Up in the Air
[12:10:56] Lost Soul: I know this is an older movie by now, but I need to vent, so there. XP
It was supposed to be a nice evening full of company, movies and wine. Then someone suggests Up in the Air as a film. And I'm thinking... okay... We'll have The Boat that Rocked after this, I suppose I can take a romantic flick about a guy that flies around all his life firing people for a living. Yeah, he does sound charming, doesn't he.
So we put the movie in and... The recorder refuses to play it. I should've taken this as a sign. Instead, stubborn as I am, we play the movie on the laptop.
And five seconds into the movie, I already start regretting my decision. The intro is made up of quickly changing fractions of shots, splattered all around the screen of videos taken from a plane flying over various cities. There's absolutely no consistency to these shots, they spin in different directions, some bounce, since they're taken from a plane, some go up, some go down and they keep changing in a way you'd expect from a 12 year old playing with powerpoint slides. I seriously got a little nauseous just by staring at the screen and I haven't even hit the wine yet (which was ever so thankful for having throughout the rest of the movie).
Already I'm deciding to play The Bad Movie Game: find a redeeming quality. Buckle up, this is going to be a tough round. So surviving the seizure inducing credits we get to know our main hero. He flies a lot. Then he fires people. Then flies some more. He explains why does this for other people instead of them doing it themselves and we are shown an employee doing various things from tossing things around, through pouring bleach into coffee and ending with Counter-Strike gear and rifle, which is kinda funny, I have to admit. But what can the protagonist played by George Clooney do to handle this? Well... he gives out pamphlets, says it's a new start and "never sees them again". What? So a pamphlet prevents people from running around with a fricken sniper rifle? Why? Does it have some sort of Ward on it that disintegrates frustration? Does it contain Valium? A new job? Lottery tickets? Portable dignity? Oh this I just gotta know!
....oh wait, the movie doesn't care. Apparently knowing that the employees get a random sheet of paper is pretty much all they need. Points to Clooney though, since he actually gives motivational speeches, but if I understood correctly, he does not do so on company standards (and tells people to burn things *cough*). The company has their pamphlet. I'm already starting to question if they heard about the term corporate responsibility in this movie. But okay,it's the crisis, there's but a few jobs out there and a lot of work for people like Clooney, they go for the quantity, but at least they do it somewhat personally?
...
Except that Clooney gets called back to the office and gets told that they'll be firing people over the internet now. No joke. Let this sink in. People will get fired over webcams. I'm completely awestomped by this. Seasoned professionals. Don't see ANYTHING wrong. With firing people. Over the INTERNET. No, seriously, there's a room full of people there when the announcement is made and not a single one except Clooney thinks this is a bad idea. And Clooney only thinks so because he does not know how to live outside a plane in a way. Does nobody even for a second stop and think about all the things that could go wrong here? Is this legal? Is the writer serious? This is just too surreal to even be a parody. This whole idea is just insulting at best... Naturally, it's implemented by the new female rookie that just came to the company without knowing anything of the business yet. Which instantly begs the question of how she even got to put this idea on the CEO's desk, something I don't even want to think about, seriously. Oh and get this: the movie is trying to make the idea sound valid by making her a psychology major (Top of the Class label provided to you by Plot Convenience Ltd since 1940s). The sheer amount of holes this whole situation has is worse than I thought could be contained in an Uwe Boll movie. Can't you at least make her a tech major? Then at least her weird obsession with solving everything through mechanical devices would make sense, even if anything else would still be a giant inexplicable mess.
So, movie logic dictating, Clooney wipes the floor with the newbie, as the boss should've done in the first place (I'm still going over what kind of black mail she had to use to make this happen in my head) and is subsequently stuck in tutoring her. Poor guy. This woman is blander than a brown paper bag, both in character and acting. They try all sort of props to have her look inexperienced and showing emotion, but the fact remains that she's just looks off in any scene she tries or doesn't try to act in.
In the mean time, a plot evolves around Clooney meeting a woman played by Vera Farmiga of similar profession and displays a rather novel mating ritual: they start comparing credit cards. Well... that's... new... Please give me a moment. *goes to check imdb*
Yeah, apparently we're still in a romance movie. Man, things sure have changed in the courting business lately... They decide on swapping flight info, so they can meet and cyber if they don't. Apparently that is what the blackberry was invented for.
