One-Night Stand Forever - [Twenty-Three]
"I cannot believe that went down. I didn't even know Jon possessed the capability of actually harming another living organism!" Brendon exclaimed, strolling behind Ryan on the walk up to the apartment door. Ryan shifted the carrier in his hands and stepped aside for Brendon to fish through denim pockets for the key.
Upon entering the apartment, Ryan felt the urge to notify his mom of their return, but hastily remembered that she was working double shifts. Again. The guilt grew further, constricting his esophagus.
His mother had only seen the baby once, three hours after he was born, and then she was forced to take off for the diner. Ryan had wanted her to stay, had wanted her there more than anyone, but he had glanced down at a pair of gurgling lips and a button nose and recalled her spiel about always taking care of the family, always being there for the baby.
The nursery, although it was solely a part of Ryan's room, reminded Ryan of how much support his mom had already given him. The walls were a pale yellow, and they clashed greatly with the dirty berber, but they captured the sunshine beautifully, allowing it to blanket the sandy wood of the crib in a golden hue. Toys were already splayed about the carpet: a plastic rocketship, a chewing ring, a slinky dog. Ryan breathed in his immense luck as he set the sleeping bundle down onto the sunshine yellow of the crib's dressings. He spun the mobile and let it rotate for the first time, producing a quiet, easy tune and setting off the raincloud, smiling sun, and rainbow attached to the strings.
Brendon waddled in a minute later with two hands working on his zipper.
"That was probably the longest piss I've ever taken in my entire life," he whispered. Ryan still shushed him. "Those goddamn hospital bathrooms freak me the fuck out. The lights are always flickering!" Ryan watched Brendon's facial expression transform from one of irritation to another of contentment at the sight of lengthy eyelashes cast across chubby cheeks. His eyes moved to Ryan's studious glare. "What?"
"Nothing," Ryan sighed, leaving the room almost immediately, but not before casting one last glance back at the crib. He heard the footsteps tagging along and didn't stop to turn towards Brendon, just kept on moving into the bathroom.
Behind the fabric of the shirt he was removing, he heard a muffled, "Is this about the name thing? It took us nearly twelve hours of locking everyone out of the room to decide on one, so you better not be reconsidering. I'm pretty sure it was an agreed upon issue."
"It was," Ryan assured him. He lifted the knob of the shower, releasing a fountain of water. Stepping under the warm spray felt like relief to every single bone in his body despite the fact that he was still a bit wobbly on his legs. The pain from the stitches was residing, but barely making itself known.
Brendon appeared from behind the beige curtain in seconds. Ryan shuffled about until his body was receiving most of the shower head's release.
"No fair!" the dark-haired boy whined. The shiver in his tone had an effect on Ryan's feet, almost magically causing them to slide a few inches over. The inches remaining were immediately housed by a cold, naked body.
The minutes of silence that followed were characterized by calculating gazes and repressed words.
"Tell me what's wrong." At the feel of rough palms skating across his hipbones, Ryan scrubbed lavender shampoo harder into his scalp. "Is it something I did?" Ryan shook his head from where he was now positioned in front of the other boy. "Is it something someone else did?" More foamy droplets catapulted into Brendon's curious eyes. "Is it something you did?"
Violently, Ryan pried the hands from his midsection and turned to face Brendon. "I don't know what the fuck it is, okay? Maybe it's that you're still here. You're supposed to be gone by now! Every two weeks, remember?" Brendon took a step back.
"But, I don-"
"I don't want you to feel like you have to stay here because of Gabriel! I'm not going to be some depressed, lonely single mother the second you step foot outside of the door!"
A shrill cry resounded from across the hall and Brendon jumped from the shower, wrapping a towel around himself. Ryan followed close behind.
"I'll go warm up a bottle," Brendon said. He sprinted in the direction of the kitchen. A flash of pale skin and cranberry fabric took off for Ryan's room.
When Ryan arrived at the crib, Gabriel was thrashing around, walnut-sized fists raised in the air and a reddening forehead. He scooped the baby into his arms carefully, humming under his breath and rocking his arms in hopes of calming the cries. The noises lessened to whimpers as soon as the baby had the opportunity to curl himself into Ryan's chest.
Brendon observed the interaction from the doorway; Ryan's grinning eyes and his son's grabby hands. Something low in his stomach tumbled about at the scene. He reluctantly released his grip on the archway and ventured into the room, offering the bottle to Ryan, who then placed it against Gabriel's lips.
"Hungry," Brendon remarked, searching for a change of expression on the boy next to him. The atmosphere was more than awkward, and he wanted to change that as fast as possible.
Ryan wasn't cooperating. His eyes remained locked on those lazy, hazel ones mirroring his own.
