteful.
"Don't cry. Laugh it out, go make fun of other people's life."
Brushing his eyes for one last time, the younger guy got up and shoved the plastic into his pocket.
“Exactly what I’m about to do now.” He grunted cynically.
Changmin had lost count on how long being the working dog of a drug dealer had became the only way he could live his life. Back in that huge mansion he used to live in, never once he imagined his life would change drastically. At first, Hyungnim gave him heroin for free, much to Changmin's pleasure the magic substance could make him forget all the games life had pulled out of him. The drug dealer also dropped him food and money which the boy shamelessly savored in order to survive without bothering the humiliating remarks and attitude, and gave him shelter, a small apartment room inhabited by an ecstasy addict named Hyukjae, and therefore making them roommates. Hyukjae was disowned by his family because he preferred sex that included shoving things from the back rather than front, and almost assigned his self to any sex deprived gay businessman as a job before Hyungnim found him and offered him a better and definitely more pleasuring job. Unlike Changmin, the blonde boy seemingly enjoyed screwing his life.
“You got money, you got food, you got high, you got different holes to try everyday without having your parents pissing at your face.” Hyukjae reasoned. And honestly Changmin had been too accustomed with the scenery of his roommate inappropriately battling and riding naked boys on the bed he supposed to sleep at, so well that he could even eat Jajangmyeon while listening to Hyukjae’s moans and whoever’s plea of ‘oh Hyung deeper harder’. At first he was certainly freaked out, pale, escaped, and other trauma manifestations you name the rest, before he ended up finding himself naked on the bed with an equally naked fellow underling named Donghae, after the last party they had with some pills stolen from Hyukjae’s drawer. (In which Hyukjae furiously screamed, “You stole my boy and my X!! No bed for you tonight! And you, you gonna regret it Dong-fish, I’ll fuck you till you rip and bleed and too weak to even wipe your cum afterwards” - And Donghae only smirked joyously, “I’ll be looking forward to that”).
Gradually, sex became something so natural for him that he couldn’t even look at it as more than the friction of two meats (plus some slimy substances came in handy). Sometimes the girls or boys he delivered drugs for suddenly pulled him into corner and willingly offered him (or asked him) services, which he rarely refused. It feels good anyway, he thought. He felt like storming his anger and desperation as well as revenge towards the memory of Yoochun violating him, that he ended up doing it roughly and mercilessly, which surprisingly making those boys grew addicted and asked for more. The last time a fellow underling named Taemin ferociously gave him a headjob, Hyukjae shrieked on how lucky he was because every non-frigid gay guy wanted a dip of the Lee Taemin, but Changmin only shrugged and yawned. Sex never interested him that much outside from few minutes before he climaxed.
"It doesn't make sense how everyone bowed to him like loyal dogs, he's just as a snotty little kid as most of us." Changmin fumed one day, and received snickers from Donghae as a reply.
"Then why do you stay? We're on the same boat."
He needed a place to stay, he needed money, he needed heroin, Hyungnim provided those, and apparently they were just teens with messy life that refused to think outside the box.
Shuffling his feet lazily to the destined transaction place, Changmin mused, remembering what other drug addicts once said about their relentless boss.
"He's filthy rich, you know? His family got influences."
"He's immune to law. Killing people won't even drag him to jail."
"You know what the funny part is? He’s just a highschool boy. And he got some ranks."
“He won’t hurt you as long as you succumb to him. Why it’s so hard to do it? It’s for your own good.”
After one or two bus rides (and some lost directions in between) Changmin arrived at the front gate of a private all girls high school, scanning the rush of female students for the one described as 'a wavy haired beauty with heart patterned red ribbon on her head'. Changmin got the transaction addresses; clients contact number as well as the illegal items from Hyungnim, for clients and few for him as a bribe. Then he must store a certain amount of money to his boss and could have the rest, depending on his bargaining ability, in which Hyungnim often labeled as ‘below sucks’.
It wasn't long until the previously described girl appeared from within the crowds, darting her gaze right and left for her business partner. Changmin approached her with a faked warm smile on his face, pat her shoulder and caused the girl to jolt, couldn't hide the fear of being witnessed buying drugs by her surroundings.
"Hey!! long time no see. You look great." He acted as if they were acquaintance. The girl instantly grasped what the boy was aiming at and nodded nervously. "T-thanks... You look great too."
