Title: Scut Hamsters
Pairing: Jaemin, Jaechun
Rating: PG-13 to R
Warning: a little bit WTFs in the latter chapters
Summary: Just another campus life story
Chapter 14
Thursday night.
“So, Yoochun Hyung will be here by next week?” Changmin asks as he scribbles some notes down while occasionally fixing the position of his glasses, being a hard worker like he always is whereas I’ve been switching task randomly from lying loosely on the bed to sitting idly on the chair, being dysfunctional.
“Can be as soon as that, he said. So I’m not sure.” I answer.
“I see… should I move my things by now, then?”
I swivel my chair around just to find him being too busy with his book to even talk attentively. I sigh. During this short time I’ve become accustomed with his presence so much that his question feels somewhat off. “No need to rush, Yoochun isn’t even sure whether there will be a new rotation or not.”
“If it’s next week he can go with forensic or internal medicine, the same as me. Or ophthalmology… many departments start the rotations, actually.”
“Ah, I forgot your finals are tomorrow. Good luck then.”
Suddenly being curious at the thing that stoles his concentration so much, I drag my chair to his side. Apparently he’s been reading pages about decomposing stages, completed with the illustrations. I ‘eew’ at the horrible photos of mutilated body parts and snatch his book, flipping the pages to a more enjoyable picture (of bullets with various sizes) and place it back in front of him.
Giggling at the purposeless disturbance, he asks, “It’s still a long time in surgery, isn’t it?” It seems like he senses my attention-deprivation state.
“Still about a month, why?”
“It’s…” He pauses. “That resident Siwon…”
“Is that because you have two sisters?” I lean on his shoulder, acting all spoiled just because I feel like it. His shoulders always feel so comfortable -actually all of his body parts are. But somehow I just realize that now.
“… what do you mean?”
“Your excessive, unreasonable anxiety.”
He frowns in disapprove, and quickly gets my finger on the middle of his glasses to drop the topic.
“Fine, I’ll be careful.” I affirm.
He smiles and begins another attempt to read the forensic textbook.
“So, Kibum has returned to your old room?” I start another topic.
“Yeah, his temporary room has three people in it so he was kind of hurried.”
I nod with an ‘Ooo’ before asking again, “How’s your mother?”
“Umma? She’s okay, kind of losing weight lately. Why?”
Apparently he’s good at multitasking. His eyes are fixed to that same boring book while answering.
“Just want to know. Your sisters?”
“One of them has a lover now.”
“Ooh, nice. Do you have a lover?”
“Hyung?”
“Yep?”
“Is there something wrong?” He asks in concern.
If he didn’t ask that question I probably wouldn’t realize that I’ve been leaning deeper on him to the point where he almost casted aside from his own table.
“I’m so boooored…” I whine finally, slamming my head onto his biceps like a retard.
He giggles while doing no attempt to stop me (nor tearing his gaze away from the book). “Won’t you have a mini test this Monday?”
“Yes yes, but I’m sick of books.”
The same arm that I’m weighing on flexes to brush the bangs covering the side of my face. “Are you feeling giddy because Yoochun is coming?”
Ah. Maybe he’s right. I’m excited that Yoochun is coming while Changmin can’t keep up with the hype of my bio-energy. I guess that’s because he lacks night nutrition.
“I rarely see you eat lately, why?” I straighten my back and scan his face for a sign of weight loss.
"Hmm... because of the finals I'm not doing anything to get money these days, so..."
"So you don't eat??"
"No no, just skipping dinner to save a little... But then it will also flatten your tummy you know."
Scoffing at his lame reason, I go to the closet to get change, wearing proper jeans and jacket. Also, take some cashes and shove a cell phone into my pocket. (Just because I’ve learned that Changmin would go frantic if I didn’t bring the phone)
“Where are you going?” Changmin asks right when I’m before the door.
"You're already too flat to begin with. I'll go buy you snacks."
"Eeeh?? No-no-no Hyung you don’t--"
I’m already dashing my way out to hear the rest of his complains.
