[020] Twentieth Nightmare [action/accidental video]

[adeptible]

[It’s far later than Starwind is usually awake, but he jerks himself out of sleep, confused and frightened at first, and after a few more long minutes laying still, he knows that he’s not going back to sleep. Not after that nightmare

Comments

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[suaveleather]

Starwind? [He is away but appears on screen, grinning even as he studies the man to make sure his lover is alright.] You are homesick?

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[adeptible]

...more than that, I think, ke'chern.

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[suaveleather]

Oh? Would you like to speak about it?

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[adeptible]

[He pauses for a long time, dropping his hands to his lap and actually staring at the camera before he speaks again.]

There are too many dreams here.

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[suaveleather]

[And you are confusing him once again, Starwind. Zevran raises his eyebrows.]

I am afraid I do not quite understand, my lover.

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[adeptible]

Cages...choices that should not have been made. [His fingers idly trace the edges of the hand-shaped burn scar around his throat.] I can no longer distinguish what is dream, what is memory, what is Foresight. I See so many things, and I do not know whether to prepare or to dismiss them. Nightmarish things, sometimes... [He shudders, but continues.] Others, I would sooner stay sleeping than wake.

And yet...the faces in my dreams have changed.

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[suaveleather]

[choices that should not have been made? He will not let Starwind see just how that affects him. He only nods.]

It could be just a dream. You are recovering after all.

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[adeptible]

No. Those cages...haunt me still. Too often I have dreamed of them and woken afraid that I was back in them and alone.

[And another long pause.]

Though...tonight they were chased by a demon that I should not have allowed to blind me.

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[suaveleather]

[He finally frowns and seems to be moving. When he speaks his tone is firm.]

These nightmares are just that. Nightmares. The demon is gone and those cages are behind us.

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[adeptible]

It lied to me, ke'chern, and it used my son's face to do it. I let it take me. [He shudders again and looks almost like he's going to be sick, but a few moments and deep breaths later, he continues.] It told me...things. It said Brighstar was dying and that it could save him--all it needed was one thing from my mind, and I let it inside. It was...a power-theif, a snake that found its way to everything I am. [That's the part that disgusts him so much.]

I was blind. I was not strong enough to see it for what it was and I endangered too many others.

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[suaveleather]

Ah yes. You are meant to be absolutely perfect and indestructible.

[He's hurrying! He should not have left Starwind alone... His grin returns and he shakes his head.]

No, my beautiful other half. It took advantage of your love for your son. It made something so great about you into a weakness. That is what those demons do and it would have happened to anyone, my dear Starwind. You cannot blame yourself.

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[adeptible]

And what am I if I cannot tell the difference between my child and that thing?

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[suaveleather]

That says nothing about you and plenty about how good that creature was. You took hold when it mattered.

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[adeptible]

It should not have been. I should have been stronger. I should have seen it sooner.

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[suaveleather]

That is quite a lot of 'should's, my lover. I had not realized you were infallible.

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[adeptible]

[Stop being right.]

Infallible, no...