Parachutes Chapter 7/8
Title: Parachutes Chapter 7/8
Author: Anna
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17. This chapter is rated NC-17.
Summary: A throwback to the elevator conversation in 7x12 and the events that follow in an A/U sans baby. Arizona, still desperate to reconcile, continues to pursue Callie, and Callie, still hurt and angry, continues to push her away. They know they have to find their way back to each other, but first they have to figure out how.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are property of Shonda Rhimes, ShondaLand, and ABC. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only and I do not profit from it.
A/N: I had a lot of trouble with this chapter - trying to move the story forward while also keeping it believable and realistic. In the end, it's long, but I think I covered all my bases. We've got a little bit of everything here. Oh, and there's more sexytime. This chapter is very smutty, I think more so than the last one. hylen is a f'awesome (thanks, Kate Walsh) beta and also a really fantastic friend. Thanks, lady!!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
In this chapter: Arizona has some of the answers, but she also learns that not being in control all the time is more than okay.
This was the moment, Arizona realized. This was the moment she’d been anticipating ever since she’d made the decision to return to Seattle. This was the new defining moment in her relationship with Callie. It would either make or break them, and Arizona realized with alarm that she was not at all prepared. Here Callie lay, naked, sated, and crying, completely vulnerable after having told Arizona she loved her. What could Arizona say to assuage Callie’s nerves? What could anyone do to assuage her own? And above all else, what did this mean? Were they back together now, or had this just been some kind of test? By Callie’s reaction, Arizona assumed she’d passed, but she wouldn’t know until Callie said anything, and she was afraid to ask.
One thing at a time, Arizona decided. If she had learned anything so far, it was that it was okay not to have all the answers right away. Callie was here and she loved her. “I love you and you love me,” Arizona had repeated over the last days and weeks, but it had been more to comfort herself than to convince Callie of anything. Actually hearing Callie say it, it turned out, was much more effective. She’d admitted to being afraid and Callie hadn’t balked or run away. The two of them had actually sat down and had a real conversation, and nobody got mad, yelled, or threatened to leave anyone. When she had a better grasp of the situation, she’d have to remember to call Teddy and tell her she’d been right.
Rolling onto her back, Arizona pulled Callie to her and pulled a sheet over them so Callie would feel a little less vulnerable. She closed her eyes and pressed gentle kisses to Callie’s head. Callie buried her face into the crook of Arizona’s neck. Both women held on as tightly as they could, and Arizona rocked her body back and forth to the best of her ability.
Callie cried hard, soaking Arizona’s skin with her tears. There was so much she wanted to say, but her mouth wouldn’t work to make the words. Where do we go from here? How do I know you won’t leave again tomorrow?
“I’ve got you,” Arizona murmured. “I’m here now, honey. I’m right here and I won’t leave you again. I love you so much. I’m not leaving, I promise.” Whether a promise from her would mean anything to Callie, Arizona didn’t know. She could only hope that one day it would.
“I missed you so much!” Callie finally choked out. “I was mad and hurt but I just fucking missed you!” They’d been through the talk, but that didn’t make it any easier for Arizona to see Callie this upset, especially when she assumed responsibility for it. She wanted to say something else, but she didn’t know what was left to say. “I love you,” Callie said again. “That’s why this all hurt so much. It would’ve been so much easier to hate you.”
Arizona had to chuckle at that. Callie had also claimed to hate her on the day of the shooting at the hospital, and that certainly hadn’t been the case. “You’re not very good at hating me.”
“I’m really not,” Callie agreed.
The two lapsed into a semi-comfortable silence.
“So…” Arizona ventured. “Now what?”
Callie sighed. “I don’t know. I want to be with you, I do, but I can’t get hurt again. And I know tonight you’ve been proving to me that you’re not going to hurt me anymore, but -”
“You’re still scared,” Arizona said softly. “I get it. I am too. But maybe…maybe we could be scared together. I’m not saying you should move back in with me right away or anything. Maybe we should take it slow. But I want to move forward.”
“I do, too,” Callie agreed. “I don’t want to be scared for the rest of my life, and I definitely don’t want to miss you anymore.” She paused to attempt to stifle a yawn. “Can we not talk about living arrangements right now? I really want to sleep.”
Arizona nodded. “We can sleep. I mean - unless - I just assumed you meant you wanted to sleep here, with me. But if you want to go -”
“Arizona, shut up.”
“I, uh - huh, what?”
“I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since you left. It’s late and it’s been a really long day and an even longer night. I’m still feeling the orgasm you gave me fifteen minutes ago, and I am exhausted. Neither of us is moving from this bed for the next, hmm, thirty-six hours.”
Arizona laughed. “Okay, point taken.” She hesitated. “Can I hold you?”
“I wish you would.”
***
Arizona was having trouble sleeping. Not because she wasn’t tired - to the contrary, sleep had never sounded like a better idea - but because, even despite Callie’s tearful confession of love, Arizona honestly had no idea where they were going to go from here. She missed the days when the two of them lying in bed together was nothing more than sleepy arms tightening around waists, half-coherent mumblings, and faces buried in manes of sweet-smelling hair. Those days were over, at least for the foreseeable future, and while Callie didn’t seem closed to the idea of reintroducing them at some point, Arizona didn’t know how the hell they were going to get there. She had a feeling Callie didn’t, either. She considered going to Teddy for advice again, but Arizona decided that Teddy had helped her enough. This was her relationship, her own uncharted ground to navigate.
Callie stirred and mumbled something that was some mix of Spanish and gibberish and burrowed further into Arizona’s arms. Arizona tightened her hold. Sleeping, Callie looked completely carefree. There wasn’t a crease or worry line to be found on her face. Her full, pink lips were slightly parted and one strand of hair swept across her forehead. Even after everything that had happened between them, Arizona found her breath hitching at how astonishingly gorgeous she found the other woman. And the fact that she was really here, in Arizona’s bed, in her arms; the fact that she had let Arizona touch her, had asked Arizona to hold her; the fact that she told Arizona she loved her…how did that tear get on her cheek?
No matter what happened, Arizona knew, beyond all measurable doubt, that this absolutely could not be the last time they lay like this together. For the first time since leaving for Malawi - probably even before that, if she really thought about it - she felt whole. She had admitted all of her deepest fears and secrets to the woman she loved. She had jumped and trusted Callie to catch her before she fell into an abyss, and Callie had. She had begun to trust; she had begun to need. And it was okay.