*
*
Walking alone, mantled by the night breeze and have a convenient store (better if it’s 7eleven) greets me with its white brightness is always one of my hobbies. Luckily I’ve forgotten that spooky cover of One Miscall (Changmin really knows how to make it out of my vision field) or else I can no more enjoy the night-walk.
Anyway, finals are sucks.
I feel so bored because Changmin has been glued to his books all day long, completely ignoring me. Honestly I want us to watch something together (come to think of it, we haven’t had a chance to do it), even just using a laptop. Something like South Park or The Simpsons. I wonder if Changmin’s brain is fast enough to understand their jokes. Would he consider the scene of a kid burned self with a fart gas as funny?
Thinking about Changmin’s possible preferences, I stroll along the display rack of the stores, picking random soda, bread, chips and milk before quickly head to the cashier.
Finish with the payment, I get out of the store in a rather fast pace, wanting to be home as soon as possible. However, just after few steps a voice I recognize calls my name, causing me to halt and glance around.
"Wow, what a good luck I have tonight."
It’s Siwon, waving his hands lightly.
Seems like he has just finished from the store as well; wonder why I didn’t see him. Anyway, I begin to think that he’s somewhat a bat since he always appears at night, not to mention pops out of nowhere. Maybe he has fangs.
"Hey Hyung... “ I tilt my chin as a greeting. “You’re really… everywhere, aren’t you?"
"Maybe because I've been stalking you?"
"Oh wow."
Unlike normally, I have no mood to swoon over him like a fanboy, instead I wave as a goodbye and continue walking.
“Hey, why in a hurry, Joongie?” He drapes an arm around my shoulder.
The friendly gesture is enough to turn me cautious if it’s from Siwon, and so I manage to push him away in time before his hand travels even lower than my hips.
"Okay, that’s it. Make a space." I snarl.
He shrugs. "... And why is that?"
"After you shoved a stripper down my face, made me drunk, watched me masturbate and completed it perfectly with that failed blowjob in ER pantry, I conclude you as dangerous and if anything more than that happen I will have a fumy boyfriend chops my neck when I'm back home, no thanks."
It’s an insult but the respond I get is a joyful snicker. "You mean that forensic creep who watched us in ER?"
I narrow my eyes, not appreciating his comment. "Changmin is not a creep."
“Neither is he your boyfriend.”
“Either way, I conclude you as dangerous AND annoying. See you tomorrow.” I quicken my pace.
“Jaejoong, wait!!” He catches up by my side. “Come on, we rarely meet in the ward.”
I pretend not to hear and keep walking.
“Jae…” He touches my shoulder.
“I said make a space!”
"Okay, okay, maybe I was a bit too much. I can't help it, I'm interested in you. I… I was wrong about you, I thought you're into adventurous act and hasty approach..."
Whoa, interested in me, now that’s new. "Well you're not exactly wrong, but let’s put that aside, I'm in a hurry right now. Should feed the creep.” I retort in insinuation.
But he turns out to be more persistent that I thought.
"Jaejoong, please… at least let me drive you back?” He takes my hand and clasps it between his, begging. From here to the dorm is less than ten minutes by feet so car isn’t really necessary, but I guess he won’t stop until I agree to the request.
“I want to spend a little more time with you. I want to know you better, Jae…” He adds.
Sighing, I lift my hand, telling him to do as he wishes by gesture. He fists his hand victoriously and tells me to wait while he takes the car.
It comes in less than three minutes. After letting him opening my door, I get in and drop myself onto the cozy seat.
“You know, I will drive really slowly so we’ll have more time to be together.” He says and starts running the car.
I sigh again, rubbing my nose. “Do as you want.”
He laughs happily and offers me coffee in a cartoon glass. “Here’s the caffeine. After this you need to study for the upcoming test right.”
I take the offer and drink the content while he keeps talking about every random thing he thinks about me. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight though, it’s like I can’t concentrate to practically everything; my mind’s drifting somewhere else.
