A Kiss and A Heartbeat

Mar 25, 2011 22:29

Title: A Kiss and A Heartbeat
Author: undying_desire 
Pairing: GTOP Seunghyun/Jiyong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff, one-shot
Summary: The Secret Big Bang filming suddenly goes haywire for Jiyong as unexpected emotions are brought to the forefront. 
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Bang, but I do own these fic ideas. *lol*

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Jiyong quickly left the recording studio, pulling off the wig and discarding it haphazardly as he went. He had told the other members he didn't feel well, which was partly true. In fact, he felt pretty sick to the stomach right now. Why? Well, he had just finished a certain scene in their filming of Secret Garden. That certain scene being where Seunghyun had kissed him.

Now, the problem wasn't that they were expected to kiss. Acting and all that was perfectly fine by Jiyong's book. Plus, they had done it before in the Coffee Prince shooting. No, the problem had come when Seunghyun's hand rested gently a top his own. The problem had come when Seunghyun's fingers ghosted over Jiyong's chin as he came closer. Jiyong realized in that instant just how real this kiss was going to be. The problem; Seunghyun's lips were own his and Jiyong's heart was beating faster than it had for anyone else.

It took everything Jiyong had not to kiss back with frightening passion. It took everything he had not to get up and run before the scene was closed. So he sat there in the seconds, which felt like an eternity, not moving a muscle.

The scene ended and Jiyong was out of the room faster than he thought possible. His lips were still feeling the slow movement of Seunghyun's. Subconsciously, Jiyong's tongue flicked over the red lipstick. He cursed himself immediately after the action.

Never had he considered the possibility of having feelings for Seunghyun still. He would admit the man had stunning looks, but Seunghyun was like his little brother (despite the fact he was older). They were close, Jiyong loved being around the older, and loved the physical contact because Seunghyun tended to shy away. But to actually have felt something that made his heart race, that made his blood catch fire, and made his eyes flutter shut . . . Never. Not in a million years had he expected that from Seunghyun. Choi Seunghyun. Lee wouldn't have surprised him. But Choi? Not since middle school had Choi Seunghyun even crossed his mind as something more than a friend.

Jiyong found himself standing in front of Seunghyun's villa (of which had a spare key for) before he quite realized what he was planning. Even when he entered Seunghyun's room he still hadn't realized. Not until he heard the click of the rapper's return did he know what he was going to do, and what he wanted to do scared him more than anything else.

"Ji?" the elder inquired as the lights in his bedroom were turned on. This revealed the leader perched on the edge of the bed with his arms wrapped around one leg. "Hey, man, are you feeling that bad?" He asked quietly as soon as he noticed the tears streaking Jiyong's face. Seunghyun moved to sit next to the other placing a hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

"Yes, I'm feeling goddamn awful," Jiyong sobbed as he quickly buried his face into the elder's chest.

"Should I get you some medicine?"

"No," he paused pondering jokingly how many pills it would take to put him out of his newfound misery. "Stay here for a bit Seung."

This wasn't uncommon for either of them. For Jiyong to be at an emotional break and to come to Seunghyun just for the company and someone to lean on. Jiyong's desperate cling on the older man's blazer and the fact he wasn't spilling his guts out, instead simply remaining silent, that was new.

"Ya, Yong what's bothering you?" Seunghyun questioned as he lifted the younger's chin up so that their eyes met.

And that was all Jiyong could take. That light brush of fingers made the memory of the kiss spring back into his mind in vivid technicolor.

Then, Jiyong was initiating a passionate exchange that mixed with the tastes of Daesung's horrid perfume, lipstick, and coffee. But overriding them all was one taste, and that was the flavor of Seunghyun.

A problem became quite real in that instant. The problem; Seunghyun was the one frozen this time. Not reacting to the kiss, instead remaining like a statue.

Jiyong pulled away with a frightened expression and quickly stood from the bed. "Shit. Sorry." He gave a curt bow and left the room with a stunned Seunghyun behind.

* * *

The alarm on the silver-haired rapper's nightstand violently awoke him. Last night he had drank. Gotten drunk. Got completely fucked up. Why? Because his best friend had kissed him. Because he knew Jiyong was bi and he also knew - thought he knew - that he himself was straight. Though thinking back on his middle school days that might be more questionable.

The hangover pulled at his temples as he furrowed his brow, not wishing to wake up to face the day.

He had gotten drunk because it was the only way he could calm his nerves and his racing heart. Once Jiyong rushed out, Seunghyun couldn't stop his thoughts from drifting to Ji, he couldn't stop frightening emotions from entering his heart, his soul.