So the rookie (seriously, this person is so bland in her generic behaviour, I don't even see a reason to give her a name) travels around failing at firing people, including a woman who said she'll jump off a bridge. And we find out that Clooney wants to keep flying, because he want to gain a million miles, so he can flash another shiny card into people's faces. Then the rookie confronts him about marriage and all of a sudden starts to ... umm... cry... I think. Well, her face is a bizarre mess, she makes squealish noises and she still kept the blandness of her acting, so it's really hard to tell. And Clooney with all the reluctance one could have when risking being associated with this creature tries to give her a hug, only to be spotted by Farmiga. Say good-bye to your street cred, man.
In the next scene, we see the elderly couple consoling the rookie, who was just broken up with through SMS, the irony of which no one cares about at this point. And in this particular scene, I've just WON The Bad Movie Game. My thanks goes to Vera Farmiga, who absolutely stole the scene, when she talks about relationships with simply awe inspiring body language, which really sold the feeling that she was developing an affection for Clooney. And the rookie opened her mouth again and the moment was gone. DAMNIT! ><;;
So they all do the sensible thing and crash a random IT company party, where rookie ends up humping a random IT guy and the next morning everyone's like, whatever, rookie gets upset because... uhh... rookie gets upset, attacks Clooney's casual relationship with Farmiga and then trots off, before there can be any sensible discussions made.
This leads to Clooney inviting Farmiga to his sister's wedding. And once again, we get some pretty touching scenes between the two. And there was absolutely no rookie to spoil it this time! Woo! But Clooney's family did a good job instead. I'm still quite confused about the scene where the husband gets cold feet and Clooney, as the person that fires people for a living is sent to tell him to reconsider... and it went EXACTLY like a guy who fires people for a living would handle the situation... but the wedding takes place anyway, thanks to Plot Convenience (TM). And Clooney starts second guessing his life style, thanks to Predictability (C).
This part of the plot is resolved by Clooney dissing his motivational speeches, going to Farmiga's house and finding a husband with two kids there... And Farmiga telling him on the phone that she didn't know that he didn't know about her being married with children, Yeah, you remember all the scenes I did enjoy? They just totally went out the window. We've been told that they don't really count for anything. I've totally lost the Bad Movie Game. At the flight back, Clooney passes his one million miles, get congratulated by the captain, receives his flashy card and says nothing of importance. Well, glad that went somewhere. Actually, to be fair, he does donate all his miles to his sister and husband, so they can go travel (minor subplot that was basically an excuse for people standing around and doing absolutely nothing sans Clooney falling into water... yay slapstick?).
The other part, where the company tries to fire people through web didn't fare much better. The project actually starts, but the woman that said she'll jump off a bridge... jumped off a bridge. Rookie quits, the project is on hold, Clooney surprised that he didn't even notice anything wrong about the woman (you know... the one that told him she'd jump). So the project is a no go, until legal gets off the company's back. What's puzzling is that the woman was NOT fired over the internet, but face-to-face. Which really begs the question on how legal the whole thing was, if they don't want legal even knowing about it happening on the side. Another flash of genius from the manager's side: Clooney is to be sent on a constant firing spree (as far away from any lawyer as his manager could get him *cough*)
Last scene with Clooney: standing at the terminal, staring at the information board.
Last scene with rookie: getting a new job. She even got references from Clooney. They literally said "Take her and don't look back." In other words, Clooney couldn't find one good thing to write down about rookie and I can't blame him.
Last scene: Random people talking about how they are still unemployed, just less angry. So, you know, we end on an optimistic note.
This movie...
It baffles me. It fails to achieve anything. Basic premise was: people get fired, people get fired with even less dignity, then people get fired the same way. There's absolutely no resolution for individual characters, nor situation. The end result is absolutely the same as the beginning with a slightly more messed up main character. The story is insultingly ridiculous and the few good moments are taken around the back, kicked in the balls and shot in 2 minutes time. There's not one likeable character present in this thing. And the plot placement itself is quite awkward: not only is this during the crisis people STILL kinda feel, but it doesn't really even do the theme much justice, with little to no touching back on the subject, nor motivations. The morale at best being that people are baggage you don't need, but then again not.