Gradually, it’s getting hard to understand his chitchat; it’s getting hard to hear him.
It’s getting hard to stay awake.
*
*
I wake up in the dark, smelling a familiar scent, counting the familiar frequency of breath rhythm. Within the proximity that feels weirdly comforting instead of suffocating.
It’s just one of our nights together in his bed. Isn’t it silly, two men sharing a bed when there were already two beds to begin with?
As if hearing my question inside his dream, he mumbles incoherent words. I don’t care what those words are, the fact that my name’s between them is enough to make me smile, even wider when his arm moves unconsciously to my waist, implying both dependence and possession.
Softly, I call his name. More like for my own satisfaction. The name feels perfect in my tongue, just as perfect as his hair between my fingers, his skin on my skin.
As perfect as his lips on my lips.
I want this moment to be endless; moment to adore everything about him. We’re meant for each other, this is how we supposed to be, right?
So why his presence seems to cease each time I kiss him, each time I call his name?
Still I call his name again.
“Joongie, how could you call another man’s name when I’m here by your side?”
The sight’s decaying.
I snap my eyes open, bewildered.
It needs time to adapt with the evolving scenery and realize that the sweet curl of smile next to mine has changed into a mischievous one that is Siwon's.
"What the..?"
My limbs are restrained from moving freely. I'm pinned shamefully onto a bed, hands up, long gauze are tied from either side of the bed and headboard to my legs and wrists. When I think of it as bad enough, turns out my pants are loosely dangling around my lower hip, exposing my helpless member.
I can barely think clearly.
"Where.... am....?"
Beside me Siwon is lying on his side, propping on his elbow and watches me in amusement.
"Hyung....?"
I remember that I suppose to be on my way back to the dorm, in Siwon’s car….
That coffee.
"You drugged me!!" I yell as soon as the sense return, kicking my legs as a futile effort to be free. "What the fuck do you want!?"
"I've been wanting this for too long, Joongie… can't believe I finally get it..." cold sweated fingers are twirling on my neck.
I duck out in horrid and disgust. "Let me go, Hyung!! This is not funny!!"
Sweat trickles from his forehead, eyes spark in excitement, chest heave to the point where I can hear dangerously hoarse and threatening breathings.
"Kim Jaejoong. Always tilting your chin up. So proud, so snobbish."
Either the previous drug has interfered with my agility or he's just that sneaky that I fail to notice everything in time. His sly smile remains when a hard thing forces its way through my unbuckled pants, stabbing me deep between my legs and makes a quake inside me, causing me to arch in a scream.
"H-hyung... What is... Put it away!!!" Regardless of how I wiggle the thing is attached to me persistently.
"G-get it... Get it off!!!
"Oh my... Like that, Joongie... Fling that body again, dance it like that..."
"Stop this!! You're sick!!"
"You know about that... Yet you're still around... Naive or slutty, either way is hot."
When he strokes himself enjoying the sight of me writhing I realize this is not another one of his adventurous kinks, precisely not the one whom you can laugh at afterward.
He pulls his jeans lower.
"I like to play with my dish a bit before... You know..."
"You son of a bitch!!!" I attempt another kick at his direction but this thing inside me is meddling with the ability to control my body. I hate how Siwon enjoys this, how he easily catches my legs and pushes the thing deeper.
"A mouth that needs manner, I like it..."
Licking lips with a lewd grin, he climbs over me and traps me between his legs before thrusting his bare hips against my face. I lash out sequence of curses while ducking out hopelessly just to get an amused chuckle and a rock-hard, veins covered cock rubbed ferociously against my face, which is full of sweat and tears of anger. In no time he manages to fix my head between his hands and I know that opening my mouth to protest will only give him a chance to shove his thing while I have no position to fight back.
"Open your mouth, Joongie... You'll like this down your throat..." He grabs a clutch of hair with one hand while the other is tugging my jaw down, trying to open my tight-sealed mouth. "Oh well, let's not rush it..."