So now, the only real remaining problem was how to prove to Callie that this new okay-ness was permanent. She had already apologized and made her promises. She’d said the words. She’d shown Callie with her body that she’d never hurt her again. What was left? Short of coming home to Callie every day and showing her she was still there, she wasn’t sure. The ball was sitting, figuratively of course, atop the net between their two courts.
Maybe it was the little things. Their relationship had once thrived on the little things, and it had been those, not the grand gestures, that had ultimately made her and Callie so successful. The smiles, quick little touches, the text messages. The coffee dates, the movie nights, the hand holding. When Callie went through her mail, she made sure to save the magazines and articles she thought Arizona would find interesting. Arizona made sure to add Callie’s favorite movies to her Netflix queue.
Somewhere, in the post-hospital shooting, pre-Africa, post-moving in haze, Arizona had lost sight of the little things. She supposed that was what happened when you were too busy being afraid of the other shoe dropping to talk to your partner. Yes, they’d start with the little things this time and gradually work their way to, and ultimately past, where they had been. It would be slow, but it would be so worth it. Arizona smiled to herself and pressed a soft kiss to Callie’s temple. Now that she had a plan, albeit a somewhat abstract one, Arizona felt herself begin to relax. Sleep should come easily now.
It didn’t.
As it turned out, there was still one more problem: Callie had had a fabulous orgasm and Arizona had not. And now that she was thinking about it, she couldn’t not think about it. The way Callie had bucked her hips, the way she’d cried out, how wet and ready she had been…not to mention how she’d smelled and tasted…okay, that wasn’t helping. Arizona squeezed her thighs together, which proved almost completely pointless as her wetness seemed determined to seep out anyway. Slowly, she slid one hand down between her legs to cup herself through her pants. It felt good, but she really wanted Callie to touch her, and no amount of imagining could convince her that her own hand was Callie’s - not when the real thing was right there next to her.
Arizona weighed her options. She could force herself to sleep and hope that Callie would take care of her when they woke up, assuming no one’s pager went off. She could touch herself, just to tide herself over, until she could get the real deal. Or - and she was leaning heavily in favor of this final option despite how peaceful Callie looked - she could wake Callie up. After all, she reasoned, while sex shouldn’t be used as a substitute for talking, actions did speak louder than words. And Arizona considered lovemaking one of the little things that defined her and Callie’s relationship. (It wasn’t so much a little thing as a big, amazing, very important thing, but it served essentially the same purpose, so Arizona counted it for the sake of argument.) Besides, Arizona wanted to continue proving to Callie how much she loved her, and part of that was showing her how her body craved her. Yes, Callie was exhausted, but she could sleep when they were done. Given how worked up Arizona was already, she didn’t anticipate it taking too long.
Rolling onto her side, Arizona pressed herself against Callie’s thigh and swallowed back a loud sigh. Yeah, this definitely couldn’t wait. She tightened her hold around Callie’s middle, rocking her hips a little harder and willing Callie to wake up. She began lightly scraping her nails up and down Callie’s left arm. She shivered, but remained asleep. Arizona let a frustrated groan escape from the back of her throat. Going for broke, she nipped lightly at Callie’s shoulder.
“Hrrmph,” Callie finally mumbled, eyes still closed. “Whatayoudoin’?” Arizona responded by rocking her hips again. “’M sleeping,” Callie grumbled, to which Arizona replied with a whine.
“I’ll let you sleep for a week after,” Arizona pleaded. “I love you. I’ve missed you. My body missed you and watching you come made me really, really…” Arizona rocked her hips a third time for emphasis. “…Impatient.” Callie sighed Arizona could tell she was wearing her down. “You’re so, so beautiful and I love you so much and my body really wants you.” She scraped her nails and rocked her hips at the same time. “Please?”
“You’re doing that pouty eyelash thing, aren’t you?” Callie asked without turning over.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Callie sighed, but it was definitely a dramatic sigh, not by any means an irritated one. She was tired, yes, but the day she turned down making love to Arizona would be the day she checked herself onto a psych ward. She rolled over onto her back and Arizona immediately climbed on top of her, pinning her with a kiss. Her hands found Callie’s breasts in seconds.
“Oh, no,” Callie said, grabbing Arizona’s hands. “No way are you topping me again. I’m in control this time.” She rolled again and flipped Arizona onto her back.
Stunned, but mostly disappointed at the loss of friction, Arizona said, “Huh?”
“Arizona,” Callie said gently, softly tracing the line of Arizona’s jaw with her finger, “I love you. But you can’t control everything all the time. Sometimes you have to let me. Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” Arizona answered without missing a beat.
Callie nodded. “It’s okay,” she said, reading the fear in Arizona’s eyes and hearing what she wasn’t saying. “It’s okay not to be in control sometimes. I know it’s hard. But I’ll keep you safe.” Arizona nodded, throat suddenly tight with emotion. Callie would keep her safe; of that she was absolutely certain. Here was that defining moment again. She was about to relinquish control; she was going to trust. And she was going to come out of it just fine. She was a good man in a storm, and she could feel it starting to drizzle.
Speaking of drizzling, her underwear was soaked.
From her perch atop Arizona’s hips, Callie leaned down and kissed her, slipping her tongue inside Arizona’s mouth. Callie’s tongue stroked Arizona’s rhythmically as one hand dropped down to rub slow circles on her side. Arizona’s whole body tingled.
“Callie, please,” Arizona whined. “I know you’re in control, and that’s fine, but…” She bucked her hips up into Callie’s. “…I can’t wait.”
Callie smirked and unbuckled Arizona’s belt as torturously slowly as she could. She slipped one hand inside, straight past her underwear, and cupped her. She had to bite her lip and close her eyes - Arizona was so beyond wet that it practically felt like she was flowing into Callie’s hand. “Oh, wow,” she whispered. “Arizona…wow. I guess you really can’t wait, can you?” Arizona shook her head and whimpered. As tempted as Callie was to take Arizona right now, just like this, she wasn’t going to give up her control that quickly. Besides, she had waited far too long for this. Reluctantly on both women’s parts, Callie removed her hand and held it close to Arizona’s face. Arizona gasped. The sight of her essence coating Callie’s hand and the sweet, hot, tangy smell triggered another rush of moisture. Locking eyes with Callie, Arizona extended her tongue and licked every drop of herself from Callie’s palm. She moaned at the taste, the one Callie experienced every time she went down on her. No wonder Callie enjoyed it so much.
As a compromise, Callie decided to skip the foreplay. “There’s…something I want to try,” she said, reining in her own sudden re-emergence of arousal. “I just have to, uh, find it. I think it’s in one of the boxes.” Arizona could barely process language. She nodded slowly and whimpered as Callie got up. It was all she could do to lie still until she returned and try not to float away on her own want. The fact that she watched Callie saunter out of the room completely naked did absolutely nothing to help.