What an amateur.
Changmin decided not to lure the homey looking client any longer let alone having fun with her, and ended the meeting before everything got worse. Transaction started as soon as they found a quiet place, and it appeared that the girl offered him more money than he asked, so long and tiring bargaining wasn't needed.
However, that day's amusement began when he passed a certain park on the way home and witnessed a familiar figure warped in school uniform.
It was his boss.
Hyungnim always took off his suit and left the white shirt underneath unbuttoned to accelerate his bad boy looks whenever he checked the gathering spot of his underlings. Changmin doubted that many underlings had seen their boss with his complete set of uniform, and wondered whether they would laughed their asses off, cooed, booed, or simply fainted. In a positive way: clad president, in a negative way: video game lover high school nerd. His asymmetrical bang was combed aside, that's why.
Scooting to a grove of bushes, Changmin decided to cautiously spy the scene, because there his boss was standing and about 1 meter in front of him, voilà, a girl. Mischievous grin settled on Changmin's face.
“I will continue my study in America tomorrow, my family wants it.” the girl looked down, twirling the hem of her shirt.
Changmin was almost plopped on his ass when he heard his boss responded the fidgeting girl in such gentlemanly manner he thought would never come from the likes of him, “Oh… that's good for you." His voice was feathery, his eyes were brotherly.
“Oppa.." The girl took a deep breath. "I… I… I love you so much."
Changmin mentally cackled.
“Taeyeon..."
“No, that’s okay. I know you can never love me.”
“I’m so sorry…” Hyungnim touch the girl's shoulder and stroked it comfortingly.
“Oppa, I know this is too much, but… but... I want to remember everything about you, can you... Can you..."
Changmin felt like watching a Japanese drama. He held his breath, not wanting to ruin the perfect scene he was enjoying.
The girl wavered. “C-Can you kiss me? And I promise this will be the last time you see me…”
The underling jawdropped upon seeing the so called relentless boss circled one arm around the girl's shoulder, gently pulled her closer and placed a peck on her cheek. Changmin rocked back and forth, palm on his face fighting back laughter from spoiling the sweet air. It had been a while since he found something so entertaining. Even sex with Kyuhyun wasn't that amusing.
“Oppa… I love you so much…” the girl cried, buried her face deeper on Hyungnim's chest.
Hyungnim stroked her head lovingly and whispered to her ear, “Thank you, Taeyeonnie…”
Changmin kept spying the scene with a grin spread from one ear to another until the girl ran away, leaving Hyungnim alone in the quiet park, ruffling his hair and sighed before spinning around to find Changmin's bland face. A surprise looks crossed his face briefly before he replaced it with the stoic one- that is, before the impudent underling displayed a nasty scrunching face, eyebrows knitted and lips pursed.
“Oppa… I love you so much.” He mimicked the way Taeyeon confessed to his boss.
Speechless and blushed, the drug dealer could only mutter ‘Damn it’.
“Thank you Changminnie.” Changmin continued, his voice was even more dramatic.
Hyungnim clenched his teeth and walked past the boy. “Shut the fuck up dickhead.”
Changmin tailed the older boy, bouncing and yapping “I want a kiss on the cheek too.”, kind of surprised that his boss didn’t land a feet on his face as a reply. He assumed that the previous girl truly bothered him that he momentarily lost all those habits of being violent.
[After one hour…]
“Taeyeon is such a nice name.”
“WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!!??” Hyungnim thumped the table’s surface, causing his French fries to spill from the plate and could do nothing when Changmin snatched one of them. None of the two cared about their surrounding’s disturbed look towards the commotion.
“I’m lonely you know…” Changmin purred, munching the heavenly crispiness.
“And how’s that become one of my businesses? Just go, anywhere, go high, fuck someone, LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
“You told me to make fun of other people’s life…”
“ANYONE ELSE’S BUT MINE!!!”
“Well you didn’t tell me beforehand, now it’s too late…” Changmin shrugged and stopped munching French fries to observe his boss’ disgruntled look.
“What’s with that face.”
“I’m amazed you’re doing nothing physically abusing to shoo me away.”
“If you want it so much I’ll give you later, right now I’m just not in the mood to soil my extremities with your germs.”
