Comments | undepressme: 1 Sentence Challenge - Axel x Cloud

undepressme

1 Sentence Challenge - Axel x Cloud - Delta

Nov 03, 2006 21:51

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Pairing: Axel x Cloud Strife
Theme set: Delta
Rating: PG-13 (unsure)
For: 1sentence

Notes: ...Some of them can be put together, and others have nothing to do with the rest. And I realize I focus everything in Hollow Bastion, but I really don't know the Organization too well except for about five members. x.X

( Theme Delta )

1sentence, axelxcloud, kingdom hearts, toc

Comments 3

fantasia0829 November 5 2006, 08:56:09 UTC

Read this on ff.net first, but ha... I didn't review there. Anyway, another lovely Axel/Cloud/Axel onesentence!

My only suggestion is that you could perhaps rearrange the sentences to give them more of a chronological feel? The parts about Axel dying were kinda jarring in the middle, especially when the next sentence is kinda sappy and sweet.

Other than that, I love it. ^^ #36 almost killed me though. So bittersweet.

undepressme November 5 2006, 11:09:20 UTC

We can rearrange them? Didn't see that in the FAQ...I'm probably blind though. Thanks for letting me know and I'll see what I can do to fix it.

fantasia0829 November 5 2006, 12:18:52 UTC

You mean the FAQ for onesentences? Yeah, I think it says somewhere that we don't need to follow the order, which would mean we can arrange the sentences however we want.