Unebriwen's Guide to being a Death Eater
A Guide to being a Death Eater
If you want to be a loyal follower of the dark lord, there's some basic do's and don'ts, and I'm here to guide you through them!
1. Be Discreet! It helps to be the small, thick one that no-one notices. If you go round saying 'death to all mudbloods', people might notice and it will be harder to scheme effectively.
2. Have a handy skill. I recommend being an animagus. Lets face it, if you're not much cop at the dark arts you need some kind of special talent. Of course, I've got that skill tied up so you'll have to think of something else. Try knitting - death eaters always need robes.
3. Avoid Cats. Although on second thoughts that might just be me...
4. Be prepared. You never know when you may need to slip some kind of enchanted object into the possession of some muggle lover. Keep a satchel full of such things on you at all times.
5. Be Blond. This isn't strictly essential but it does help. Remember - blond is beautiful. And the longer the better - if in doubt, use Timotei.
6. Finally, be careful what you agree to - If the dark lord our master says 'just give me a hand for a second', run. Or better still, find another death eater to help.
So there you go - just follow these simple steps and you too can be a top death eater like me!
^_~
ABOUT THE ENEMY
THE ENEMY
The-boy-who-lived-but-should-not-have-lived
If spotted, proceed with caution. He is known to be insufferably smug and have questionable personal hygiene. Imagine someone with hair like this defeating the Dark Lord- has he not heard of Timotei???
He is also known to consort with these other non-blondes:
Beware - suspect has been known to pull stupid faces in a poor attempt to make up for lack of brains.
Known to be armed and dangerous, and that's just her teeth!
*Uney Malfoy*