“So, back to the girl.” Changmin stole more fries. Hyungnim groaned.
“Did she know you take drugs?"
“Of course not, I'm a respected student."
"Whoa. I thought addicts must have screwed their sanity."
"I'm not an addict. Yet."
Changmin formed an ‘o’ with his mouth, thinking that on the contrary to his temper, his boss must be someone with excellent self control. He was about to ask something when a waiter came bringing his chocolate milk. He slurped it blissfully and tilted to his boss, “You’ll pay for this, right.” Hyungnim dropped his forehead to the hard table surface, muttering curses.
“By the way I never know why you’re doing all these things… they said you have no problems with money.”
Hyungnim slammed some pieces of cashes, cost more than a plate of French fries and a cup of chocolate milk. He snorted and left. But of course, Changmin wasn’t ready to lose all the fun.
“Do the others know how sweet you can be? Kiss a brokenhearted girl to ease her from the pain of rejection?”
The bait was enough to make his boss turned around, unable to hide his horrid looks. “Oh, they don’t know.” Changmin stated, smirking wide.
“Listen kid, don’t make me use a fork to pick your eyeballs out.”
“Where are you going after this?” Ignoring the threat, Changmin dared to walk right next to his boss. He even deliberately joined in when his boss stopped a cab and stepped inside.
“NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!!??” Hyungnim quickly shot an apologetic looks towards the poor taxi driver which earned a joyous grin from Changmin.
“I want to introduce myself to your family…”
“YOU’RE NOT MY GODDAMN FIANCEE!!”
“Still want to know your family.” Changmin slumped against the comfortable car seat. “Don’t worry I won’t tell them anything.”
“Then what do you want?”
“Like I said, I’m lonely and bored.”
“Oh nice, and it’s my responsibility to entertain you, oh great.” Hyungnim rolled his eyes. Changmin was actually trying to push his temper, wanting to know how far he could go before the boy stepped him on the brain. He waited, but unlike usual, his boss did nothing more than grunts and complaints, seemed like the previous girl wasn’t just a mere junior that it bugged him so much.
After about an hour of silence in the car, they arrived in front of a big white gate with carvings decorating the surface. Changmin’s eyes bulged wide upon seeing the gate’s enormous size and the big angel statues on either side of it.
“Omo… I thought something like this… only appeared in drama…”
Before he managed to comment further, the gate opened, causing him to flinch in surprise. A man with black suit greeted them with a black shiny limo beside him. He informed something about the driver who was looking for his young master while the said master preferred to ride a taxi.
“We haven’t reached your house yet??”
Hyungnim didn’t respond towards all those amazements. He proceeded to the car, sulking. Changmin shamelessly joined him after whining, “Hyungnim, don’t leave meee~~~”
In few minutes (which Changmin spent by darting eyes in awe outside the window) they arrived in front of a gigantic European styled house (Changmin again blabbered, “I only saw this kind of house in the world history textbook!") A maid opened the big door, smiling freshly at the boys. “You rarely bring your friend over, young master.”
“This kitten won’t stop following me, Noona.”
Changmin grinned sheepishly at the maid, suppressing squeal that he called him 'kitten' and called the maid 'noona' without realizing how cute those were. He used to have few maids too in Yoochun’s residence, but he called them with name. Guess this boss had more surprises under his sleeve.
“Anything I can prepare for your meal? Or maybe a warm bath?” the maid offered.
“No thanks, I’ll go straight to my room.”
The hall seemed endless as they headed towards the said room. Hyungnim walked in quick pace and Changmin followed him behind while watching the paintings lined along the wallpaper covered wall in fascination.
“You painted these?” he asked.
“My twin did.”
“You have a twin!?”
“Yeah. But he’s dead.”
“Oh.” Changmin paused. Something nudged the corner of his mind. Why did he felt like it wasn't the first time he dealt with someone whose brother was dead? “You must be lonely.” He commented spontaneously.
“Of course.”
Changmin rather surprised that the acknowledgement slipped out so easily. Guess his boss was really out of his mind that day.
“Your twin loved to paint?”
“Yes.”
“Me too.”
Hyungnim turned around to look at him, frowning at the purposeless information. He was about to say something insulting, but ended up sighed and shrugged. “…. You can take my properties then.” He halted in front of a certain door, opened it and entered. Changmin immediately stormed in to express fascination towards every aspect of the luxurious room, ignoring his boss who was still holding the door knob and making it seemed like he opened the door for him.