When they had initially packed for the move to Malawi and put most of their belongings in storage, Callie had taken it upon herself to pack the “toy chest.” She had labeled it “cleaning supplies” so as not to arouse suspicion if anyone else happened upon it. She found the box on a stool at the breakfast bar. Arizona had obviously thought it really did contain cleaning supplies, and Callie was glad she hadn’t had time to clean yet. After opening the box and rooting around for a moment, Callie found what she was looking for.
It took some time, but Arizona eventually peeled her eyes away from Callie’s bouncing chest to see what was in her hand. Her eyes widened and her heart picked up. Hanging from Callie’s right hand was a pair of silk scarves she’d never seen before. One was light blue, almost the color of Arizona’s eyes, and the other was a deep purple. Callie was going to tie her up. No one had ever done that with her before. No one had even so much as suggested it. The idea made Arizona simultaneously panic and tremble with excitement. This would be the ultimate relinquishment of control. She would be at Callie’s mercy, with no say in what happened. Arizona forced herself to choke back her blinding fear. She had to prove to Callie that she could tolerate letting her be in control, or Callie would feel like the relationship wasn’t equal - which, Arizona had to admit, it wouldn’t be. She knew Callie wouldn’t hurt her. She knew Callie couldn’t hurt her - she simply wasn’t capable. Callie loved her and had promised to keep her safe, and Arizona trusted that promise implicitly. She was learning to trust and she was learning to like it. But the sight of the scarves was jarring nonetheless.
“I want to try this,” Callie began, holding up the scarves in her hand. “I’m going to be in charge. I know it’s intense and kind of scary, but I won’t hurt you. I promise I won’t.” Arizona nodded. She knew. “But if you need me to stop, I want you to tell me. What’s your word going to be?”
Arizona thought about it for a minute, her first foray into kink not something she wanted to take lightly. She wanted her safe word to be something that made sense for her, for them. “Blue,” she finally said, nodding toward the blue scarf Callie held.
“Okay,” Callie agreed, cracking a smile. “If you want me to stop, for any reason, you say blue, and I’ll stop. No questions asked.”
“Okay,” Arizona whispered.
Slowly, Callie crossed the room to the bed. “Arms,” she demanded, and Arizona extended hers. Callie tied her left wrist to the headboard with the purple scarf and kissed where she’d made the knot. When she picked up Arizona’s right wrist, Callie squeezed her hand and threaded their fingers together. Arizona squeezed back and then let Callie tie her with the blue scarf. “Too tight?” Callie asked. Arizona tested the strength of the scarves. They were tied tightly, securely, but they didn’t hurt. She shook her head. “Good.” Even in the dark room, Arizona could see the sudden darkening of Callie’s eyes. She shivered, but whether that shiver was from fear or excitement she wasn’t sure. Maybe it was both.
Callie rose to stand at the foot of the bed. “Now,” she said, her voice dropping to a low husk, “what are we going to do about these pants you’re still wearing for some reason?” She motioned to Arizona’s still-clothed bottom half. “I bet they’re soaking wet, aren’t they?” All at once, Arizona felt a new wave of excitement rush through her. Fear forgotten, at least temporarily, she remembered just how aroused she was. She bit her lip and nodded. Callie climbed onto the bed, kneeling at the end so she loomed over Arizona. Arizona’s mouth went dry at the vision of this woman naked and mentally devouring her. It was hard to decide what to focus on - Callie’s full breasts in her direct line of sight, her eyes shining with unadulterated lust, or the space between her legs, where Arizona remembered being just a couple hours ago in vivid detail. Before she could choose, Callie reached out and grabbed Arizona’s waistband, removing her pants and underwear in two strong tugs and tossing them to the floor.
Slowly, too slowly in Arizona’s opinion, Callie positioned herself above Arizona, knees on either side of her hips and hands just above her head. Still bracing herself on one hand, Callie lowered her other hand to Arizona’s center, cupping her firmly. Her mouth dropped to Arizona’s left breast and she wasted no time in drawing it inside, sucking it rhythmically and flicking her nipple with her tongue. Callie had decided earlier to skip the foreplay, but that was before she had seen Arizona naked and wet, tied to her headboard, absolutely desperate to be taken. Callie amended her earlier promise and vowed to keep the foreplay shorter than usual.
Arizona groaned loudly when Callie began to squeeze her pussy in rhythm with the mouth sucking her breast. Callie switched breasts and grazed her nipple with her teeth, still keeping up the erotic rhythm, and Arizona knew she would come in no time. She longed to thread her fingers into Callie’s hair, to draw her up for a kiss, but her hands hung helplessly above her head. She settled for throwing her head back, closing her eyes, and moaning. So far, Callie taking control felt absolutely divine, and Arizona was having no misgivings about the situation.
At least, she wasn’t until Callie abruptly removed her hand from her center and her mouth from her breast.
Arizona’s head shot up and her eyes popped open just in time to see Callie suck her fingers into her mouth and lick them clean. As delectable as the sight was, Arizona had been counting on an orgasm, and this put a slight damper in her plans. But as she listened to Callie hum her delight at her taste, she decided to give her the benefit of the doubt for the time being.
Callie crashed her lips to Arizona’s in a searing kiss, tongue darting in to let Arizona taste herself again. Arizona sucked her tongue greedily until Callie withdrew, taking Arizona’s lower lip between her teeth and biting gently.
“Callie, please,” Arizona panted, straining against the scarves and wishing she could force Callie’s head back down to her breasts, or maybe even lower. Callie just smiled and kissed Arizona’s chin. The hand that had been between her legs reached down and pinched a nipple, causing Arizona to cry out and arch her back.
“You’re loud tonight,” Callie said. “I like it.” She lowered her head again and nipped her way down Arizona’s body, continuing down to bite lightly at her inner thighs. She lifted Arizona’s right leg to bite at the space behind her knee. Arizona hissed and flexed her leg, which Callie promptly positioned over her shoulder before moving in for the kill. After making a quick swipe up Arizona’s length, Callie played with her clit, flicking it with her tongue and licking circles around it. One hand moved to Arizona’s thigh to scrape her nails along it. Arizona tensed, feeling her oncoming climax and wishing once again she could move her hands to hold Callie’s head in place. Still, while the sensation of being tied up was unusual, the feelings Callie was evoking in her were too exquisite for her to mind too much.
“Does that feel good?” Callie asked throatily, momentarily lifting her head. “You feel good?”