Brendon huffed and leaned forward to press his lips onto Gabriel's temple. "I'm going out," he said.
Ryan reacted with a subtle eyebrow raise.
Just like that, Brendon left. Ryan had no idea where he went, or how long he was going to be out, or why he had left at all, but he guessed it had something to do with their earlier quarrel. He couldn't help but to blame himself. Maybe if he hadn't pushed so hard or acted so high and mighty Brendon wouldn't have walked out the door. He would've spent more time with Ryan and the baby.
With nothing less than a racing mind filled with worried thoughts, Ryan carried himself and Gabriel over to his twin bed, settling down so that Gabriel was encompassed by his arm. He held his baby close and closed his eyes, images of free laughter and long lashes dancing in the newfound darkness.
--
"Best friend party!"
The shouted words tugged Ryan out of his slumber and left him glancing around his room. The sky outside of the window was now a navy blue sea, dotted with sparkling lights, and Gabriel was sound asleep at his side, drool shimmering on the collar of his forest green onesie.
William burst through the door with a questioning expression that left Ryan roaring with laughter. The bottle of champagne in his right hand had to be a joke.
Once his best friend gathered his surroundings, William spat a quick, "Shut up! You'll wake him!"
Ryan's eyes went wide. Sure enough, a deafening wail snaked its way around the walls, causing William to drop the glass bottle on the end of the bed and rush over to the baby.
"Don't worry, Gaby baby," he cooed. Gabriel sobbed into his shoulder. "Uncle Bill is here." William scrunched his nose. "Never mind, that makes me sound like a cowboy. Just call me Will, seeing as I do make up half of your middle name and everything."
Ryan sat up and grinned at his friend's boasting. It had taken him and Brendon hours to think up the perfect name. Of course there were always the millions of other names to choose from, but they both desired something that had a meaning not only to them, but to the baby as well. Hence, they settled their disputes over the best friend argument and thought back to the night Gabriel had been conceived.
"Gabe! What's your snakes name?" Brendon had asked, popping outside of the door for mere seconds before racing back to his seat by Ryan's hospital bed. Suspicions rose, but Ryan was not naming his kid 'Hot Mess', no matter how many times Gabe pounded on the door demanding to hear that the baby and the snake were assured to be "name twinsies for life". The glimmer in Brendon's eyes at the words said it all, and it was set: Gabriel Wilder ("It's the closest thing to William plus Walker that doesn't sound dirty," Ryan had reasoned) Ross-Urie.
"Oh, God!" William cried. "Someone did a stinky poo, didn't they? A wittle poopy in their panties?"
Ryan rolled his eyes goodheartedly and slid off of the bed onto the floor. "Bring him down here."
"Where's Brendon?"
Long fingers paused above the diaper bag set under the bedroom window. They were speedy to resume their collection of the required items.
"Don't know," Ryan muttered. In his opinion, his voice held a tone that was quite indifferent. Right on target.
Unfortunately, William's 'best friend' ears picked up the slightest hint of disappointment. "He's a dick, Ryan. A grade-A dick. Don't feel pressured to be in a relationship with him just because he's the father of your child."
Ryan pressed his fingers onto the last tape of the diaper, securing it. He stood with Gabriel in his arms. "He's not a dick. He was there for every available visiting hour during the four days I spent in recovery."
William backed up to the door and poked his head into the hallway. "Speak of the devil."
"There," Brendon said, appearing in the doorway and tossing a flyer onto Ryan's bed. Rent a one-bedroom apartment for only $399 a month! The pictures weren't so appealing, only previewing cracked wallpaper and a rusty bathroom. Brendon couldn't have… no. "I'll be out of your hair within a week, Ross."
Somewhere in the background of Ryan's spinning room, William breathed a, "Thank God."
Ryan's stomach fell to his feet. Something resembling a cotton ball became lodged in his throat and he swallowed, willing it to remove itself, but it refused. "Bren," he tried.
"What are you doing here?" Brendon asked the boy cocking his hip by the closet.
"Being an awesome best friend," William stated. "What are you doing here?"
Brendon eyed the champagne bottle swimming in the comforter of Ryan's bed. "Being a dad. I suppose I'll be sleeping in here with him tonight?"
"Aren't we both slee-"
Round, dark eyes shot to Ryan's and spoke a threat. If you tell anyone… "If you and William are going to be drinking, I'm guessing it's going to be on the couch. Therefore, I'll be sleeping in here."
It was their first night home from the hospital. He had waited four days for this; to sleep in his house with his baby in the crib right across the room. Their first night as a family and he would be out on the couch, leaving Brendon's perfect, happy, little family in his room. It felt like defeat.