“Sooo… considering from your reaction, that girl wasn’t just a mere girl.”
“WHO GIVES YOU PERMISSION TO BOUNCE ON MY BED LIKE THAT!!??”
Changmin stopped bouncing on the spring bed but made no effort to get up. “Let me guess, actually you loved her but…”
Hyungnim groaned, but finally answered “My brother loved her. Like crazy. She didn’t know.”
“…Oh.”
“Listen, you should be grateful that I’m feeling kinda sore now, but don’t expect me to stay still towards your insolence tomorrow. I won’t mind breaking some bones, understand?”
Changmin grinned. “Understand, Hyungnim.” He continued to glance around and laid his eyes on some painting utilities lined up neatly on the corner of the room.
“How about taking those with you and leave?" Hyungnim offered, voice dripping in sarcasm.
“How about drawing something together?”
“The hell I would.” The boss dropped his school bag onto the floor. "How about you use those as you like and keep your mouth shut while I'm doing what I have to do?“ He fumbled the content of his bag and took out a book and a pencil case.
"Is that sketching a strategy map to conquer the world?"
Hyungnim scoffed. Changmin annoyed him on purpose but agreed at the suggestion nonetheless. He started to pick some tubes from the box and flipping canvases, choosing one with suitable size. He sat on a chair in front of the canvas while his boss sighed in relief and sat before his study desk, flipping the pages of his textbook. They had their backs against each other in about 3 meters radius. Silence occupied the room for a moment before...
"Hyungnim?"
"What."
"I can't find the oil."
"It's on the bed drawer."
Changmin dragged his chair, causing a teeth aching scratching sound. Hyungnim winced and groaned. When silence returned, he sighed and was about to continue the reading task, but…
"Hyungnim?"
"What again!?"
"Why there's no blue?"
"How the hell do I suppose to know?
"Oh, it's here."
The poor scholar dropped his forehead onto the table, clutching his book that it wrinkled. "Let me concentrate, I have homework to do!!" he admitted shamelessly as his delinquent enigma shattered into pieces.
Again, something nudged Changmin's mind. Like a Deja-vu, he felt someone also scolded him once about the homework issue and it definitely wasn't Yoochun.
Silence returned.
"Hyungnim?"
This time Hyungnim ignored him, so Changmin tiptoed towards him and poked his shoulder, causing the older guy to spin furiously and exploded, "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"
"I can't open the cap." Changmin innocently showed his boss the blue paint tube with dried paint covering the base of the cap. To his amusement, Hyungnim roughly snatched the tube and spun the cap in one angry move, scoffed and shoved it back to Changmin's hand. "THERE!!" he snapped.
Now that no problems left, Changmin started to practice his old hobby, stroking colors on the white surface while humming a cheerful tune. Surprisingly Hyungnim didn't comment anything about him humming. Probably my voice isn't that bad, Changmin thought. Little did he know, in fact his boss was pulling hair to random directions.
"Dickhead… open that drawer beside you.” Hyungnim finally spoke after Changmin finished a chorus or two. Changmin did as he told. He found some tiny pills inside a clear bottle. “Try that.” Hyungnim offered.
“What’s this?”
“Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, LSD, acid. Hallucinogen.”
“Uh… I don’t want to be addicted to too much stuff you know…”
“It makes you seeing things. Some people said it’ll just show you meaningless trips, but some said you might see the summaries of your life in a way and make your deepest memories surface, probably in a twisted way.” Hyungnim chuckled seeing his underling’s eyes widened. “… Rings a bell?” he leant forward and glared a challenging look. He never knew much about Changmin’s life, nor he cared, but he knew the boy had issues in two words: ‘memory’ and ‘Yoochun’. Still, those blabbering under the influence of drugs and alcohol didn’t explain enough of anything. “Try it. Put it on your tongue.” He persuaded.
The hesitated looks on the younger’s eyes disappeared and he did exactly what his boss said. Hyungnim continued his study, knowing that Changmin would definitely becoming mute for the next few hours. And he did.
It wasn’t long before stinging eyes and exhaustion defeated the Richie rich that he fell asleep on top of his textbook, forgetting the younger boy who was right behind him.