Back to my side and still stroking his own cock, he momentarily stops the humiliation and unplugs a black, oval shaped vibrator from my body.
“ I’ll fucking kill you Choi Siwon!!!" I scream vengefully.
"Oh? No need to be that mad, just tell me if you want the vibrator back..." he mocks. I clench my jaw, wishing to crush him into ashes totally.
"What do you want!? Just rent a whore to feed your sick kinks and let me go!!"
"Well I do use them... but you know, after hundreds of time it gets lame. They don't curse like you, they don't cry and beg like Ryeowook..."
My beat stops at the familiar name.
".... And definitely can't act like Kyuhyun. Seriously, his exasperated, high-pitched cry when I choked him to death while fucking him, how his hole clenched and jittered around me... It was something whores can't always give..."
It needs time to register what I’ve just heard.
"Y-you.... You.... killed him.....?"
Siwon paused, feigning an expression as if he wasn’t supposed to spill that out. "Well I didn't mean too, was doing it from behind and got carried away... I thought he finally enjoyed it, but...omo, he was dead."
I don't even want to know what he did with the body thereafter. Fear starts to crawl along my spine.
"Stop this... Get me out of here..."
"See, it confuses me... When you curse it turns me on, when you cower it also turns me on... how can you do that? Maybe if you nagged for more after that night in the club I'd lose interest in you, but you didn't.... You perfectly didn't... And perfectly playing hard to get, just like how I had predicted..."
Smile curls in his lips. An eerie one that causes my goose bumps. His gaze feels like skinning me alive.
The pit of my stomach swirls.
"You, Kim Jaejoong. You. Beautiful, arrogant, unreachable... end up begging for mercy under me... soaked in my sweat and my cum... panting, wriggling, tensing..... God, can't you understand how that thought alone giving me itch every night?"
"Stop it... You're lunatic..." I shut my eyes while fruitlessly pulling my tied limbs harder.
"How fast will the heat leave your body, Joongie? How hard will you convulse... you're already so pale... How can it be paler?"
I don't know what the hell he's talking about until he takes out a knife from a drawer beside the bed.
"W-what are you--"
"Relax, it's not like I'll stab you like some barbaric criminal..." He put the knife next to my legs. "I love you too much to do that..."
"Are you nuts!? You call this love!?"
"I love you Joongie... I love you... I'll prove it..."
He shifts and again climbs on top of me.
"F-fuck....! Get off of me!!!" struggling only makes him laugh excitedly as if he’s in some kind of a roller coaster. With both hands secure my arms he weighs me down firmer and starts gnawing my chest, tongue assaulting my nipples.
"Fuck off!! You're disgusting!! Fuck off, Siwon!!"
"Even these tiniest parts of yours are absolutely gorgeous..." his nails scratch my skin, hard and painful.
"Stop it!!"
"Hmm... yeah... keep on screaming, Make me harder than ever..." He reaches the previously neglected knife.
"W-what are you doing...!?"
"I need to do this, Joongie... You haven't screamed loud enough."
And I do exactly like he wants, screaming my lung out as he grazed the tip of the knife against my stomach, just light but painful enough.
"Stop it!!! Just stop it!!"
Blood oozes from the scratch. As if it's not hurt enough he adds the pain by nibbling the wound roughly, tearing it apart even more.
"Stop it.... I-it hurts...."
How I wish to pass out just like I did before, rather than lower myself by crying and begging like this.
"On to the dish..." His blood smeared lips captured my limp member. I bite my lips and shut my eyes tight, trying hard not to feel the torture of his mouth or digits that probes me deep.
"Keep on with the silence, and I'll have to do more things to you."
I heard sounds of fabrics being ripped. Knife makes contact against my thigh. Against my chest. I keep my mouth shut -not even wincing, only the depth of my throat voicing restrained whimpers as I release tears to fight back the pain.
The vibrator is placed deeper than before, fingers make their way in and out my body, tongue laps around my hole, causing me to bounce and convulse against my will.
