Skins - Cassie. Prove It
Characters/Pairing: Cassie/Sid
Fandom Skins
Word Count 1021
Rating: PG-15 for swearing and suggestions of self-harm
Prompt: #7 Prove It
Spoilers: For Series 2, Episode 4 - Michelle.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins :(
She wishes he’d leave her alone, but then if he did she thinks she’ll break again and she’s already been broken so many times before she’s not sure she’d be able to put the pieces back together this time.
He bangs loudly on her bedroom door, each thump making the glasses and candles on her bedside table shudder and her own heart beat more powerfully. She wants to open the door. She wants to hold him and pretend everything’s fine and dandy but she can’t because it’s a lie and she’s lied enough for one lifetime. She’d rather like to try the truth now, she’s just not sure how easy that will be.
“Open the door, Cass. Please,” he begs and all she can think is how pathetic he sounds. He always sounds pathetic, she’s just ignored it; like she’s ignored a thousand other tiny flaws in him because she loves him. There’s no real reason for it, she just does.
“I love you,” he calls in a faint voice. It doesn’t sound like he means it very much, it’s more like his last ditch attempt to get her to open the door to him. It works.
“Do you, Sid?” she asks, her voice near hysterical. “Do you really? Then prove it, Sid. Prove it to me! Would you do anything for me? Would you die for me, Sid? Because I’d die for you. I’d die a million fucking times if I thought that would everything better, if that would make you happy. Only you can’t even not fuck someone else can you? You don’t love me, you love Michelle. Lovely fucking perfect, little Michelle. You’d die for her wouldn’t you? You’d do anything for your precious Michelle. You’d stick up for her over me.” She’s crying now and talking so fast that when she finally pauses for breath she can barely catch it. She’s shaking and gasping for air and he’s just looking at her. He’s not trying to comfort her, or defend himself or anything like that he’s just watching.
She laughs, a sound that’s bitter and heartbreaking at the same time and she steps out past him, almost gliding towards the kitchen where she pulls out a knife and just holds it.
“It’s good that you don’t love me,” she tells him, her eyes fixed on the sharp blade of the knife. The way it glints under the overhead light as she twists it in her hands. It’s beautiful in her eyes, the glimmer of sharp metal. It can destroy everything or make it better, it just depends on your point of view. “It’s better because if you did love me you’d feel like I do and no one should have to deal with that.” She laughs again and finally looks up at him; an odd, mad looking smile on her face. “It’d kill you this feeling. It’s like insects crawling around under your skin, like animals scratching at you from the inside and voices in your head whispering about just what a fucking failure you are. You couldn’t handle that, Sid. You’d be better with Michelle, simple Michelle who doesn’t quite get anything beyond looking good.”
Sid supposes he should do something now, something like trying to take the knife from Cassie or to argue with everything he’s saying because he does love her, he’s sure he does but it doesn’t feel anything like what she’s saying. He doesn’t though, he just stays rooted to the spot with a frown plastered across his face.
“You’re not even arguing!” she laughs. She didn’t expect anything more from him, he has no balls. He’s ineffectual and unthreatening. Cassie thinks perhaps that’s why she loves him, because he’s supposed to be simple and easy unlike Tony or even Chris. He isn’t though; he’s the most complicated of them all because he’s lied about who he is and broken her heart by showing who he really is.
“So come on, if you love me, if you really love me you just have to do one thing, one tiny, little thing and poof just like that I’ll forget everything. I’ll forget about you fucking Michelle repeatedly, I’ll forgot about how you said nothing when she blamed me. I’ll forget about how you wouldn’t listen to me when you thought I was cheating on you. All of it, gone, a new start. What do you think?”
“Anything you want, Cass,” he replies eagerly. He’s not sure what he wants more, for her to just calm down or for them to actually try again just like she’s saying.
“I want you to never see Michelle again. She’ll be gone soon, to university, so it’ll be easy,” she says quietly, her voice quiet and calm now. Suddenly Sid isn’t sure which was the more scary, the frantic Cassie or this seemingly relaxed one.
“But…it’s Michelle,” he points out. He’s known Michelle since he was six years old, been in love with her since he was 8. She’s one of his best friends, he can’t just stop seeing her it’s not that simple. Nothing’s ever as simple as Cassie likes to think.
She shakes her head and places the knife carefully back in the drawer. It’s pointless, of course it is. She’s no match for Michelle, she never has been and she never will be, not where Sid’s concerned. Just like that it’s over and she feels nothing, because really it’s been over for a long time. The moment she saw him with Michelle it ended, because he’d got what he wanted. He didn’t need to make do with second best anymore and that knowledge changed everything between them.
“Go to Michelle, Sid,” she says and it almost sounds like she means it. She moves past without looking at him and goes back into her bedroom. That’s it, choices made. And really she isn’t sorry. She realises now that once you’ve been broken beyond repair you can’t be broken again and oddly that makes it easier. She won’t have her heart broken again, because it can only be broken the once and Sid has that honour.