Past midnight, he woke up due to the aching neck and decided to sprawl onto the bed instead. He noticed that Changmin was still drawing.
“Gosh, you haven’t finished?”
Receiving nothing as reply, he sauntered towards the painter and let out a weak gasp of amazement that Changmin was still drawing under the influence of acid. He took a seat next to the boy, shifting his eyes from the canvas to Changmin’s face and back to canvas, checking if there was any expression change due to certain strokes, only to find that there wasn’t any. Observing unusual behavior was also one of his hobbies, nonetheless.
“Honestly you’re not bad. Make that your job after I quit using you.” Hyungnim yawned, looking at the clock. “Just don’t leave me any mess tomorrow.” He plopped onto his bouncy bed and felt asleep.
The drug dealer spent the next morning to shout at Changmin, telling him to stop crying inside his bathroom, get out and have an injection instead. On the floor was a discontinued painting, a silhouette of a wavy haired man feeding his dog was destroyed by some furious black strokes.
*
*
Changmin sat in front of his latest drawn painting, index finger and thumb idly rubbed his chin, eyebrows knitted, one hand scratching his head and sighed in annoyance once in every few minutes. The latest trip he had remained vague in his memory; it frustrated him that he had drawn a completely unrelated matter than what he managed to recall.
His lips still taste a warm salty tear, his body felt thin arms wrapped around him, the smooth surface of straight hair remained on his palm, before the feel of Yoochun all over his body interfered, disconnecting him from those feeling. In the end the painting was a winged little angel praying in front of a cemetery, and it tortured him to configure the meaning.
He squirmed in anxiety and grabbed the previous drawing he made in unconsciousness, comparing it with the latest one. The first painting was a little boy squatting next to a water tap, holding a dirty ragged shoe with one hand and a brush with the other hand. The scene felt familiar even after he recovered from the drug influence, and when he thought he had regained something, the next painting that supposed to help him integrate the puzzles was confusing him even more.
The first time he tried LSD, he saw Yoochun. As clear as crystal. He saw the person he loved most in the world, his working room, his bedroom, his dog. He felt his warmth and his scent, he heard his husky singing voice and greasy words and actually experience those moments all over again - those hugs, those kisses, and even those horrible pains. The boy desperately needed his beloved stepbrother that much, that he attempted his second acid trip just to see and feel his beloved person, even though he had to bear the pain in the end.
Unfortunately his second trip was completely different than what he expected. He found himself in a familiar room that wasn't Yoochun's, walking towards the door and opened it to have a little boy whom face he couldn’t see pulled him into tight embrace. He saw the boy’s back as he stormed into the room before everything changed, colors sapped through his vision, the image of Yoochun occurred.
He knew that Yoochun had lied to him about his past, and now he realized that he had lost something important because of that. It bugged him how he couldn’t control what he saw and what he drew, and how the vision of Yoochun always harassed him in every trip and discontinued him from remembering anything. Surely there were things that overlapping inside his head and he was dying to disentangle the threads.
“I think the wings part lack shadowy effect…”
And it was harder due to a certain Richie rich right next to him.
“Could you please shut up!? I’m thinking about something!” Changmin complained.
Hyungnim grabbed a cooking spatula sized paint brush and smacked it to Changmin’s head, earning a loud ‘Ouch’ from the younger boy. “Fuck you. I’m this place’s owner, I can do whatever I want.” Letting out a nonchalant sigh, he got up and grabbed one of the paintings Changmin had drawn. “I’m going home.”
From the bed edge, Hyukjae could only shook his head watching their boss heading towards the exit and slammed the door shut. “He’s one weird dude.”
“He freaking came to steal my work. And this isn’t the first time.”
“But it’s so unlike him to come all the way here just for that.”
Changmin only scoffed, feeling relieved that at least Hykjae would be quiet as long as he didn’t do sex.
Few months passed ever since Changmin got obsessed with his acid induced hallucination. His craving for two substances at once was dangerous, watching withdrawal symptoms got into some of his mates made him realize that. Still, he needed to dig his memories so bad that he preferred those bad and failed acid trips over heroin’s euphoria. It scared him whenever he noticed that the usual dose no longer worked. The craving tortured his body, but at the same time those paintings he drew gave him hope, made him believe that he had a destination to go. That there was a life out there waiting for him, outside the one that Yoochun had destroyed. He ignored the fact that drugs could completely destroy him even before he reached that destination.