“Please fuck me, Callie,” Arizona begged. Maybe later she’d remember begging and feel silly or embarrassed, but right now, she was too close to the edge and would fall over it easily if Callie would just…
Two nimble fingers entered Arizona and her whole body bucked off the bed, arms still tied securely behind her. Callie’s tongue continued its assault on Arizona’s clit as she moved her fingers, pushing them in as far as they would go and scissoring them. Arizona moaned louder than she could remember moaning before. Callie dug her nails into Arizona’s thigh to keep her steady on the bed. She dislodged her mouth from her clit long enough to look up and enjoy the sight of Arizona, sweaty and flushed, head thrown back again and pulling at the scarves around her wrists. God, she was beautiful. Truth be told, Callie had dreamed of this moment long before Africa was even a blip on anyone’s radar. She couldn’t imagine a more erotic vision, and Arizona more than did it justice.
Callie began pumping her fingers in time to the flicking of her tongue, and Arizona immediately started bucking her hips in rhythm. She concentrated on the steady in-and-out of those two long fingers, riding them as best she could lying on her back. She felt her channel clenching around them as her wetness poured from her. She was sure the sheet below her was wet. Callie moved her fingers faster and faster and Arizona saw fireworks start to erupt behind her closed eyes.
“I’m gonna come!” she cried. “Oh, god, I’m so close, I -”
Once again, Callie removed her hand and her mouth, and Arizona let out a strained scream. Momentarily forgetting her restraints, she tried to lunge her body forward, only to get caught halfway to sitting and collapse back on the head. She wanted to scream at Callie; she wanted to curse and demand that she return exactly to where she had been. She found, though, that she couldn’t make words happen, and she settled on moaning some more. Arizona breathed heavily, panting and trying to quiet her rapidly beating heart. Callie grinned and sat back on her heels.
Arizona moaned and thrashed, squirming restlessly on the bed and squeezing her thighs together. Callie could see the flexing of Arizona’s strong arm muscles as she strained against the scarves. She sat back and watched as Arizona fought to regain control over the situation. There was no doubt that if her arms weren’t bound, she would either be furiously touching herself or using Callie’s body in any way she could to bring herself pleasure. Arizona made quite a picture: her whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat as her chest heaved and her hips jerked. Her toes curled and her fingers flexed; her wrists pulled and tugged at the scarves. She alternated between squeezing her thighs and spreading them in wanton need, and when she did the latter, she dripped onto the bed. All in all, Callie was having a difficult time maintaining her own control.
“Blue” was on the tip of Arizona’s tongue. What was Callie doing, just sitting there watching her like that? She needed release so badly it was painful. Twice now she had been on the brink of a powerful orgasm and Callie had retreated. In the back of her mind - the part not fueled by sexual energy - she felt fear setting in. Was Callie doing this to torture her? To show her how it felt to be neglected in some way? Logically, she knew that wasn’t it. She had trusted Callie when she’d said she loved her and would keep her safe, and that trust hadn’t dissipated. It was just the situation in which Arizona found herself - bound, naked, powerless, and vulnerable, not to mention beyond sexually frustrated - that gave her pause. She could do one of two things here: she could use her safe word, which she knew Callie wouldn’t hold against her, and retreat back into what she knew, or she could stretch her limits, face the unknown, and maybe learn to enjoy giving up control once in a while.
It took her all of three seconds to decide to go with the second option.
“Callie, please!” she cried, bucking her hips and thrashing from side to side. “Please make me come! I need it! I need it so bad! Please, please fuck me!”
Callie almost came from the begging alone.
Without wasting any more time, Callie plunged three fingers into Arizona with one hand and pinched her clit with the other. She pumped her fingers one, two, three times, gaining momentum with each thrust. Arizona matched Callie’s rhythm immediately, thrusting back onto those fingers even as her legs began to shake. She planted both feet firmly on the bed and spread her legs as wide as she could to give Callie the optimal amount of space. Callie thrust her fingers into Arizona as far as they would go, filling her and stretching her to the brink. Leaning over, she nipped Arizona’s earlobe before whispering, “Let go, Arizona.” Then, when she lowered her head to take Arizona’s nipple between her teeth and simultaneously curled her fingers upward, everything happened at once.
For a split second, Arizona fell into a crushing void. Then, just as quickly, lights exploded behind her eyelids and the most powerful orgasm she had ever felt - no, she was not exaggerating - erupted through her. Completely letting go of all her inhibitions, she arched her back, bucked her hips off the bed, threw her head back, and screamed at the top of her lungs.
She came harder than she knew she had ever come before, hot liquid shooting from her raised hips as she ejaculated. Callie moaned along with her, an orgasm of her own shooting through her triggered by Arizona’s powerful reaction. Arizona came hard and long, panting and whimpering, aftershocks coursing through her as the last of her wetness ran down her legs.
It was some time before her body began to relax, and it took even longer for her breathing to return to some form of normalcy. Callie untied her wrists in the meantime, rubbing them lightly to stimulate blood flow. As she came down, it began to dawn on Arizona what exactly had happened. She had never come like that before; had never begged for it, had never screamed so loudly, had certainly never ejaculated.
“Arizona, it’s okay,” Callie said, feeling Arizona’s body stiffen. “You let go. You lost control. It was beautiful. Not to mention really, really hot.”
“I’ve never done…that. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It was amazing. You felt really good. That was what your body wanted. Now, how do your wrists feel? Sore?”
Arizona shook her head. “No, my wrists are fine. God, I just can’t believe…I’m sorry if I said or did anything that was…I don’t know. I just…”
“Arizona, stop.” Callie cupped Arizona’s face with one hand and kissed her forehead. “I loved every minute of that. Now, come on. Let’s shower and get you cleaned up, and then we’re going back to sleep.”
Arizona nodded bravely. “Okay.”
***
The hot water felt wonderful on Arizona’s skin, having chilled from the sweat that had since begun to evaporate. She still felt a little dazed from the night’s activities, and she stood mutely in the shower, not quite sure of herself.
Callie poured some of Arizona’s apple body wash onto a shower sponge. She ran it gently over Arizona’s body, being sure to maintain eye contact as she moved it between her legs to clean her. Arizona blushed. Once Callie was finished, she dropped the sponge to the shower floor and gathered Arizona into her arms. Arizona leaned against her tiredly, more than ready now to fall into bed and sleep for hours on end.
“Thank you,” Arizona said so softly Callie almost missed it. “Thank you for tonight. For listening to me, for talking to me, for understanding. Thank you for letting me hold you and for making me feel…amazing and taking care of me. Thank you for being here, Calliope.”
“Arizona,” Callie said, hugging her a little tighter, “thank you for trusting me.”
