When All Else Fades (Merlin/Arthur, PG-13) Part III
Part I | Part II
Later when he finally made it up to his chambers, Arthur almost stumbled when he noticed Merlin half-dozing and slumped at the table with a flagon of wine next to him.
He tried to be quiet, but accidentally kicked a bucket as he made his across the room.
“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for ages,” Merlin said sitting up, rubbing his face.
“Weren’t you going to the tavern?” Arthur asked walking over, crossing his arms self-consciously.
Merlin stretched, and with a sharp intake of breath, Arthur realized that he wasn’t wearing his neckcloth. He hurriedly dragged his eyes away from the long curve of Merlin's neck.
“It’s never been my thing, yeah? Mostly was going because Gwaine said we should have a belated celebration of everything being back to normal.”
“Everything back to normal? Things haven’t been normal since you arrived to Camelot” said Arthur amusedly as he pulled out a chair.
“You would’ve been bored if they had been normal,” Merlin retorted as he pushed the flagon towards Arthur.
Arthur gratefully took a swallow of wine, the bittersweet taste heavy on his tongue, before passing it back to Merlin.
Grinning back at him, eyes half-lidded as he tilted his head back Merlin drank. Arthur felt his eyes drawn to the way Merlin’s adam’s apple jumped as he swallowed noisily and the way his lips stained red with wine.
This will be enough, Arthur thought as he leaned back in his chair listening to Merlin chat about the gossip he heard down in the kitchen. If I can only have just this, it’ll be okay.
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For the most part, it was enough even if his heart ached whenever he watched Merlin smile at one of the kitchen maids or whenever Merlin was upset about another conservative decision on a magical case.
“I’m trying my best,” Arthur said softly watching as Merlin mutter angrily beside him after another case earlier that day, “but even if my opinion has changed about magic, it’s going to take some time to make reforms.”
Merlin sighed, shoulders slumping as he turned to look at Arthur, “I know. But--”
“At least, he’ll get a fair trial. That’s a start at least.”
“Yeah. ”
It was taking more and more effort for Arthur not to reach across and comfort Merlin. But if Arthur could credit at least one thing to his father, it was his stubbornness and unflinching resolve. Even if he found himself stumbling at times.
“I’m not disappointed with you, you know,” Merlin said suddenly.
“Hmm?”
“I know that this has been hard on you too.”
“Merlin---”
“No, wait---listen to me,” Merlin talked over him impatiently.
Arthur tilted his head looking at Merlin in askance, barely holding back, When have I not listened to you?
“You are a great king, Arthur. And I’m happy to serve you as long as I live. And that you are doing this is more than I ever expected,” Merlin said, his eyes steady and certain.
Arthur felt the weight of Merlin’s words, of his loyalty and it was a bittersweet kind of pain. But he had told himself that this was okay as long as Merlin was close.
Awkwardly, Arthur reached to clasp Merlin’s arm, “Thank you.”
They walked quietly for a few minutes, before Arthur said, “Cheer up, I know you’re not up to serving at the fest tonight but I promise to leave as early as I can.”
Merlin gave him a sidelong glance, biting his bottom lip as he considered Arthur.
Feeling self-conscious, Arthur nervously eyed their surroundings “What is it?”
“I--” Merlin started and to his surprise turned red, “It’s nothing,” he mumbled, “We’re going to be late if you keep on dawdling.”
“I wasn’t the one who insisted on changing my tunic three times.”
If it were possible, Merlin flushed darker, “It’s an important fest.”
Arthur shook his head, amused.
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The fest, to celebrate the particularly bountiful harvest that year was in full swing when Arthur rose to make his excuses. Nodding his thanks and giving his excuses, he gestured to Merlin as he started to make his way out of the room.
With a thud, Arthur found himself pushed onto the ground, Merlin sprawled over him, gold eyes staring out into the crowd searching.
“What--” Arthur started.
“There’s an assassin,” Merlin said as Leon and the knights surrounded them. Leon nodded to Galahad and three others to go find the assassin as rest of the chamber broke out in pandemonium.
“Merlin, your eyes,” Arthur hissed, pulling himself up, needing to look over at Merlin.
Merlin blinked and the gold faded, he looked over at Arthur worriedly, “Are you okay?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that,” Arthur said, fingers forcefully steady as he carefully started to look Merlin over.
“I’m fine, I’m not hurt.”
Merlin tried to struggle, but stopped once he saw the look on Arthur’s face.
He stayed patiently still as Arthur searched him to see whether he was injured. Arthur slumped, half-trembling when he realized the knife had completely missed Merlin.
“Arthur, hey, hey I’m okay,” Merlin said, his hands resting on Arthur’s arms as Arthur struggled to rein in his panic and anger.
“Sire,” Leon said interrupting them, “we found the culprit.”
“Put him in the dungeons under guard,” Arthur said, his voice angry. Leon looked between Arthur and Merlin and took a half step back.
Getting up, Arthur walked furiously back to his room, Merlin right on his heels.
“Arthur, what’s the matter---” Merlin started once they entered Arthur’s chambers.
“Don’t ever do that again,” Arthur said, angry as he turned grabbing Merlin.
“What are you talking about? If it’s about the magic, I’m sorry. But I only saw him from the corner of my eyes and it was the first thing---”
“Don’t,” Arthur said softer this time, shoulders slumping as he turned away, “I don’t need you to protect me Merlin.”
“It’s my duty to protect---” Merlin.
“No it’s not!” Arthur said, whirling back on Merlin angrily.
“Arthur.”
“I can’t bear it. The thought of you dying---”
“Arthur---”
“No, just for once listen to me. If something ever happened to you,” Arthur said voice breaking, fingers digging into Merlin’s arms.
“My life isn’t important as yours.”
“Don’t say that,” Arthur replied furiously, pressing Merlin against the wall, “not to me. Your life is not less important than mine. It’s more important! Without you, I couldn’t---”
“I don’t understand,” Merlin said looking back at Arthur in confusion, mouth turned down in a frown.
It was too easy, the fear and panic at the thought of losing Merlin, too easy to lean in and press his lips against Merlin. The need to feel Merlin alive and breathing against him, the need to swallow every exhale and the feel the thrum of the fast-beating pulse at the curve of his neck.
It takes a moment for Arthur to realize what he was doing, of what he had done. And another beat to realize that Merlin was standing stock still against him. With the the sharp ache that he just lost everything after-all, Arthur started to pull back. But insistent hands reached up to grab his shoulders to pull him back and with a sharp exhale, Merlin’s kissing him back.
Minutes later, still leaning close, Arthur looked at Merlin who despite the red cheeks was grinning back at him.
“I--” Arthur started.
“It’s alway been you. Just took me longer to figure it out, that’s all,” Merlin said.
“Yeah, you’ve always been slow on the uptake,” Arthur mused in agreement.
“Yeah, well you should be flattered that someone is willing to put up with your prattish ways.”
“Shouldn’t it be that you should be flattered that the King of Camelot---” Arthur paused, “has look upon you in favor.”
“Is that what this is?” Merlin said quietly.
“No,” Arthur reached up to cup Merlin’s face, “No---I was serious. If something were to happen to you--”
“And this?”
“This is whatever you want it to be. Whatever we want it to be.”
“Merlin and Arthur?”
“Yeah.”
“The High King and his Sorcerer?”
Or something more, Arthur thought as he leaned in again, whispering the yes against Merlin’s lips. He didn’t have to hold back this time because they had time. All the time in the world to figure it out.
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Part I | Part II