Power to the People (fic)
Title: Power to the People
Author: undisclosable
Pairing: S1!Zuko/Jet
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack
Notes: I am so sorry. Really.
Summary: In which Jet is caged, Zuko saves the dragons, and humanity is just as hopeless as they initially thought.
"You must be kidding me," Zuko says.
Judging from the expression on Yao Jin's face, this was clearly not the issue. However, the man trapped in the (rather small) cage was.
"I'm afraid I don't understand," said Yao Jin. "You asked for the Fire Nation to search for any remaining dragons. We have found one and expect to collect our reward." The villagers crowded around square nodded and murmured their agreement.
Zuko took a deep, steadying breath. "I am the Fire Lord's son."
"Yes," Yao Jin said readily.
"I am looking for dragons," Zuko added.
"Money," Yao Jin agreed.
"No," Zuko said.
"Hey," the caged man protested. "I have a name, and I'm not an object. Nor am I going anywhere with the Fire Nation-"
"It speaks!" cried an awed villager, much to the delight of the spectators.
"Silence, beast," Yao Jin growled to the cage. The man growled back. Zuko bit his cheek.
"This man is not a dragon!" he shouted in something close to frustration. "And you aren't getting your pay!" The crowd gasped and muttered in disapproval.
"It is so!" Yao Jin contradicted.
Zuko blinked, clearly affronted. "Is not."
"Is so!"
"Is not!"
"Excuse me!" interrupted the man. "I'm right here. Will you please," he added, glaring at Zuko, obviously miffed at being the subject of what any rational being would think as a most definitely idiotic conversation, "explain to these people that I am not a dragon?"
"He is not a dragon," Zuko relayed. Yao Jin slitted his eyes at the crouching form in the cage.
"What kind of magic are you using on the Fire Lord's son, foul beast?" Yao Jin demanded, the crowd shouting their assent. Zuko set his jaw and began to speak through his teeth.
"Yao Jin."
"Yes sir."
"Explain to me what a dragon is."
"It is a monstrous creature that breathes fire and flies around in circles and eats people."
"Yes. Now. Tell me. Do human beings fly?"
"They most certainly do not."
"Do Earth Kingdom terrorists breathe fire?"
"Don't even associate me with a firebender," the caged man growled, to which both parties ignored. The villagers, however started booing.
"I believe they do not, sir."
"Does this man," Zuko continued, "look like a cannibal."
"..I do not see where you are going with this, sir."
"...Man," the Earth Kingdom peasant sighed, sitting back on his haunches, "I am never going to work for a good cause again, ever."
Zuko threw up his hands.
- - -
Author: undisclosable
Pairing: S1!Zuko/Jet
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack
Notes: I am so sorry. Really.
Summary: In which Jet is caged, Zuko saves the dragons, and humanity is just as hopeless as they initially thought.
"You must be kidding me," Zuko says.
Judging from the expression on Yao Jin's face, this was clearly not the issue. However, the man trapped in the (rather small) cage was.
"I'm afraid I don't understand," said Yao Jin. "You asked for the Fire Nation to search for any remaining dragons. We have found one and expect to collect our reward." The villagers crowded around square nodded and murmured their agreement.
Zuko took a deep, steadying breath. "I am the Fire Lord's son."
"Yes," Yao Jin said readily.
"I am looking for dragons," Zuko added.
"Money," Yao Jin agreed.
"No," Zuko said.
"Hey," the caged man protested. "I have a name, and I'm not an object. Nor am I going anywhere with the Fire Nation-"
"It speaks!" cried an awed villager, much to the delight of the spectators.
"Silence, beast," Yao Jin growled to the cage. The man growled back. Zuko bit his cheek.
"This man is not a dragon!" he shouted in something close to frustration. "And you aren't getting your pay!" The crowd gasped and muttered in disapproval.
"It is so!" Yao Jin contradicted.
Zuko blinked, clearly affronted. "Is not."
"Is so!"
"Is not!"
"Excuse me!" interrupted the man. "I'm right here. Will you please," he added, glaring at Zuko, obviously miffed at being the subject of what any rational being would think as a most definitely idiotic conversation, "explain to these people that I am not a dragon?"
"He is not a dragon," Zuko relayed. Yao Jin slitted his eyes at the crouching form in the cage.
"What kind of magic are you using on the Fire Lord's son, foul beast?" Yao Jin demanded, the crowd shouting their assent. Zuko set his jaw and began to speak through his teeth.
"Yao Jin."
"Yes sir."
"Explain to me what a dragon is."
"It is a monstrous creature that breathes fire and flies around in circles and eats people."
"Yes. Now. Tell me. Do human beings fly?"
"They most certainly do not."
"Do Earth Kingdom terrorists breathe fire?"
"Don't even associate me with a firebender," the caged man growled, to which both parties ignored. The villagers, however started booing.
"I believe they do not, sir."
"Does this man," Zuko continued, "look like a cannibal."
"..I do not see where you are going with this, sir."
"...Man," the Earth Kingdom peasant sighed, sitting back on his haunches, "I am never going to work for a good cause again, ever."
Zuko threw up his hands.
- - -