Falling...
I'm falling apart, sorta. It's like I'm a problem car. I can band-aid and jury-rig all manner of problems, but a lot of them just keep coming back up. So, I know I'll keep running but, for no particular reason, today has been particularly rough on me
( Read more... )
Comments 2
Maybe it's because it's been 6 years?
Maybe it's because you're still tearing yourself up about your failings through that whole situation and the consequences are finally culminating into something you just can't bear?
Maybe you've been so scared this whole time that you'll fuck it up again that you haven't been able to tolerate the idea of even trying?
Maybe it's because you finally have some positive activity in your life but you can't even appreciate it? Doesn't that sound familiar?
Or maybe it's just because you had given up on yourself so completely that you don't think you can ever have faith in who you are and you're just waiting to die, hoping that your faith in something greater than yourself will be justified.
But I'm forced to ask myself this: If I live my life like this, do I truly deserve validation of my faith when it's all over? Like you always tell other people, faith is meaningless without devotion. Devotion is absent without trial.
This is your trial.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment