A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse enters his room to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr. Jones, I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my ( Read more... )

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise ( Read more... )

ok i wrote a monologue, and i need to get feedback, ive already asked some very special people to give me feed back, and if you should be one of thos special people then you werent signed on i guess. but tell me what you think and give me any advice you will. (if you've given me advice i havent put it in yet because i havent had the chance yet ( Read more... )

what do you call a cow with no legs?

ground beef

Oh i kill me!
(thanks for that one maureen)

i think i should post this again because its come up quite a bit lately:

it takes a minute to find a special person
an hour to appreciate them
a day to love them
and a lifetime to forget them

ok i guess ill start updating again. im still never going to put a bunch of drama on here, because chances are if you know me you'll hear whats on my mind. so i think people who arent happy but have read my journal or profile with the happy link on them just dont want to be happy. i mean the stuff is simple advice. and when people complain about "i ( Read more... )

so I'm officially a stalker, her name is Emily and she lives in california. she raises hampsters and ive already killed 18 and made finger pupets out of them. i take socks out of her drawers so she doesnt have to where shoes. she has a "bug bite" on her forehead. ha, bug bite? she has no idea, im extracting tissue from her head to make a living ( Read more... )

i am a very happy person right now, and i thank a certin website that i found. the website tells you ways to be a happier person (it makes god references but hey he doesnt tell you what to believe he actually discourages telling people what to believe) you might think some of the things are dumb or childish, but take the advice to heart and it will ( Read more... )

Midsummer Nights dream was so rockin. all of the actors and actresses were great it was amazing. martin rocks really hard as well, duh. so everyone should see it tonight at 7:00pm for $3. at north cobb. its worth it.

Post a memory of me in the comments. It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal and see what people remember about you.