Author: Anna
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17. This chapter is rated NC-17.
Summary: A throwback to the elevator conversation in 7x12 and the events that follow in an A/U sans baby. Arizona, still desperate to reconcile, continues to pursue Callie, and Callie, still hurt and angry, continues to push her away. They know they have to find their way back to each other, but first they have to figure out how.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are property of Shonda Rhimes, ShondaLand, and ABC. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only and I do not profit from it.
A/N: I had a lot of trouble with this chapter - trying to move the story forward while also keeping it believable and realistic. In the end, it's long, but I think I covered all my bases. We've got a little bit of everything here. Oh, and there's more sexytime. This chapter is very smutty, I think more so than the last one. hylen is a f'awesome (thanks, Kate Walsh) beta and also a really fantastic friend. Thanks, lady!!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
In this chapter: Arizona has some of the answers, but she also learns that not being in control all the time is more than okay.
This was the moment, Arizona realized. This was the moment she’d been anticipating ever since she’d made the decision to return to Seattle. This was the new defining moment in her relationship with Callie. It would either make or break them, and Arizona realized with alarm that she was not at all prepared. Here Callie lay, naked, sated, and crying, completely vulnerable after having told Arizona she loved her. What could Arizona say to assuage Callie’s nerves? What could anyone do to assuage her own? And above all else, what did this mean? Were they back together now, or had this just been some kind of test? By Callie’s reaction, Arizona assumed she’d passed, but she wouldn’t know until Callie said anything, and she was afraid to ask.
One thing at a time, Arizona decided. If she had learned anything so far, it was that it was okay not to have all the answers right away. Callie was here and she loved her. “I love you and you love me,” Arizona had repeated over the last days and weeks, but it had been more to comfort herself than to convince Callie of anything. Actually hearing Callie say it, it turned out, was much more effective. She’d admitted to being afraid and Callie hadn’t balked or run away. The two of them had actually sat down and had a real conversation, and nobody got mad, yelled, or threatened to leave anyone. When she had a better grasp of the situation, she’d have to remember to call Teddy and tell her she’d been right.
Rolling onto her back, Arizona pulled Callie to her and pulled a sheet over them so Callie would feel a little less vulnerable. She closed her eyes and pressed gentle kisses to Callie’s head. Callie buried her face into the crook of Arizona’s neck. Both women held on as tightly as they could, and Arizona rocked her body back and forth to the best of her ability.
Callie cried hard, soaking Arizona’s skin with her tears. There was so much she wanted to say, but her mouth wouldn’t work to make the words. Where do we go from here? How do I know you won’t leave again tomorrow?
“I’ve got you,” Arizona murmured. “I’m here now, honey. I’m right here and I won’t leave you again. I love you so much. I’m not leaving, I promise.” Whether a promise from her would mean anything to Callie, Arizona didn’t know. She could only hope that one day it would.
“I missed you so much!” Callie finally choked out. “I was mad and hurt but I just fucking missed you!” They’d been through the talk, but that didn’t make it any easier for Arizona to see Callie this upset, especially when she assumed responsibility for it. She wanted to say something else, but she didn’t know what was left to say. “I love you,” Callie said again. “That’s why this all hurt so much. It would’ve been so much easier to hate you.”
Arizona had to chuckle at that. Callie had also claimed to hate her on the day of the shooting at the hospital, and that certainly hadn’t been the case. “You’re not very good at hating me.”
“I’m really not,” Callie agreed.
The two lapsed into a semi-comfortable silence.
“So…” Arizona ventured. “Now what?”
Callie sighed. “I don’t know. I want to be with you, I do, but I can’t get hurt again. And I know tonight you’ve been proving to me that you’re not going to hurt me anymore, but -”
“You’re still scared,” Arizona said softly. “I get it. I am too. But maybe…maybe we could be scared together. I’m not saying you should move back in with me right away or anything. Maybe we should take it slow. But I want to move forward.”
“I do, too,” Callie agreed. “I don’t want to be scared for the rest of my life, and I definitely don’t want to miss you anymore.” She paused to attempt to stifle a yawn. “Can we not talk about living arrangements right now? I really want to sleep.”
Arizona nodded. “We can sleep. I mean - unless - I just assumed you meant you wanted to sleep here, with me. But if you want to go -”
“Arizona, shut up.”
“I, uh - huh, what?”
“I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since you left. It’s late and it’s been a really long day and an even longer night. I’m still feeling the orgasm you gave me fifteen minutes ago, and I am exhausted. Neither of us is moving from this bed for the next, hmm, thirty-six hours.”
Arizona laughed. “Okay, point taken.” She hesitated. “Can I hold you?”
“I wish you would.”
***
Arizona was having trouble sleeping. Not because she wasn’t tired - to the contrary, sleep had never sounded like a better idea - but because, even despite Callie’s tearful confession of love, Arizona honestly had no idea where they were going to go from here. She missed the days when the two of them lying in bed together was nothing more than sleepy arms tightening around waists, half-coherent mumblings, and faces buried in manes of sweet-smelling hair. Those days were over, at least for the foreseeable future, and while Callie didn’t seem closed to the idea of reintroducing them at some point, Arizona didn’t know how the hell they were going to get there. She had a feeling Callie didn’t, either. She considered going to Teddy for advice again, but Arizona decided that Teddy had helped her enough. This was her relationship, her own uncharted ground to navigate.
Callie stirred and mumbled something that was some mix of Spanish and gibberish and burrowed further into Arizona’s arms. Arizona tightened her hold. Sleeping, Callie looked completely carefree. There wasn’t a crease or worry line to be found on her face. Her full, pink lips were slightly parted and one strand of hair swept across her forehead. Even after everything that had happened between them, Arizona found her breath hitching at how astonishingly gorgeous she found the other woman. And the fact that she was really here, in Arizona’s bed, in her arms; the fact that she had let Arizona touch her, had asked Arizona to hold her; the fact that she told Arizona she loved her…how did that tear get on her cheek?
No matter what happened, Arizona knew, beyond all measurable doubt, that this absolutely could not be the last time they lay like this together. For the first time since leaving for Malawi - probably even before that, if she really thought about it - she felt whole. She had admitted all of her deepest fears and secrets to the woman she loved. She had jumped and trusted Callie to catch her before she fell into an abyss, and Callie had. She had begun to trust; she had begun to need. And it was okay.
So now, the only real remaining problem was how to prove to Callie that this new okay-ness was permanent. She had already apologized and made her promises. She’d said the words. She’d shown Callie with her body that she’d never hurt her again. What was left? Short of coming home to Callie every day and showing her she was still there, she wasn’t sure. The ball was sitting, figuratively of course, atop the net between their two courts.