The kiss with Seungri had been longer, deeper, and a hell of a lot funner, but that's all it was. Fun. With Jiyong what was supposed to be fun became something frightening but something he wanted to experience again and again.

Still, Seunghyun couldn't bring himself to say anything to the other. What do you say to your best friend whom you had just realized you might have feelings for? What do you say to your best friend, who is a guy, that you may like? What do you say to your leader that you may wish to build a relationship with?

His phone vibrated on the nightstand then.

"Ya, Choi, we have to finish filming. Get your ass here before Yang gets on my case. -Ji"

Seunghyun groaned. This was positively the worst day to have to go act as Jiyong's lover.

Still, twenty minutes later, he found himself at the film site with a letter in his hand and tears streaming down his cheeks. His emotions were brought out from the shear turmoil in his mind. It was frustrating. He hadn't seen Jiyong yet today. Was the younger avoiding him? It wouldn't be a surprise.

Then the time came for Seunghyun to visit Jiyong. As he walked in the hospital room seeing Jiyong, eyes closed, laying on the bed, he felt his breath hitch in his throat. In the simple dressed down pjs, Jiyong was more beautiful than any model on the tv or magazines. He walked forward. Just touching Jiyong was a struggle, but he had to for the scene.

Jiyong's lips curved up slightly as Seunghyun acted like he couldn't lift the younger. Both knew that this wasn't the case. Many times Seunghyun had carried the leader bridal style when Jiyong was drunk, exhausted, or just when the action seemed fit.

Jiyong sat up and quickly went for the piggyback ride. It lasted a brief second because, despite the hilarious atmosphere of the scene, there was still tension between the rappers.

And that was that. The parody was over and Seunghyun would be heading back to his villa. Jiyong back to the dorms. Or at least that's how it normally went.

This time, as Jiyong walked passed Seunghyun towards the door, the elder reached for Jiyong's wrist to prevent him from escaping. The look Jiyong gave the other was challenging. It was almost commanding Seunghyun to do something. Maybe punch him because the younger's hand had clenched into a fist, ready to retaliate against an incoming blow.

This didn't phase Seunghyun. "We need to talk," a whispered yet forced 'please' was tagged to the end. Seunghyun wanted to curse himself for the evident fear lacing his words. Was he scared of Jiyong? Even he himself didn't know what he was feeling at this moment.

"Then talk," Jiyong snapped back. Despite the harshness it was obvious the leader was calm. His muscles had relaxed and his hand was simply limp in Seunghyun's.

Somehow Seunghyun found himself intertwining their fingers. "Can we try it again?" He asked like a child expecting to be reprimanded.

"Try what?" And Jiyong must have been expecting the response because his grasp tightened in anticipation.

"A kiss," the taller said tilting his head down in embarrassment. The height difference between them made this action just enough for Jiyong to see Seunghyun eye to eye. "I mean yesterday-with the cream-I liked that. But then later, I was surprised. I didn't mean to not react. You just shocked me. And I didn't want you to leave, I-" and then he was cut off by soft lips.

Jiyong had moved dangerously close, his entire body pressing against Seunghyun. The younger's lips were chapped and the kiss was experienced from the many women, and men, that the other had been with. It was gentle, almost fearful, but Seunghyun wouldn't have it any other way. It might not be perfect but it felt right.

Jiyong pulled back before the kiss became heated. His eyes were half lidded and his cheeks were flushed. "There. We tried again."

"Come home with me?" Seunghyun asked before he could think.

A weak smile found it's way to Jiyong's lips and the older man knew it all too well. That smile was reserved for when the younger did something he regretted. When he did something he liked but knew he shouldn't delve into. The smile made Seunghyun's heart sink.

"I'm sorry. There's too much at stake for this, whatever this is. I can't ruin everything we've built up with the others over this juvenile fling," Jiyong's fingers slipped away from Seunghyun's.

Seunghyun couldn't stop the other from leaving. He wanted to slap Jiyong for being the one to stir things up in the first place. However, he couldn't bring himself to do that. Jiyong was right and he knew it. But that didn't make everything alright. In fact, it made things a hundred times worse. Seunghyun had made the decision to let his feelings be free and now they were reaching for something he couldn't- shouldn't- have.

Knees buckling, Seunghyun collapsed to the floor and punched the door that had been closed moments ago. His knuckles stung but not so much as his heart.

* * *

"I think I'm in love," Jiyong started the conversation.

Youngbae only looked at the other for a moment with sad eyes. "Him?" He asked without stating a name. Between the two of them more things were understood than what was spoken. Being best friends for years did that to a person.

