Oh Boner, why have you forsaken me?
So I was on a thread in a forum today (named "Girls Dorm, boys sneak in!) and I thought I'd share some of the conversations that went on becaue I found them very ammusing. Ill start with one in which I thought I was being very witty and move on to another two with some side commentary:
1) ----------
Me: *when no one is looking, hides under the bed.*
Me: *sneezes* (it's very dusty under the bed)
Girl: *comes out of her room wearing a tight band t shirt, panties and her headphones blaring MSI. She walks to the fridge and grabs a bottle of coke,makes her way over to the couch*
Me: *Uses solid-snake style stealth action to sneak behind the couch. When the time is right, he steals the coke and refreshes his under-the-bed-dust parched throat.*
Girl: *Sits down on the couch and then wonders what happend to her coke. She then here's the bottle being opened and looks behind her. She raises and eyebrow and coughs* ahem...Lol. If you wanted one you could have asked...Wait.*Her smiles fades* ..Heeyyy..What are you doing in here!?
Me:Ummmm.......
*quickly jumps to his feet and throws his arms in the air*
You have no reason to speak to me! *his voice sounds desperate* I am a simple coatrack!
Girl: *Walks over to you swaying her hips. Gets real close to your face and runs her hand though her hair.* hmm...*smiles, she backs up a bit, her hand slides down her neck and puts her hands on her waste* You look like no coatrack to me. =3
Me: *breaks out into a cold sweat, swallowing hard.*
N... No?
*he pauses for a moment...*
That usally works. What's your Perception sco.....
*He stops mid sentence, and looks around at all the half naked girls.*
Oh SHIT! Those jerks! This isn't the latest session of my Vampire LARP (live action Role Play) is it? I'm gonna SO kill Garry for giving me the wrong address!
For the record, this is what I do on these chat rooms when I can't find any better chat rooms to hang out in. Basically tease and annoy poor hormonal teenaged girls. Cruel, true, but for some reason they keep harassing me long after I prove to be a troll. Must be because I'm a troll with STYLE.
2 ----------
Girl: *throws clothes outside of shower room and turns shower on and yelps cause it's cold and first then it warms up*
Guy: *tip toes in, peeks over at lonely_dancer, takes off clothes and joins her*
Girl: *screeches and crouches down to cover self* wh- who are you!
Guy: Just a guy who thought you were hot. You don't mind if I join you, do you?
Girl: *stands up again and grabs shampoo bottle* I guess but keep the conversation up. I'm Annaliese by the way call me Anna.
Guy: *checks you out* Pleasure to meet you "Anna". My name is Matthew, but you can call me Matt. (Note: NOT ME)
Girl: *smiles and nods* Nice to meet you Matt. *turns back and wahes hair*
Guy: *I put my hands in your hair, helping you. You feel my boner*
Girl: Alright that's it! *shoves you out of shower and wraps a towel around herself* you sicko!!!!! *stomps down the hall to her room*
Guy: *wraps towel around himself, follows* What? I was only trying to help. It's not my fault I have a boner because you're so hot.
After this, I sent a private message to the guy, who I had decided would forever be known as "Boner" in my mind. and told him his trolling was absolutley genious and that my sides were splitting. Having been completely serious, he was a little miffed with me. So I ventured to give him a tip or two and explained that PERHAPS he was being a bit too unsubtle. I had renewed hope for Boner however when he struck up another conversation with another girl: 2 ----------
Girl: *goes inot dorm room and starts to blast music by three doors down*
Boner: *Walks in, head banging to 3 Doors Down* I LOVE THIS GROUP!
Girl: yea me too*continues to listen*
Boner: I figured as much considering you were blasting 'em.
Girl: yea true*goes and sits on bed*
Boner: *points to spot beside her* That spot taken?
Girl: nope
Boner: May I?
Girl: sur
Boner: *sits down beside her, hands accidentally touch* *blushes* sorry.
Girl: *looks at him*its ok my name is becca by the way
Boner: Nice to meet you. I'm Matt.
Girl: nice to meet you 2
Boner: So...is this your dorm room?
Girl: yea
Boner: any roomies? *tries not to check her out*
Girl: nope just me*notices him looking at her and blushses a bit*
Boner: *quickly looks away* uh...yeah. that's cool. It must get pretty lonely, being by yourself, huh?
Girl: yea but i like not having a roomie they are so annoying
Boner: It all depends on who you get I guess *stares into her eyes*
Girl: yea i guess*stares back into his eyes*
Boner: *blushes* *thinks: Oh man, I think she likes me. OK. Don't screw this up. This is the first girl who's liked me back.*
Girl: *blushes and quickly turns head nervously*
Boner: You ok?
Girl: yea im just kinda nervous round sum guys
Boner: You don't have to be nervous around me. Can I add you to my friends list?
Girl: yea
Boner: I just added you. Are you nervous anymore?
Girl: not really and thanks for the add*smiles*
Boner: *smiles back* No prob. So...what U wanna do?
Girl: i dunno *lays back and wacks head on wall*oww i hate when i do that*
Boner: OOO. You OK. *checks out the back of your head* Where'd you hit it?
Girl: *points to back of the head*around there
Boner: *finds the spot and kisses it* Is that the spot?
Girl: yea, thanks
Boner: Feel better?
Girl: a bit it hurts though*rubs head*
Boner: It probably will for a while longer. Try not to think about it too much.
Girl: ok*tries to take mind off the pain*
Boner: I think I can help you with that *starts to french you*
Oh BONER! You were doing so well! However I elected to not inform Boner of the fact that "I start to french you" is little better than "You give me a boner because you're hot." because as it turned out, foreplay had once again paid off and the horrible breech of the fourth wall didn't scare off Boner's date this time. Go for it Boner! We salute you!