Maybe it was the little things. Their relationship had once thrived on the little things, and it had been those, not the grand gestures, that had ultimately made her and Callie so successful. The smiles, quick little touches, the text messages. The coffee dates, the movie nights, the hand holding. When Callie went through her mail, she made sure to save the magazines and articles she thought Arizona would find interesting. Arizona made sure to add Callie’s favorite movies to her Netflix queue.
Somewhere, in the post-hospital shooting, pre-Africa, post-moving in haze, Arizona had lost sight of the little things. She supposed that was what happened when you were too busy being afraid of the other shoe dropping to talk to your partner. Yes, they’d start with the little things this time and gradually work their way to, and ultimately past, where they had been. It would be slow, but it would be so worth it. Arizona smiled to herself and pressed a soft kiss to Callie’s temple. Now that she had a plan, albeit a somewhat abstract one, Arizona felt herself begin to relax. Sleep should come easily now.
It didn’t.
As it turned out, there was still one more problem: Callie had had a fabulous orgasm and Arizona had not. And now that she was thinking about it, she couldn’t not think about it. The way Callie had bucked her hips, the way she’d cried out, how wet and ready she had been…not to mention how she’d smelled and tasted…okay, that wasn’t helping. Arizona squeezed her thighs together, which proved almost completely pointless as her wetness seemed determined to seep out anyway. Slowly, she slid one hand down between her legs to cup herself through her pants. It felt good, but she really wanted Callie to touch her, and no amount of imagining could convince her that her own hand was Callie’s - not when the real thing was right there next to her.
Arizona weighed her options. She could force herself to sleep and hope that Callie would take care of her when they woke up, assuming no one’s pager went off. She could touch herself, just to tide herself over, until she could get the real deal. Or - and she was leaning heavily in favor of this final option despite how peaceful Callie looked - she could wake Callie up. After all, she reasoned, while sex shouldn’t be used as a substitute for talking, actions did speak louder than words. And Arizona considered lovemaking one of the little things that defined her and Callie’s relationship. (It wasn’t so much a little thing as a big, amazing, very important thing, but it served essentially the same purpose, so Arizona counted it for the sake of argument.) Besides, Arizona wanted to continue proving to Callie how much she loved her, and part of that was showing her how her body craved her. Yes, Callie was exhausted, but she could sleep when they were done. Given how worked up Arizona was already, she didn’t anticipate it taking too long.
Rolling onto her side, Arizona pressed herself against Callie’s thigh and swallowed back a loud sigh. Yeah, this definitely couldn’t wait. She tightened her hold around Callie’s middle, rocking her hips a little harder and willing Callie to wake up. She began lightly scraping her nails up and down Callie’s left arm. She shivered, but remained asleep. Arizona let a frustrated groan escape from the back of her throat. Going for broke, she nipped lightly at Callie’s shoulder.
“Hrrmph,” Callie finally mumbled, eyes still closed. “Whatayoudoin’?” Arizona responded by rocking her hips again. “’M sleeping,” Callie grumbled, to which Arizona replied with a whine.
“I’ll let you sleep for a week after,” Arizona pleaded. “I love you. I’ve missed you. My body missed you and watching you come made me really, really…” Arizona rocked her hips a third time for emphasis. “…Impatient.” Callie sighed Arizona could tell she was wearing her down. “You’re so, so beautiful and I love you so much and my body really wants you.” She scraped her nails and rocked her hips at the same time. “Please?”
“You’re doing that pouty eyelash thing, aren’t you?” Callie asked without turning over.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Callie sighed, but it was definitely a dramatic sigh, not by any means an irritated one. She was tired, yes, but the day she turned down making love to Arizona would be the day she checked herself onto a psych ward. She rolled over onto her back and Arizona immediately climbed on top of her, pinning her with a kiss. Her hands found Callie’s breasts in seconds.
“Oh, no,” Callie said, grabbing Arizona’s hands. “No way are you topping me again. I’m in control this time.” She rolled again and flipped Arizona onto her back.
Stunned, but mostly disappointed at the loss of friction, Arizona said, “Huh?”
“Arizona,” Callie said gently, softly tracing the line of Arizona’s jaw with her finger, “I love you. But you can’t control everything all the time. Sometimes you have to let me. Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” Arizona answered without missing a beat.
Callie nodded. “It’s okay,” she said, reading the fear in Arizona’s eyes and hearing what she wasn’t saying. “It’s okay not to be in control sometimes. I know it’s hard. But I’ll keep you safe.” Arizona nodded, throat suddenly tight with emotion. Callie would keep her safe; of that she was absolutely certain. Here was that defining moment again. She was about to relinquish control; she was going to trust. And she was going to come out of it just fine. She was a good man in a storm, and she could feel it starting to drizzle.
Speaking of drizzling, her underwear was soaked.
From her perch atop Arizona’s hips, Callie leaned down and kissed her, slipping her tongue inside Arizona’s mouth. Callie’s tongue stroked Arizona’s rhythmically as one hand dropped down to rub slow circles on her side. Arizona’s whole body tingled.
“Callie, please,” Arizona whined. “I know you’re in control, and that’s fine, but…” She bucked her hips up into Callie’s. “…I can’t wait.”
Callie smirked and unbuckled Arizona’s belt as torturously slowly as she could. She slipped one hand inside, straight past her underwear, and cupped her. She had to bite her lip and close her eyes - Arizona was so beyond wet that it practically felt like she was flowing into Callie’s hand. “Oh, wow,” she whispered. “Arizona…wow. I guess you really can’t wait, can you?” Arizona shook her head and whimpered. As tempted as Callie was to take Arizona right now, just like this, she wasn’t going to give up her control that quickly. Besides, she had waited far too long for this. Reluctantly on both women’s parts, Callie removed her hand and held it close to Arizona’s face. Arizona gasped. The sight of her essence coating Callie’s hand and the sweet, hot, tangy smell triggered another rush of moisture. Locking eyes with Callie, Arizona extended her tongue and licked every drop of herself from Callie’s palm. She moaned at the taste, the one Callie experienced every time she went down on her. No wonder Callie enjoyed it so much.
As a compromise, Callie decided to skip the foreplay. “There’s…something I want to try,” she said, reining in her own sudden re-emergence of arousal. “I just have to, uh, find it. I think it’s in one of the boxes.” Arizona could barely process language. She nodded slowly and whimpered as Callie got up. It was all she could do to lie still until she returned and try not to float away on her own want. The fact that she watched Callie saunter out of the room completely naked did absolutely nothing to help.