Jiyong couldn't bring himself to speak then. He feared tears would fall if he did. So Jiyong simply nodded.

"Am I here just for you to tell me that?"

Jiyong shook his head.

"Then tell me what happened," Youngbae softly coaxed as he wrapped an arm around the other in a motherly way.

"I hurt him. I know I did, but there wasn't any other way. Was there? This couldn't have ever been okay," Jiyong's speech broken by a shaking voice.

"You told him? You told Seunghyun?"

Jiyong nodded into Yongbae's chest as he buried his face from the world.

"How did he take it?"

"He wanted to try for me."

"And you hurt him?"

"It couldn't work. We're business partners, we're best friends, we're in the eyes of the public, we're men," Jiyong pulled back wiping at his eyes and at the mascara that was running down his cheeks.

"You know none of the group would be against you," Youngbae comforted. "Yang Goon loves you too much to not let you have what you want." Jiyong laughed lightly at that.

"You're forgetting the most important people of all. The fans."

"Have you seen some the things they write? It's like porn, only written," Youngbae gave a playful gag.

"What porn makes you sick now?" Jiyong hit his friend's shoulder.

"I'd just not like to think about Seunghyun thrusting against you in the shower."

This remark earned a deep crimson blush to creep on the leader's face as he coughed lightly.

"Jiyong, you think you love him. You'll never know unless you try."

"Doesn't any of this surprise you?" Ji asked as he let the weight of Youngbae's words fall on him.

"Honestly, I've never had a problem with you being bi."

"Not that. I mean. . . with Seunghyun."

Youngbae couldn't help but laugh at the remark. "Do you remember before we got into YG?"

"Of course."

"Man, you were all about getting this friend of yours from middle school into the company with us."

"Tempo." Jiyong sighed contentedly at the memories. He had wanted to see the underground artist again ever since he had moved away. Bringing the rapper's talents to YG seemed only natural.

"Even then you saw through his chubby, socially awkward persona and to the strong-willed rapper buried within," Youngbae lightly flicked Jiyong's forehead. "You were captivated by him even then."

The blush which still hadn't left Jiyong's cheeks only deepened in color.

"Bae, you should have went to our middle school. If you told me this back then . . ."

"Go get him. Apologize. Beg if you have to."

Jiyong nodded and exited with a click of the dorm door.

* * *

"Dae," Seunghyun whined as he looked up from a bowl of frozen fruit.

"Don't you play cute with me. You were going to fuck him weren't you?" His eyebrows comically went up and down as Daesung eyed his bandmate.

"What!? No. . . I mean, I just wanted to talk," the rapper sighed and pushed the half full bowl away from himself. "You don't find this whole thing shocking?"

"Please. Shocking? This was practically already seeping from your pores. You stare at Kwon more than Seungri does."

Seunghyun scoffed at that. If you did anything more than the whoreish baby Ri, you were in trouble. "More than Ri? Really?" Disbelief lined his voice.

"I'm dead serious."

That wiped any smile from Seunghyun's face.

And then a knock echoed through the villa.

"Expecting company?" Daesung eyed his elder curiously.

Seunghyun got up from the table and went to open the front door. Before the door was fully opened a figure lunged at him causing Seunghyun to almost fall back. Hands clung to his back and a familiar scent filled his lungs. It all screamed Jiyong before his visuals even kicked in.

"Wh. . . what are you doing here?"

Deep chocolate hued orbs gazed up at Seunghyun then. The older man felt any coherent words leave his brain in the same instant. Jiyong's lids were slightly puffy from earlier crying and black still smudged across his cheeks. Yet there was only fiery determination in his irises now.

"I'm here to apologize and do what I wanted to back when I first saw you on that underground stage."

Lips crashed together as Jiyong moved a hand to fist into silvery hair. Seunghyun brought both his hands to Jiyong's waist as he pulled the thin frame closer and leaned back against the wall.

Seunghyun could never quite understand why the other boy had befriended him when other classmates ridiculed him. Now, as a breathless kiss was shared between them, Seunghyun finally got what Jiyong might have seen all along. What they had was something unmatchable.

As they pulled back to take a breath Seunghyun whispered a quick "you're forgiven" before resuming their sweet kiss.

Daesung stood leaning against the archway that led into the small hallway the new couple were occupying. His whole face lit up into a smile as he texted Seungri. "I don't think you're going to have to share your room with Jiyong anymore."

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A/N: I know it's a bit late for a Secret Garden parody fic but I had this on my iPod just begging to be posted for a while now. 

genre: oneshot, pairing: gtop, fandom: big bang, fanfic

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