1) ----------
Me: *when no one is looking, hides under the bed.*
Me: *sneezes* (it's very dusty under the bed)
Girl: *comes out of her room wearing a tight band t shirt, panties and her headphones blaring MSI. She walks to the fridge and grabs a bottle of coke,makes her way over to the couch*
Me: *Uses solid-snake style stealth action to sneak behind the couch. When the time is right, he steals the coke and refreshes his under-the-bed-dust parched throat.*
Girl: *Sits down on the couch and then wonders what happend to her coke. She then here's the bottle being opened and looks behind her. She raises and eyebrow and coughs* ahem...Lol. If you wanted one you could have asked...Wait.*Her smiles fades* ..Heeyyy..What are you doing in here!?
Me:Ummmm.......
*quickly jumps to his feet and throws his arms in the air*
You have no reason to speak to me! *his voice sounds desperate* I am a simple coatrack!
Girl: *Walks over to you swaying her hips. Gets real close to your face and runs her hand though her hair.* hmm...*smiles, she backs up a bit, her hand slides down her neck and puts her hands on her waste* You look like no coatrack to me. =3
Me: *breaks out into a cold sweat, swallowing hard.*
N... No?
*he pauses for a moment...*
That usally works. What's your Perception sco.....
*He stops mid sentence, and looks around at all the half naked girls.*
Oh SHIT! Those jerks! This isn't the latest session of my Vampire LARP (live action Role Play) is it? I'm gonna SO kill Garry for giving me the wrong address!
For the record, this is what I do on these chat rooms when I can't find any better chat rooms to hang out in. Basically tease and annoy poor hormonal teenaged girls. Cruel, true, but for some reason they keep harassing me long after I prove to be a troll. Must be because I'm a troll with STYLE.
2 ----------
Girl: *throws clothes outside of shower room and turns shower on and yelps cause it's cold and first then it warms up*
Guy: *tip toes in, peeks over at lonely_dancer, takes off clothes and joins her*
Girl: *screeches and crouches down to cover self* wh- who are you!
Guy: Just a guy who thought you were hot. You don't mind if I join you, do you?
Girl: *stands up again and grabs shampoo bottle* I guess but keep the conversation up. I'm Annaliese by the way call me Anna.
Guy: *checks you out* Pleasure to meet you "Anna". My name is Matthew, but you can call me Matt. (Note: NOT ME)
Girl: *smiles and nods* Nice to meet you Matt. *turns back and wahes hair*
Guy: *I put my hands in your hair, helping you. You feel my boner*
Girl: Alright that's it! *shoves you out of shower and wraps a towel around herself* you sicko!!!!! *stomps down the hall to her room*
Guy: *wraps towel around himself, follows* What? I was only trying to help. It's not my fault I have a boner because you're so hot.
After this, I sent a private message to the guy, who I had decided would forever be known as "Boner" in my mind. and told him his trolling was absolutley genious and that my sides were splitting. Having been completely serious, he was a little miffed with me. So I ventured to give him a tip or two and explained that PERHAPS he was being a bit too unsubtle. I had renewed hope for Boner however when he struck up another conversation with another girl: 2 ----------
Girl: *goes inot dorm room and starts to blast music by three doors down*
Boner: *Walks in, head banging to 3 Doors Down* I LOVE THIS GROUP!
Girl: yea me too*continues to listen*
Boner: I figured as much considering you were blasting 'em.
Girl: yea true*goes and sits on bed*
Boner: *points to spot beside her* That spot taken?
Girl: nope
Boner: May I?
Girl: sur
Boner: *sits down beside her, hands accidentally touch* *blushes* sorry.
Girl: *looks at him*its ok my name is becca by the way
Boner: Nice to meet you. I'm Matt.
Girl: nice to meet you 2
Boner: So...is this your dorm room?
Girl: yea
Boner: any roomies? *tries not to check her out*
Girl: nope just me*notices him looking at her and blushses a bit*
Boner: *quickly looks away* uh...yeah. that's cool. It must get pretty lonely, being by yourself, huh?
Girl: yea but i like not having a roomie they are so annoying
Boner: It all depends on who you get I guess *stares into her eyes*
Girl: yea i guess*stares back into his eyes*
Boner: *blushes* *thinks: Oh man, I think she likes me. OK. Don't screw this up. This is the first girl who's liked me back.*
Girl: *blushes and quickly turns head nervously*
Boner: You ok?
Girl: yea im just kinda nervous round sum guys
Boner: You don't have to be nervous around me. Can I add you to my friends list?
Girl: yea
Boner: I just added you. Are you nervous anymore?
Girl: not really and thanks for the add*smiles*
Boner: *smiles back* No prob. So...what U wanna do?
Girl: i dunno *lays back and wacks head on wall*oww i hate when i do that*
Boner: OOO. You OK. *checks out the back of your head* Where'd you hit it?
Girl: *points to back of the head*around there
Boner: *finds the spot and kisses it* Is that the spot?
Girl: yea, thanks
Boner: Feel better?
Girl: a bit it hurts though*rubs head*
Boner: It probably will for a while longer. Try not to think about it too much.
Girl: ok*tries to take mind off the pain*
Boner: I think I can help you with that *starts to french you*
Oh BONER! You were doing so well! However I elected to not inform Boner of the fact that "I start to french you" is little better than "You give me a boner because you're hot." because as it turned out, foreplay had once again paid off and the horrible breech of the fourth wall didn't scare off Boner's date this time. Go for it Boner! We salute you!