When they had initially packed for the move to Malawi and put most of their belongings in storage, Callie had taken it upon herself to pack the “toy chest.” She had labeled it “cleaning supplies” so as not to arouse suspicion if anyone else happened upon it. She found the box on a stool at the breakfast bar. Arizona had obviously thought it really did contain cleaning supplies, and Callie was glad she hadn’t had time to clean yet. After opening the box and rooting around for a moment, Callie found what she was looking for.
It took some time, but Arizona eventually peeled her eyes away from Callie’s bouncing chest to see what was in her hand. Her eyes widened and her heart picked up. Hanging from Callie’s right hand was a pair of silk scarves she’d never seen before. One was light blue, almost the color of Arizona’s eyes, and the other was a deep purple. Callie was going to tie her up. No one had ever done that with her before. No one had even so much as suggested it. The idea made Arizona simultaneously panic and tremble with excitement. This would be the ultimate relinquishment of control. She would be at Callie’s mercy, with no say in what happened. Arizona forced herself to choke back her blinding fear. She had to prove to Callie that she could tolerate letting her be in control, or Callie would feel like the relationship wasn’t equal - which, Arizona had to admit, it wouldn’t be. She knew Callie wouldn’t hurt her. She knew Callie couldn’t hurt her - she simply wasn’t capable. Callie loved her and had promised to keep her safe, and Arizona trusted that promise implicitly. She was learning to trust and she was learning to like it. But the sight of the scarves was jarring nonetheless.
“I want to try this,” Callie began, holding up the scarves in her hand. “I’m going to be in charge. I know it’s intense and kind of scary, but I won’t hurt you. I promise I won’t.” Arizona nodded. She knew. “But if you need me to stop, I want you to tell me. What’s your word going to be?”
Arizona thought about it for a minute, her first foray into kink not something she wanted to take lightly. She wanted her safe word to be something that made sense for her, for them. “Blue,” she finally said, nodding toward the blue scarf Callie held.
“Okay,” Callie agreed, cracking a smile. “If you want me to stop, for any reason, you say blue, and I’ll stop. No questions asked.”
“Okay,” Arizona whispered.
Slowly, Callie crossed the room to the bed. “Arms,” she demanded, and Arizona extended hers. Callie tied her left wrist to the headboard with the purple scarf and kissed where she’d made the knot. When she picked up Arizona’s right wrist, Callie squeezed her hand and threaded their fingers together. Arizona squeezed back and then let Callie tie her with the blue scarf. “Too tight?” Callie asked. Arizona tested the strength of the scarves. They were tied tightly, securely, but they didn’t hurt. She shook her head. “Good.” Even in the dark room, Arizona could see the sudden darkening of Callie’s eyes. She shivered, but whether that shiver was from fear or excitement she wasn’t sure. Maybe it was both.
Callie rose to stand at the foot of the bed. “Now,” she said, her voice dropping to a low husk, “what are we going to do about these pants you’re still wearing for some reason?” She motioned to Arizona’s still-clothed bottom half. “I bet they’re soaking wet, aren’t they?” All at once, Arizona felt a new wave of excitement rush through her. Fear forgotten, at least temporarily, she remembered just how aroused she was. She bit her lip and nodded. Callie climbed onto the bed, kneeling at the end so she loomed over Arizona. Arizona’s mouth went dry at the vision of this woman naked and mentally devouring her. It was hard to decide what to focus on - Callie’s full breasts in her direct line of sight, her eyes shining with unadulterated lust, or the space between her legs, where Arizona remembered being just a couple hours ago in vivid detail. Before she could choose, Callie reached out and grabbed Arizona’s waistband, removing her pants and underwear in two strong tugs and tossing them to the floor.
Slowly, too slowly in Arizona’s opinion, Callie positioned herself above Arizona, knees on either side of her hips and hands just above her head. Still bracing herself on one hand, Callie lowered her other hand to Arizona’s center, cupping her firmly. Her mouth dropped to Arizona’s left breast and she wasted no time in drawing it inside, sucking it rhythmically and flicking her nipple with her tongue. Callie had decided earlier to skip the foreplay, but that was before she had seen Arizona naked and wet, tied to her headboard, absolutely desperate to be taken. Callie amended her earlier promise and vowed to keep the foreplay shorter than usual.
Arizona groaned loudly when Callie began to squeeze her pussy in rhythm with the mouth sucking her breast. Callie switched breasts and grazed her nipple with her teeth, still keeping up the erotic rhythm, and Arizona knew she would come in no time. She longed to thread her fingers into Callie’s hair, to draw her up for a kiss, but her hands hung helplessly above her head. She settled for throwing her head back, closing her eyes, and moaning. So far, Callie taking control felt absolutely divine, and Arizona was having no misgivings about the situation.
At least, she wasn’t until Callie abruptly removed her hand from her center and her mouth from her breast.
Arizona’s head shot up and her eyes popped open just in time to see Callie suck her fingers into her mouth and lick them clean. As delectable as the sight was, Arizona had been counting on an orgasm, and this put a slight damper in her plans. But as she listened to Callie hum her delight at her taste, she decided to give her the benefit of the doubt for the time being.
Callie crashed her lips to Arizona’s in a searing kiss, tongue darting in to let Arizona taste herself again. Arizona sucked her tongue greedily until Callie withdrew, taking Arizona’s lower lip between her teeth and biting gently.
“Callie, please,” Arizona panted, straining against the scarves and wishing she could force Callie’s head back down to her breasts, or maybe even lower. Callie just smiled and kissed Arizona’s chin. The hand that had been between her legs reached down and pinched a nipple, causing Arizona to cry out and arch her back.
“You’re loud tonight,” Callie said. “I like it.” She lowered her head again and nipped her way down Arizona’s body, continuing down to bite lightly at her inner thighs. She lifted Arizona’s right leg to bite at the space behind her knee. Arizona hissed and flexed her leg, which Callie promptly positioned over her shoulder before moving in for the kill. After making a quick swipe up Arizona’s length, Callie played with her clit, flicking it with her tongue and licking circles around it. One hand moved to Arizona’s thigh to scrape her nails along it. Arizona tensed, feeling her oncoming climax and wishing once again she could move her hands to hold Callie’s head in place. Still, while the sensation of being tied up was unusual, the feelings Callie was evoking in her were too exquisite for her to mind too much.
“Does that feel good?” Callie asked throatily, momentarily lifting her head. “You feel good?”