It was one afternoon, in the midst of the increasing addiction, when he heard the news. It spread like fires among the group that Hyukjae got caught in a club and polices were on their way to dissect the drug dealing web. The boys mourned at how Hyungnim would get away easily with his family’s influence and all, while there was no escape for them. Some of them ran, some of them passively wept and some didn’t even care. Apparently Changmin belonged to the last.
He turned his cell phone off after reading text message from Donghae that the police would be on his place in less than half an hour. He didn’t know why, but as much as it feared him that he wouldn’t be able to take LSD inside jail, his sane logic told him that maybe it was for the best. He was about to take a nap when someone knocked the door loudly.
He thought it was the police, so he shuffled lazily towards the entrance and opened the door. Unexpectedly it was his boss, sorrow drawn all over his face.
“Hyungni--” The words were cut off when the mighty boss suddenly flung himself towards his chest, causing him to gawk before stepping backward. “Who-whoa!! You freak me out, man!!” He shrieked.
“I’m such a jackaaaass!!”
Changmin’s mouth hung opened at the abrupt recognition. Half dazed, he pushed the older guy away but the limp body stuck to him like glue. “Uhm.. you never not one honestly……… oh. You drunk.” He stated the obvious, sniffing the smell radiating from his boss.
Staring with disgruntled look, Hyungnim shook Changmin’s shoulder vigorously, causing the younger to step back a bit to maintain balance. “It’s all my faaaault!!! I’ve ruined your liiiife!!” The boss whined forlornly.
“Well… we already knew about that also, so… “
Hyungnim squealed before slamming his face to Changmin's chest for the second time.
Changmin groaned loudly, “….HOW ABOUT GETTING YOU OFF OF ME!!??” Knowing it would lead to nowhere, he shoved the now-out-of-character boss towards the empty apartment room and prompted him to sit on the bed’s edge, trying to calm him down. The boss followed him obediently while hiccupping and rubbing his eyes, before breaking the news he already knew. “The police are on their way here…”
“I know. Donghae just informed me.”
“Then you should escape--”
“There’s no need, I don’t really care anyway...”
“STUPID!! you’re going to jaiiill!! Freaking jaiiill!!! JAAAIILLL!!!”
Changmin winced at the high frequency but had no choice but to accept the suddenly clingy behavior and made no move to dismiss the arms all over him. Instead, his eyes darted around to look for cold water to be splashed at the older guy. He rolled his eyes when couldn’t find any. “Ugh…. Regarding that, don’t you think you better go-“
“WHY!!??? Drag me with you!! Tell them all about your Hyungnim!!”
Changmin snickered, still in awe at how marvelous the alcohol’s effect was. Furthermore it was the first time he observed his boss’ facial features from such close distance, close enough to notice that he actually had cute eyes and adorable rows of teeth.
He brought his knuckles to knock lightly on the drunken boy’s forehead. “Your parents will find a way to release you anyway…” He crossed his arms over his chest. “…but I didn’t know you love me that much…” He teased.
“I LOVE YOU, STUPID!! YOU’RE MY ONLY FRIEND!!!”
“…. Oh.” Changmin thought his ears were playing trick on him. “Eh…? Excuse me…?”
Hyungnim answered with an awful “Booohooohooo” and flung himself on Changmin (again),
“...HAH!!??”
Changmin swore it was the second most shocking statement directed to him after Yoochun’s betrayal. A guy who treated him like diamond for 10 years suddenly told him that he sold him, while a guy who treated him like trash for almost a year suddenly told him that he loved him, how exactly the world works??
“FRIEND!!?? YOU BEAT YOUR FRIEND AND TURN HIM INTO ADDICT AND DEALER!!???”
“THAT’S WHY I SAID I’M SUCH A JACKASS WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAAAAAANNDD!!!??” Hyungnim released himself and started slapping Changmin’s face with both palms eagerly.
“Okay, okay I understand, so now…..YAH!! STOP DILATING MY FACE’S VEINS!!!. ”
Hyungnim stunned and shot him with the looks of a boy who just received his parents’ confession of ‘actually you’re not our real son’. “Sorry… I’m so sorry....” He coaxed. “I will make it up to you…”
“Oh yeah? How?” Changmin challenged amusedly.
