Whee.

[undertoe]

Dirge by Sir Nicholas Schram

Comments

[bloodyfairy19]

oh don't give me that bullshit, "it really sucks". you know its good. wanker. amor, erika

[undertoe]

I honestly think it sucks.

[childisgone]

There are a few things that are really good about this poem...

1) the feeling behind it. there are so many people who write poetry for the sake of writing poetry, and ever poet writes poems without all the emotion backing them, but this isn't one of those pieces...this is emotional, edgy, raw, but professional. it makes the reader feel and in my opinion, that is the ultimate goal of poetry - the touch someone in ways that pure prose can't...

and

2) the rhyme scheme isn't forced at all and actually adds to the poem rather than taking away from the meaning of it with forced rhyme...this flows nicely, especially the ending. the ending feels...ended. and that may sound simple, but as any poet knows, it's not all that easy to end a poem with an actual sense of closure. you've done that here and also incorporated a nice rhyme scheme, which is impressive.

~

so there's my critique. :D

kudos.

-chelsea

[undertoe]

Thanks for the fabulous comment Chelse... I believe Michaelangelo was so right when he said that he didn't make art by choice, but by obligation. And I always try to bring a sense of closure to my poems... unless I don't want them to have closure, which sometimes is the case. But yes... thank you very much chelsea! :)