“Please fuck me, Callie,” Arizona begged. Maybe later she’d remember begging and feel silly or embarrassed, but right now, she was too close to the edge and would fall over it easily if Callie would just…
Two nimble fingers entered Arizona and her whole body bucked off the bed, arms still tied securely behind her. Callie’s tongue continued its assault on Arizona’s clit as she moved her fingers, pushing them in as far as they would go and scissoring them. Arizona moaned louder than she could remember moaning before. Callie dug her nails into Arizona’s thigh to keep her steady on the bed. She dislodged her mouth from her clit long enough to look up and enjoy the sight of Arizona, sweaty and flushed, head thrown back again and pulling at the scarves around her wrists. God, she was beautiful. Truth be told, Callie had dreamed of this moment long before Africa was even a blip on anyone’s radar. She couldn’t imagine a more erotic vision, and Arizona more than did it justice.
Callie began pumping her fingers in time to the flicking of her tongue, and Arizona immediately started bucking her hips in rhythm. She concentrated on the steady in-and-out of those two long fingers, riding them as best she could lying on her back. She felt her channel clenching around them as her wetness poured from her. She was sure the sheet below her was wet. Callie moved her fingers faster and faster and Arizona saw fireworks start to erupt behind her closed eyes.
“I’m gonna come!” she cried. “Oh, god, I’m so close, I -”
Once again, Callie removed her hand and her mouth, and Arizona let out a strained scream. Momentarily forgetting her restraints, she tried to lunge her body forward, only to get caught halfway to sitting and collapse back on the head. She wanted to scream at Callie; she wanted to curse and demand that she return exactly to where she had been. She found, though, that she couldn’t make words happen, and she settled on moaning some more. Arizona breathed heavily, panting and trying to quiet her rapidly beating heart. Callie grinned and sat back on her heels.
Arizona moaned and thrashed, squirming restlessly on the bed and squeezing her thighs together. Callie could see the flexing of Arizona’s strong arm muscles as she strained against the scarves. She sat back and watched as Arizona fought to regain control over the situation. There was no doubt that if her arms weren’t bound, she would either be furiously touching herself or using Callie’s body in any way she could to bring herself pleasure. Arizona made quite a picture: her whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat as her chest heaved and her hips jerked. Her toes curled and her fingers flexed; her wrists pulled and tugged at the scarves. She alternated between squeezing her thighs and spreading them in wanton need, and when she did the latter, she dripped onto the bed. All in all, Callie was having a difficult time maintaining her own control.
“Blue” was on the tip of Arizona’s tongue. What was Callie doing, just sitting there watching her like that? She needed release so badly it was painful. Twice now she had been on the brink of a powerful orgasm and Callie had retreated. In the back of her mind - the part not fueled by sexual energy - she felt fear setting in. Was Callie doing this to torture her? To show her how it felt to be neglected in some way? Logically, she knew that wasn’t it. She had trusted Callie when she’d said she loved her and would keep her safe, and that trust hadn’t dissipated. It was just the situation in which Arizona found herself - bound, naked, powerless, and vulnerable, not to mention beyond sexually frustrated - that gave her pause. She could do one of two things here: she could use her safe word, which she knew Callie wouldn’t hold against her, and retreat back into what she knew, or she could stretch her limits, face the unknown, and maybe learn to enjoy giving up control once in a while.
It took her all of three seconds to decide to go with the second option.
“Callie, please!” she cried, bucking her hips and thrashing from side to side. “Please make me come! I need it! I need it so bad! Please, please fuck me!”
Callie almost came from the begging alone.
Without wasting any more time, Callie plunged three fingers into Arizona with one hand and pinched her clit with the other. She pumped her fingers one, two, three times, gaining momentum with each thrust. Arizona matched Callie’s rhythm immediately, thrusting back onto those fingers even as her legs began to shake. She planted both feet firmly on the bed and spread her legs as wide as she could to give Callie the optimal amount of space. Callie thrust her fingers into Arizona as far as they would go, filling her and stretching her to the brink. Leaning over, she nipped Arizona’s earlobe before whispering, “Let go, Arizona.” Then, when she lowered her head to take Arizona’s nipple between her teeth and simultaneously curled her fingers upward, everything happened at once.
For a split second, Arizona fell into a crushing void. Then, just as quickly, lights exploded behind her eyelids and the most powerful orgasm she had ever felt - no, she was not exaggerating - erupted through her. Completely letting go of all her inhibitions, she arched her back, bucked her hips off the bed, threw her head back, and screamed at the top of her lungs.
She came harder than she knew she had ever come before, hot liquid shooting from her raised hips as she ejaculated. Callie moaned along with her, an orgasm of her own shooting through her triggered by Arizona’s powerful reaction. Arizona came hard and long, panting and whimpering, aftershocks coursing through her as the last of her wetness ran down her legs.
It was some time before her body began to relax, and it took even longer for her breathing to return to some form of normalcy. Callie untied her wrists in the meantime, rubbing them lightly to stimulate blood flow. As she came down, it began to dawn on Arizona what exactly had happened. She had never come like that before; had never begged for it, had never screamed so loudly, had certainly never ejaculated.
“Arizona, it’s okay,” Callie said, feeling Arizona’s body stiffen. “You let go. You lost control. It was beautiful. Not to mention really, really hot.”
“I’ve never done…that. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It was amazing. You felt really good. That was what your body wanted. Now, how do your wrists feel? Sore?”
Arizona shook her head. “No, my wrists are fine. God, I just can’t believe…I’m sorry if I said or did anything that was…I don’t know. I just…”
“Arizona, stop.” Callie cupped Arizona’s face with one hand and kissed her forehead. “I loved every minute of that. Now, come on. Let’s shower and get you cleaned up, and then we’re going back to sleep.”
Arizona nodded bravely. “Okay.”
***
The hot water felt wonderful on Arizona’s skin, having chilled from the sweat that had since begun to evaporate. She still felt a little dazed from the night’s activities, and she stood mutely in the shower, not quite sure of herself.
Callie poured some of Arizona’s apple body wash onto a shower sponge. She ran it gently over Arizona’s body, being sure to maintain eye contact as she moved it between her legs to clean her. Arizona blushed. Once Callie was finished, she dropped the sponge to the shower floor and gathered Arizona into her arms. Arizona leaned against her tiredly, more than ready now to fall into bed and sleep for hours on end.
“Thank you,” Arizona said so softly Callie almost missed it. “Thank you for tonight. For listening to me, for talking to me, for understanding. Thank you for letting me hold you and for making me feel…amazing and taking care of me. Thank you for being here, Calliope.”
“Arizona,” Callie said, hugging her a little tighter, “thank you for trusting me.”