He wasn't giving up that easily. He hoped Brendon could deal with sharing a part of each others' families.
Ryan got to work on thinking up polite methods of denying William's offer.
Upon entering the apartment, Ryan felt the urge to notify his mom of their return, but hastily remembered that she was working double shifts. Again. The guilt grew further, constricting his esophagus.
His mother had only seen the baby once, three hours after he was born, and then she was forced to take off for the diner. Ryan had wanted her to stay, had wanted her there more than anyone, but he had glanced down at a pair of gurgling lips and a button nose and recalled her spiel about always taking care of the family, always being there for the baby.
The nursery, although it was solely a part of Ryan's room, reminded Ryan of how much support his mom had already given him. The walls were a pale yellow, and they clashed greatly with the dirty berber, but they captured the sunshine beautifully, allowing it to blanket the sandy wood of the crib in a golden hue. Toys were already splayed about the carpet: a plastic rocketship, a chewing ring, a slinky dog. Ryan breathed in his immense luck as he set the sleeping bundle down onto the sunshine yellow of the crib's dressings. He spun the mobile and let it rotate for the first time, producing a quiet, easy tune and setting off the raincloud, smiling sun, and rainbow attached to the strings.
Brendon waddled in a minute later with two hands working on his zipper.
"That was probably the longest piss I've ever taken in my entire life," he whispered. Ryan still shushed him. "Those goddamn hospital bathrooms freak me the fuck out. The lights are always flickering!" Ryan watched Brendon's facial expression transform from one of irritation to another of contentment at the sight of lengthy eyelashes cast across chubby cheeks. His eyes moved to Ryan's studious glare. "What?"
"Nothing," Ryan sighed, leaving the room almost immediately, but not before casting one last glance back at the crib. He heard the footsteps tagging along and didn't stop to turn towards Brendon, just kept on moving into the bathroom.
Behind the fabric of the shirt he was removing, he heard a muffled, "Is this about the name thing? It took us nearly twelve hours of locking everyone out of the room to decide on one, so you better not be reconsidering. I'm pretty sure it was an agreed upon issue."
"It was," Ryan assured him. He lifted the knob of the shower, releasing a fountain of water. Stepping under the warm spray felt like relief to every single bone in his body despite the fact that he was still a bit wobbly on his legs. The pain from the stitches was residing, but barely making itself known.
Brendon appeared from behind the beige curtain in seconds. Ryan shuffled about until his body was receiving most of the shower head's release.
"No fair!" the dark-haired boy whined. The shiver in his tone had an effect on Ryan's feet, almost magically causing them to slide a few inches over. The inches remaining were immediately housed by a cold, naked body.
The minutes of silence that followed were characterized by calculating gazes and repressed words.
"Tell me what's wrong." At the feel of rough palms skating across his hipbones, Ryan scrubbed lavender shampoo harder into his scalp. "Is it something I did?" Ryan shook his head from where he was now positioned in front of the other boy. "Is it something someone else did?" More foamy droplets catapulted into Brendon's curious eyes. "Is it something you did?"
Violently, Ryan pried the hands from his midsection and turned to face Brendon. "I don't know what the fuck it is, okay? Maybe it's that you're still here. You're supposed to be gone by now! Every two weeks, remember?" Brendon took a step back.
"But, I don-"
"I don't want you to feel like you have to stay here because of Gabriel! I'm not going to be some depressed, lonely single mother the second you step foot outside of the door!"
A shrill cry resounded from across the hall and Brendon jumped from the shower, wrapping a towel around himself. Ryan followed close behind.
"I'll go warm up a bottle," Brendon said. He sprinted in the direction of the kitchen. A flash of pale skin and cranberry fabric took off for Ryan's room.
When Ryan arrived at the crib, Gabriel was thrashing around, walnut-sized fists raised in the air and a reddening forehead. He scooped the baby into his arms carefully, humming under his breath and rocking his arms in hopes of calming the cries. The noises lessened to whimpers as soon as the baby had the opportunity to curl himself into Ryan's chest.
Brendon observed the interaction from the doorway; Ryan's grinning eyes and his son's grabby hands. Something low in his stomach tumbled about at the scene. He reluctantly released his grip on the archway and ventured into the room, offering the bottle to Ryan, who then placed it against Gabriel's lips.
"Hungry," Brendon remarked, searching for a change of expression on the boy next to him. The atmosphere was more than awkward, and he wanted to change that as fast as possible.
Ryan wasn't cooperating. His eyes remained locked on those lazy, hazel ones mirroring his own.
Brendon huffed and leaned forward to press his lips onto Gabriel's temple. "I'm going out," he said.
Ryan reacted with a subtle eyebrow raise.