... Why was this made?
It was supposed to be a nice evening full of company, movies and wine. Then someone suggests Up in the Air as a film. And I'm thinking... okay... We'll have The Boat that Rocked after this, I suppose I can take a romantic flick about a guy that flies around all his life firing people for a living. Yeah, he does sound charming, doesn't he.
So we put the movie in and... The recorder refuses to play it. I should've taken this as a sign. Instead, stubborn as I am, we play the movie on the laptop.
And five seconds into the movie, I already start regretting my decision. The intro is made up of quickly changing fractions of shots, splattered all around the screen of videos taken from a plane flying over various cities. There's absolutely no consistency to these shots, they spin in different directions, some bounce, since they're taken from a plane, some go up, some go down and they keep changing in a way you'd expect from a 12 year old playing with powerpoint slides. I seriously got a little nauseous just by staring at the screen and I haven't even hit the wine yet (which was ever so thankful for having throughout the rest of the movie).
Already I'm deciding to play The Bad Movie Game: find a redeeming quality. Buckle up, this is going to be a tough round. So surviving the seizure inducing credits we get to know our main hero. He flies a lot. Then he fires people. Then flies some more. He explains why does this for other people instead of them doing it themselves and we are shown an employee doing various things from tossing things around, through pouring bleach into coffee and ending with Counter-Strike gear and rifle, which is kinda funny, I have to admit. But what can the protagonist played by George Clooney do to handle this? Well... he gives out pamphlets, says it's a new start and "never sees them again". What? So a pamphlet prevents people from running around with a fricken sniper rifle? Why? Does it have some sort of Ward on it that disintegrates frustration? Does it contain Valium? A new job? Lottery tickets? Portable dignity? Oh this I just gotta know!
....oh wait, the movie doesn't care. Apparently knowing that the employees get a random sheet of paper is pretty much all they need. Points to Clooney though, since he actually gives motivational speeches, but if I understood correctly, he does not do so on company standards (and tells people to burn things *cough*). The company has their pamphlet. I'm already starting to question if they heard about the term corporate responsibility in this movie. But okay,it's the crisis, there's but a few jobs out there and a lot of work for people like Clooney, they go for the quantity, but at least they do it somewhat personally?
...
Except that Clooney gets called back to the office and gets told that they'll be firing people over the internet now. No joke. Let this sink in. People will get fired over webcams. I'm completely awestomped by this. Seasoned professionals. Don't see ANYTHING wrong. With firing people. Over the INTERNET. No, seriously, there's a room full of people there when the announcement is made and not a single one except Clooney thinks this is a bad idea. And Clooney only thinks so because he does not know how to live outside a plane in a way. Does nobody even for a second stop and think about all the things that could go wrong here? Is this legal? Is the writer serious? This is just too surreal to even be a parody. This whole idea is just insulting at best... Naturally, it's implemented by the new female rookie that just came to the company without knowing anything of the business yet. Which instantly begs the question of how she even got to put this idea on the CEO's desk, something I don't even want to think about, seriously. Oh and get this: the movie is trying to make the idea sound valid by making her a psychology major (Top of the Class label provided to you by Plot Convenience Ltd since 1940s). The sheer amount of holes this whole situation has is worse than I thought could be contained in an Uwe Boll movie. Can't you at least make her a tech major? Then at least her weird obsession with solving everything through mechanical devices would make sense, even if anything else would still be a giant inexplicable mess.
So, movie logic dictating, Clooney wipes the floor with the newbie, as the boss should've done in the first place (I'm still going over what kind of black mail she had to use to make this happen in my head) and is subsequently stuck in tutoring her. Poor guy. This woman is blander than a brown paper bag, both in character and acting. They try all sort of props to have her look inexperienced and showing emotion, but the fact remains that she's just looks off in any scene she tries or doesn't try to act in.
In the mean time, a plot evolves around Clooney meeting a woman played by Vera Farmiga of similar profession and displays a rather novel mating ritual: they start comparing credit cards. Well... that's... new... Please give me a moment. *goes to check imdb*
Yeah, apparently we're still in a romance movie. Man, things sure have changed in the courting business lately... They decide on swapping flight info, so they can meet and cyber if they don't. Apparently that is what the blackberry was invented for.