Hyungnim looked down and clasped his palms before gazing at Changmin with genuine sparkling eyes, in which the younger’s need to puke emerged. “I’ll be your bestest buddy man, by the next time you cry again… I will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on!!”
“…. Honestly the mental image of elderly dancing in bikini was better than me crying on your shoulder…”
“Then… then…Then what should I dooooo???”
Changmin hummed for a moment before accidentally saw a pen and a piece of paper lying on the floor, turning on the idea bulb inside his head. He took them and scribbled something on the paper, which happened to be:
I, a nincompoop by the name of______________
Promised with my blood that for the rest of my life I will do as follows:
1. Feeding Shim Changmin nutritional foods.
2. Providing him a living place for free
3. Providing him his drawing needs
4. Entertaining him with oompa loompa dance in rugs and tri-colored wig whenever he’s down
My honor,
Finished scribbling, he splayed the paper in front of Hyungnim’s face. “Fill in the blank and sign this.” He commanded. The older boy gripped the paper obediently, frowning at the contract as if they were as serious as WHO’s clauses.
“………If… if I sign this, will you forgive me…?”
“Of course, I’m a man of compassion after all.”
Hyungnim took the pen and did as he told without complaining, while Changmin only grinned triumphantly and tried so hard, really hard, to fight back the urge to laugh like lunatic and ran rampant around the neighborhood screaming nonsense, especially when he read his boss previously confidential name and found it understandable that he made it secret. It was too cute for a gangsta’ wannabe.
“So that means I can call you with your name now.”
Hyungnim sighed almost too dramatically, twirling Changmin’s fingers in little girl’s friendship style. “You can even call me with my kindergarten nickname that had given me a childhood trauma….”
“Really? What is that?”
“Duckbutt.”
Holding back laughter was sometimes far more painful than constipation, really.
“Yeah… I suppose to go with that…” He bit his lips and glanced at the clock. Knowing what would happen next, he silently pulled his boss arms and dragged him towards the exit door.
“Changmiiiinnnn….”
“You should go. The police will be here soon.”
Hyungnim shook his head. “I don’t want this…. I don’t want you to go to jail….”
“I’m amazed that you made me sell drugs without thinking that in the end it’ll lead me to-“ Changmin stopped his words upon seeing water flooded from his boss’ eyes. “Okay okay, but honestly it’s not really a big deal for me….” He patted the soft hair and mentally giggled that he actually did it.
“Nooo…. Don’t wanna….”
Changmin wasn’t scared. The image of dark and scary cells, the image of him starving to death, awful looking big guys beating him or even harassing him, he wasn’t scared of them one bit. He had it worse.
He wiped the tears from the crying boy’s cheek, the first person who declared friendship and love towards him, the same person who destroyed his life. World works in a bizarre way.
“Hurry up, Junsu.”
*
*
*
Changmin came home at night, body freezing from the heavy rain and mouth sore from faking too much brotherly laugh, to find Junsu sprawled lifelessly on his stomach, topless and dominating the bed, snoring lightly. He rolled his eyes with hand on the waist seeing a certain butt sticking out.
“Geez, duckbutt… you’ll catch a cold.” He fumbled Junsu’s bag for a sweater but couldn’t find any. Instead, a wrapped box was accidentally slipped out from it. He frowned and read the card stuck on the box.
Happy birthday.
Now that you’re 20, go find a settled relationship and give me a break.
Changmin unconsciously grinned reading the message. His birthday was coming in few hours and Junsu had prepared him a gift while he didn't even remember the date.
He carefully inserted it back to the bag, decided to pretend not knowing, and approached Junsu to fix his messy limbs position. Nothing he could do to shift that heavy butt though, so he guessed he had to deal with the small space on the bed's edge to sleep.
He pulled the blanket over Junsu, causing him to mumble incoherently, “Dickhead that cheesecakebbrsaudhsudfd…. Mine..brgtrgtgb….”
Changmin’s eyes softened. “Hey.” He rested a hand on Junsu's head.”Thanks for… everything.”
{TO BE CONTINUED}
A/N: sorry for the lack of Jaemin, but the storry couldn't go on before Changmin's past was revealed, and it happened to be quite long already hehehehe... xD Part B will be up in a couple of days xD