Fandom Skins
Word Count 1021
Rating: PG-15 for swearing and suggestions of self-harm
Prompt: #7 Prove It
Spoilers: For Series 2, Episode 4 - Michelle.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins :(
She wishes he’d leave her alone, but then if he did she thinks she’ll break again and she’s already been broken so many times before she’s not sure she’d be able to put the pieces back together this time.
He bangs loudly on her bedroom door, each thump making the glasses and candles on her bedside table shudder and her own heart beat more powerfully. She wants to open the door. She wants to hold him and pretend everything’s fine and dandy but she can’t because it’s a lie and she’s lied enough for one lifetime. She’d rather like to try the truth now, she’s just not sure how easy that will be.
“Open the door, Cass. Please,” he begs and all she can think is how pathetic he sounds. He always sounds pathetic, she’s just ignored it; like she’s ignored a thousand other tiny flaws in him because she loves him. There’s no real reason for it, she just does.
“I love you,” he calls in a faint voice. It doesn’t sound like he means it very much, it’s more like his last ditch attempt to get her to open the door to him. It works.
“Do you, Sid?” she asks, her voice near hysterical. “Do you really? Then prove it, Sid. Prove it to me! Would you do anything for me? Would you die for me, Sid? Because I’d die for you. I’d die a million fucking times if I thought that would everything better, if that would make you happy. Only you can’t even not fuck someone else can you? You don’t love me, you love Michelle. Lovely fucking perfect, little Michelle. You’d die for her wouldn’t you? You’d do anything for your precious Michelle. You’d stick up for her over me.” She’s crying now and talking so fast that when she finally pauses for breath she can barely catch it. She’s shaking and gasping for air and he’s just looking at her. He’s not trying to comfort her, or defend himself or anything like that he’s just watching.
She laughs, a sound that’s bitter and heartbreaking at the same time and she steps out past him, almost gliding towards the kitchen where she pulls out a knife and just holds it.
“It’s good that you don’t love me,” she tells him, her eyes fixed on the sharp blade of the knife. The way it glints under the overhead light as she twists it in her hands. It’s beautiful in her eyes, the glimmer of sharp metal. It can destroy everything or make it better, it just depends on your point of view. “It’s better because if you did love me you’d feel like I do and no one should have to deal with that.” She laughs again and finally looks up at him; an odd, mad looking smile on her face. “It’d kill you this feeling. It’s like insects crawling around under your skin, like animals scratching at you from the inside and voices in your head whispering about just what a fucking failure you are. You couldn’t handle that, Sid. You’d be better with Michelle, simple Michelle who doesn’t quite get anything beyond looking good.”
Sid supposes he should do something now, something like trying to take the knife from Cassie or to argue with everything he’s saying because he does love her, he’s sure he does but it doesn’t feel anything like what she’s saying. He doesn’t though, he just stays rooted to the spot with a frown plastered across his face.
“You’re not even arguing!” she laughs. She didn’t expect anything more from him, he has no balls. He’s ineffectual and unthreatening. Cassie thinks perhaps that’s why she loves him, because he’s supposed to be simple and easy unlike Tony or even Chris. He isn’t though; he’s the most complicated of them all because he’s lied about who he is and broken her heart by showing who he really is.
“So come on, if you love me, if you really love me you just have to do one thing, one tiny, little thing and poof just like that I’ll forget everything. I’ll forget about you fucking Michelle repeatedly, I’ll forgot about how you said nothing when she blamed me. I’ll forget about how you wouldn’t listen to me when you thought I was cheating on you. All of it, gone, a new start. What do you think?”
“Anything you want, Cass,” he replies eagerly. He’s not sure what he wants more, for her to just calm down or for them to actually try again just like she’s saying.
“I want you to never see Michelle again. She’ll be gone soon, to university, so it’ll be easy,” she says quietly, her voice quiet and calm now. Suddenly Sid isn’t sure which was the more scary, the frantic Cassie or this seemingly relaxed one.
“But…it’s Michelle,” he points out. He’s known Michelle since he was six years old, been in love with her since he was 8. She’s one of his best friends, he can’t just stop seeing her it’s not that simple. Nothing’s ever as simple as Cassie likes to think.
She shakes her head and places the knife carefully back in the drawer. It’s pointless, of course it is. She’s no match for Michelle, she never has been and she never will be, not where Sid’s concerned. Just like that it’s over and she feels nothing, because really it’s been over for a long time. The moment she saw him with Michelle it ended, because he’d got what he wanted. He didn’t need to make do with second best anymore and that knowledge changed everything between them.
“Go to Michelle, Sid,” she says and it almost sounds like she means it. She moves past without looking at him and goes back into her bedroom. That’s it, choices made. And really she isn’t sorry. She realises now that once you’ve been broken beyond repair you can’t be broken again and oddly that makes it easier. She won’t have her heart broken again, because it can only be broken the once and Sid has that honour.