So the rookie (seriously, this person is so bland in her generic behaviour, I don't even see a reason to give her a name) travels around failing at firing people, including a woman who said she'll jump off a bridge. And we find out that Clooney wants to keep flying, because he want to gain a million miles, so he can flash another shiny card into people's faces. Then the rookie confronts him about marriage and all of a sudden starts to ... umm... cry... I think. Well, her face is a bizarre mess, she makes squealish noises and she still kept the blandness of her acting, so it's really hard to tell. And Clooney with all the reluctance one could have when risking being associated with this creature tries to give her a hug, only to be spotted by Farmiga. Say good-bye to your street cred, man.
In the next scene, we see the elderly couple consoling the rookie, who was just broken up with through SMS, the irony of which no one cares about at this point. And in this particular scene, I've just WON The Bad Movie Game. My thanks goes to Vera Farmiga, who absolutely stole the scene, when she talks about relationships with simply awe inspiring body language, which really sold the feeling that she was developing an affection for Clooney. And the rookie opened her mouth again and the moment was gone. DAMNIT! ><;;
So they all do the sensible thing and crash a random IT company party, where rookie ends up humping a random IT guy and the next morning everyone's like, whatever, rookie gets upset because... uhh... rookie gets upset, attacks Clooney's casual relationship with Farmiga and then trots off, before there can be any sensible discussions made.
This leads to Clooney inviting Farmiga to his sister's wedding. And once again, we get some pretty touching scenes between the two. And there was absolutely no rookie to spoil it this time! Woo! But Clooney's family did a good job instead. I'm still quite confused about the scene where the husband gets cold feet and Clooney, as the person that fires people for a living is sent to tell him to reconsider... and it went EXACTLY like a guy who fires people for a living would handle the situation... but the wedding takes place anyway, thanks to Plot Convenience (TM). And Clooney starts second guessing his life style, thanks to Predictability (C).
This part of the plot is resolved by Clooney dissing his motivational speeches, going to Farmiga's house and finding a husband with two kids there... And Farmiga telling him on the phone that she didn't know that he didn't know about her being married with children, Yeah, you remember all the scenes I did enjoy? They just totally went out the window. We've been told that they don't really count for anything. I've totally lost the Bad Movie Game. At the flight back, Clooney passes his one million miles, get congratulated by the captain, receives his flashy card and says nothing of importance. Well, glad that went somewhere. Actually, to be fair, he does donate all his miles to his sister and husband, so they can go travel (minor subplot that was basically an excuse for people standing around and doing absolutely nothing sans Clooney falling into water... yay slapstick?).
The other part, where the company tries to fire people through web didn't fare much better. The project actually starts, but the woman that said she'll jump off a bridge... jumped off a bridge. Rookie quits, the project is on hold, Clooney surprised that he didn't even notice anything wrong about the woman (you know... the one that told him she'd jump). So the project is a no go, until legal gets off the company's back. What's puzzling is that the woman was NOT fired over the internet, but face-to-face. Which really begs the question on how legal the whole thing was, if they don't want legal even knowing about it happening on the side. Another flash of genius from the manager's side: Clooney is to be sent on a constant firing spree (as far away from any lawyer as his manager could get him *cough*)
Last scene with Clooney: standing at the terminal, staring at the information board.
Last scene with rookie: getting a new job. She even got references from Clooney. They literally said "Take her and don't look back." In other words, Clooney couldn't find one good thing to write down about rookie and I can't blame him.
Last scene: Random people talking about how they are still unemployed, just less angry. So, you know, we end on an optimistic note.
This movie...
It baffles me. It fails to achieve anything. Basic premise was: people get fired, people get fired with even less dignity, then people get fired the same way. There's absolutely no resolution for individual characters, nor situation. The end result is absolutely the same as the beginning with a slightly more messed up main character. The story is insultingly ridiculous and the few good moments are taken around the back, kicked in the balls and shot in 2 minutes time. There's not one likeable character present in this thing. And the plot placement itself is quite awkward: not only is this during the crisis people STILL kinda feel, but it doesn't really even do the theme much justice, with little to no touching back on the subject, nor motivations. The morale at best being that people are baggage you don't need, but then again not.
... Why was this made?