i dont know what i just did. 
and i feel really sad about it...

and i feel really sad about everything. 

i  lasted a little over a month and i cant do it any more.
i am about to be out of my parents house again, for the third time this year in less than a week.
hopefully i can still save to not only get out of my parents house, but out of this god damn town.

state. country. world.

chico is a joke.

Tonight was aweful. It made me not feel like this is not worth it. I feel sad that you can let yourself live like this, but I can not.

Tonight, there was blood all over the floor dripping from his arms. He left in a hurry after breaking everything and his car is still not here. I pray to God he went over the edge. I dont want to see him anymore.

I ( Read more... )

I can not seem to find my pants right now.
I feel fire in my throat.
My paper journal is my best friend.
I love moving like I'm a ballerina.
Drink drink. Drink on.  

A form of expression.
In two days I have realized I am doing what I am "expected" to do. 
I have added ten new things to my Dreams List.
Before now, I have never imagined anything like this could be possible for me.
Why the fuck not... Why the fuck cant I do what I love to do, and be myself in doing that.

Why the fuck would I ever think I'd want to ( Read more... )

we need to get naked.

I want my life to be amazing. I dont want to be another suit enclosed in a cubicle.
My plans of life are finally coming together.

Je suis habite de Pau.

waiting will be just a little while longer.

I have never missed a place so much as much as I miss my bedroom at the top of apartment 5 on 2nd avenue.
I cant get over how I have no place to go. I have no place to call my own. Not one room in this entire world.

I dont remember even spending that much time in my room there, or even on my 5th st. bedroom. but if its not there, then where? where do ( Read more... )

sor·ry 
-adjective, 1.an expression of regret, compunction, sympathy, or pity
The morning of the 5th day was... amazing.
I cant believe.
That its only been five days. Literally, but technically seven.

The second I left, was the worse day of my life.
I fucking hate going on dates with nine year olds.
Me and my dumb fucking drunk mouth.

I will never be sorry ( Read more... )