Maybe it's better if he really stabs me so I can lose consciousness, but the wounds he's making aren't even deep enough to be more than the skin depth.
So nothing I can do but trying to ignore the fact that a psycho is littering me. I try to think about anything else other than the cold knife edge or the saliva or the sticky substance. Anything pleasant and nice.
Changmin's goofy smile. Changmin's unfunny jokes.
"Your hole is so pretty, you know that? I like how it clenches..."
Changmin's mismatched eyes. Changmin's gentle voice.
Just when I thought my lame life will be over in the hands of a psycho, a beeping tone rings.
It's coming from a cell phone somewhere in the room and totally feels like a momentary blessing when it makes Siwon stops with a scoff. "Bet it's him again..." He scowls and gets himself off of me.
I gasp for oxygen as much as I can while he looks for the source of the sound. Just before I have my lung fully extended he swivels around in broader smile, causing my breath to stop.
It's my phone in his hand.
"’Hyung... Where are you? I've checked all the convenient stores around... Please don't do this to me..’." He reads the text message with mocking face and disparaging tone. "It's the seventh, you know? This creep doesn't know when to stop."
Voice has completely left my throat. I can't even notice the tears running down my face harder than before.
"Should I reply to this? Oh-oh, listen. This one is funny, the third message from him. 'If you don't pick up the phone now I'll destroy your mom's alien plushy...'"
Siwon's laughter roars through the room.
My chest hurt. I know Changmin is worrying about me now. How I want to see him so bad, to tell him to stop worrying. I don't deserve it.
"Enough. Time to continue to interrupted main course... with more funky things." He leaves the phone on the table and disappears from the door while humming a melody. "Cock ring or jagged dildo, honey??" he yells from outside the room.
For a while, I cry harder. Fear, anger, shame, regret, those emotions drive me crazy. I really prefer death than this kind of humiliation.
Then right when I believe how an escape is impossible, I notice that the tie around my wrists felt a bit loosen probably due to those struggles from before. Without wasting the time I work as fast as I can to disentangle the knots with the extremely limited movement my fingers have. My heart beat faster in fear and thrill when I manage to free one of my hands. Using the knife he left by my side, I cut the rest of the ties and jump from the bed in panic, still holding a knife to protect myself.
I fix my pants, grab my cell phone and shove it hastily into my pocket before rushing to the door, trembling all over. Rush of adrenaline seems to be helping me in bearing the pain.
Somehow I’m anticipating that it won’t be that easy.
And I’m right. The door slams open right when I'm about to flee through it, revealing Siwon's cynical eyes rending my nerves.
"You know the punishment will be harder for a bad boy right?" He walks closer, forcing me to step back.
I raise the knife at him. "Move or I'll kill you!!"
“Yeah, yeah…” He yawns. “Now let’s fuck for real.”
Sick with his attitude, I attack him with the knife, seriously thinking of killing him. Believe me I’m eager to do that right here, right now. However he dodges easily and catches my wrist in a swift, pulls it, and slams me hard onto the floor. The knife detaches from my hands.
“Fucking an angry Kim Jaejoong. Sexy. ” He licks his lips and clutches me by nape, securing my back between his knees and pins my arms down; cold wooden floor meets my face. Then he flips my head roughly, almost snapping me neck, just to slap me repeatedly.
Right when his palm passes my mouth I bite it as hard as I can.
“FUCK!!!!”
He pulls both of his hands away, temporary releasing my arms, and I use that chance to punch his nose as hard as I can. To my fortunate he falls back and curses, giving me slim chance to grab the previously neglected knife and stab it to him.
“BITCH!!! I’LL FUCK YOUR FACE TILL IT BLEEDS I SWEAR!!”
I think it fails to target the vital part, but I don’t care. I run from the room, frantically searching for exit while thinking that it’ll be the end if I choose a wrong door. Siwon’s scream echoes through the apartment but I don’t want to waste the chance by looking back.