Just like that, Brendon left. Ryan had no idea where he went, or how long he was going to be out, or why he had left at all, but he guessed it had something to do with their earlier quarrel. He couldn't help but to blame himself. Maybe if he hadn't pushed so hard or acted so high and mighty Brendon wouldn't have walked out the door. He would've spent more time with Ryan and the baby.
With nothing less than a racing mind filled with worried thoughts, Ryan carried himself and Gabriel over to his twin bed, settling down so that Gabriel was encompassed by his arm. He held his baby close and closed his eyes, images of free laughter and long lashes dancing in the newfound darkness.
--
"Best friend party!"
The shouted words tugged Ryan out of his slumber and left him glancing around his room. The sky outside of the window was now a navy blue sea, dotted with sparkling lights, and Gabriel was sound asleep at his side, drool shimmering on the collar of his forest green onesie.
William burst through the door with a questioning expression that left Ryan roaring with laughter. The bottle of champagne in his right hand had to be a joke.
Once his best friend gathered his surroundings, William spat a quick, "Shut up! You'll wake him!"
Ryan's eyes went wide. Sure enough, a deafening wail snaked its way around the walls, causing William to drop the glass bottle on the end of the bed and rush over to the baby.
"Don't worry, Gaby baby," he cooed. Gabriel sobbed into his shoulder. "Uncle Bill is here." William scrunched his nose. "Never mind, that makes me sound like a cowboy. Just call me Will, seeing as I do make up half of your middle name and everything."
Ryan sat up and grinned at his friend's boasting. It had taken him and Brendon hours to think up the perfect name. Of course there were always the millions of other names to choose from, but they both desired something that had a meaning not only to them, but to the baby as well. Hence, they settled their disputes over the best friend argument and thought back to the night Gabriel had been conceived.
"Gabe! What's your snakes name?" Brendon had asked, popping outside of the door for mere seconds before racing back to his seat by Ryan's hospital bed. Suspicions rose, but Ryan was not naming his kid 'Hot Mess', no matter how many times Gabe pounded on the door demanding to hear that the baby and the snake were assured to be "name twinsies for life". The glimmer in Brendon's eyes at the words said it all, and it was set: Gabriel Wilder ("It's the closest thing to William plus Walker that doesn't sound dirty," Ryan had reasoned) Ross-Urie.
"Oh, God!" William cried. "Someone did a stinky poo, didn't they? A wittle poopy in their panties?"
Ryan rolled his eyes goodheartedly and slid off of the bed onto the floor. "Bring him down here."
"Where's Brendon?"
Long fingers paused above the diaper bag set under the bedroom window. They were speedy to resume their collection of the required items.
"Don't know," Ryan muttered. In his opinion, his voice held a tone that was quite indifferent. Right on target.
Unfortunately, William's 'best friend' ears picked up the slightest hint of disappointment. "He's a dick, Ryan. A grade-A dick. Don't feel pressured to be in a relationship with him just because he's the father of your child."
Ryan pressed his fingers onto the last tape of the diaper, securing it. He stood with Gabriel in his arms. "He's not a dick. He was there for every available visiting hour during the four days I spent in recovery."
William backed up to the door and poked his head into the hallway. "Speak of the devil."
"There," Brendon said, appearing in the doorway and tossing a flyer onto Ryan's bed. Rent a one-bedroom apartment for only $399 a month! The pictures weren't so appealing, only previewing cracked wallpaper and a rusty bathroom. Brendon couldn't have… no. "I'll be out of your hair within a week, Ross."
Somewhere in the background of Ryan's spinning room, William breathed a, "Thank God."
Ryan's stomach fell to his feet. Something resembling a cotton ball became lodged in his throat and he swallowed, willing it to remove itself, but it refused. "Bren," he tried.
"What are you doing here?" Brendon asked the boy cocking his hip by the closet.
"Being an awesome best friend," William stated. "What are you doing here?"
Brendon eyed the champagne bottle swimming in the comforter of Ryan's bed. "Being a dad. I suppose I'll be sleeping in here with him tonight?"
"Aren't we both slee-"
Round, dark eyes shot to Ryan's and spoke a threat. If you tell anyone… "If you and William are going to be drinking, I'm guessing it's going to be on the couch. Therefore, I'll be sleeping in here."
It was their first night home from the hospital. He had waited four days for this; to sleep in his house with his baby in the crib right across the room. Their first night as a family and he would be out on the couch, leaving Brendon's perfect, happy, little family in his room. It felt like defeat.
He wasn't giving up that easily. He hoped Brendon could deal with sharing a part of each others' families.
Ryan got to work on thinking up polite methods of denying William's offer.