To start, I think it's true that people have certain "set points" that dictate their general demeanor, personality traits, etc.
That said (barring severe mental illness, etc.) how people utilize and express these traits is, I believe, largely in their control--even if they may not feel like it is. The trouble is, it often takes an awful amount of will power and self awareness to create huge changes.
People can change- but they have to be willing to. If someone feels they are powerless to change, they will be. Massive changes take will and self control and a lot of people either don't have any or they choose not to tap into it.
Someone who's completely incapable of comprehending the meaning/implications of their actions probably needs help. The same is probably true for someone who feels completely powerless to change his or herself. Until they either have a massive epiphany or seek professional help, they'll most likely go on feeling powerless or failing to recognize their wrongs.
How would you further describe what you mean by "set points"? I'm curious to see if it might look like the fundamental aspects of one's character that Sam and Megan are talking about.
To clarify further,_moratorium_August 11 2007, 22:13:14 UTC
what I was essentially trying to say is that our personalities/fundamental nature/etc. is predisposed in a lot of ways, but we still have a decent amount of control over what we do with what we're given/how we express it.
Well I'm with Olivia on her last bit if nothing else.
I guess I tend to think that while people grow and shift a little bit throughout their lives, nothing really new can occur in a person's character. I, for example (since I'm the only thing I have any authority to say anything about, as we've established) have changed over the last year, but it's in how I interact and express myself, not what is present. In other words, while it is quite likely that I will continue growing and changing for the rest of my life, I am unlikely to ever develop a fondness for wearing six-inch spike stilettos, three inches of eyeshadow and performing karaoke in bars full of leering men. There's absolutely nothing about that that's consistent with who I am, and unless I suffer some serious trauma of some kind it never will be
( ... )
I've been wondering this a lot lately and agree with most of what Sam said. I think that perhaps while people can change how they act/how they respond to their emotions etc., they don't change that much internally or fundamentally. In other words, change is usually changing how you deal with what is present, not adding or removing major qualities. I could go into an in-depth discussion of this regarding myself if you are interested at a later time. Also, you (obviously) can't change unless you really want to. I know a certain individual who sees change as betraying himself and/or as a weakness, which probably means he will be stuck in (most of) his ways for the most part until he chooses to view change differently, which is possible but not overly probable.
(Well, that was rambly/oddly phrased, but there you go. Perhaps more discussion in person at some point?)
I feel like we are a product of our make up (emotions and logic included) and so unless it's part of us initially to be able to change, the chances that we can seem slim. It would be like trying to pick yourself up by the scruff of your own shirt. For instance, if your reaction to someone stealing your favorite ball when you're three years old is to bite them, your reaction later in life is going to be very similar. Vengeance is a part of your nature, and so probably something you'll always have there. However, I do think we can learn from our experiences. So maybe you'll still feel the need to figuratively bite that nasty ball-stealer later in life, but you'll have enough control now to not do it, or to consciously turn the other cheek
( ... )
So for my birthday this year, I want to go to "Journey Into Manhood: A Healing Weekend" from August 24th-26th in Salt Lake City, Utah. (That's a tip kids, write it down).
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That said (barring severe mental illness, etc.) how people utilize and express these traits is, I believe, largely in their control--even if they may not feel like it is. The trouble is, it often takes an awful amount of will power and self awareness to create huge changes.
People can change- but they have to be willing to. If someone feels they are powerless to change, they will be. Massive changes take will and self control and a lot of people either don't have any or they choose not to tap into it.
Someone who's completely incapable of comprehending the meaning/implications of their actions probably needs help. The same is probably true for someone who feels completely powerless to change his or herself. Until they either have a massive epiphany or seek professional help, they'll most likely go on feeling powerless or failing to recognize their wrongs.
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I guess I tend to think that while people grow and shift a little bit throughout their lives, nothing really new can occur in a person's character. I, for example (since I'm the only thing I have any authority to say anything about, as we've established) have changed over the last year, but it's in how I interact and express myself, not what is present. In other words, while it is quite likely that I will continue growing and changing for the rest of my life, I am unlikely to ever develop a fondness for wearing six-inch spike stilettos, three inches of eyeshadow and performing karaoke in bars full of leering men. There's absolutely nothing about that that's consistent with who I am, and unless I suffer some serious trauma of some kind it never will be ( ... )
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(Well, that was rambly/oddly phrased, but there you go. Perhaps more discussion in person at some point?)
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Rhiannon wins.
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