The door I choose is an exit door. I can’t see everything around, I don’t see anything more than a dark, gloomy apartment hall. I just run, run and keep running. Down the very stair I can find. Just keep running.
*
*
I don’t know how far I've been from Siwon. I start to reach the part of the city I recognize, although not quite well. Rows of stores have closed, only the street lamps and few 24 hours store keep the lights on. It must be really late. Few cars and people passing by but too few to give me a sense of secure. What if they’re Siwon’s allies? What if I find Siwon between them?
I have no courage to even talk to one of them and ask for help. What if they bring me back to Siwon?
Eaten by the fear, I can only succumb to one of the alley, finding a big rubbish can that seems to be quite big for me to hide myself. I curl behind it, wrap my trembling arms around myself and cry. My mind is too hazy to function. The wounds feel both sore and numb, luckily they don't bleed as much as I thought.
After a while crying my alertness is back due to a ringtone, makes me remember that I still have a communication device.
I take my phone hastily from my pocket.
It’s Changmin.
“Hyung…!?” He sounds desperate, almost screaming.
“….Chang….min..?”
Oh God Hyung!!! What are you…. Please….. don’t make me….. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!??”
I have no strength to answer his query. “Min… I.. Siwon…..” It’s hard to continue talking without remembering the things that psycho had done. I choke on my tears.
“…..…. Where…. where are you…?”
His voice wavers. I cry harder.
“H-Hyung…. I…. I’ve been roaming around with a cab, looking for you. I….. I’ll be in your place soon, really soon…. C-can you…. Can you tell me where you are….?”
I struggle to explain the buildings and stores near me, and the characteristics of the alley I’m in, even the color of the rubbish can, but sobs interfere over and over.
“…. Okay…. I see…. I’ve passed that place a while ago. D-Don’t hang up and keep talking, will you? Are you… save? Are you in somewhere hidden?”
I nod but after realizing that he can’t see it, I answer, “…yeah…”
It seems like he occasionally talks to the cab driver about my location.
“….keep talking Hyung, you hear me?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Think about….. think about something funny,….. a-anything, I’ll be there soon, I promise…”
After a moment that seems like a century (or maybe it’s just my feeling) he tells me that he has stopped somewhere that I know not so far from my location.
He tells me that he’s walking through an alley next to a certain store I saw earlier and keeps telling me to think about funny things, and not to worry, and that I should be calm. But he doesn’t sound too calm either.
Finally I hear his voice, not across the line.
“…Changmin-ah….” I stand up, revealing myself from my hiding spot behind the rubbish can. He’s only few steps far.
He runs towards me. I know a hug is going to happen and I want it, but I didn’t expect it to be so bone-crushing.
I want to apologize, I want to tell him that I’m scared, but then again I didn’t expect him to lock my words off with his mouth.
My mind goes blank.
“DID HE HURT YOU!? DID HE TOUCH YOU!!??”
He forcefully rolls my shirt up only to shout a curse upon seeing the bruises and wounds left on my body.
I can’t even believe he really says the word. But then he yells it again and again.
“FUCK!! I’LL FUCKIN’ KILL THAT BASTARD!!”
He hugs me firmer, presses me hard against the stone wall, weighing my body with his, clutching my nape and waist while forcing rough kisses over and over like a possessed being.
“NO ONE CAN TOUCH YOU, YOU HEAR ME!?”
“C-Changmin… stop…” he doesn’t hear me nor let me gap for air. His fingers are strongly attached; nails start to cause a sharp pain to my skin. My back feels hurt as he slams me against the hard surface.
Even after my legs become too weak to support my body he only traps me tighter and deeper inside his arms, his mouth on mine, lips and tongue assaulting fervently and hungrily.
“S-stop... you’re… you’re hurting me….”
Just after I weakly say that he stops. His shoulders rise and falls, eyes wide, as if gaining back the momentarily disappeared common sense.
I didn’t expect this from him.
[to be continued]