Happy fandom swap, waxbean!
Happy fandom swap, waxbean!
Title: Changed Boy
Author: finmefiant
Fandom: Narnia
Summary: He began to be a changed boy.
Pairings: Edmund/Eustace.
Rating: 12A
Warnings: First cousin incest.
one
Before Eustace began to be a changed boy, he was always very jealous of Edmund. Susan and Lucy were girls, and so he had no interest in them, while Peter was more than tall and straightforward enough to squash him when he was being a particularly annoying blot - and so Edmund, naturally, became the main focus. Edmund wasn’t a little suck-up like Lu, trying to be nice and making a secret of her dislike. There was something painfully fair about Edmund, like a bone broken and pulled straight, and while it reminded Eustace of perfect Peter, he could also see that tugging at such a thing was the way to cause maximum irritation - he never thought the word pain.
So he needled and needled, and it was all about making Edmund snap, though neither of them ever quite realised it. Eustace showed Lucy his rows of insects pinned to card and reduced her to shaking lower lip and spilling tears, finally behaving like the stupid little girl she really was. Edmund thumped him and sent him howling to Alberta, pouting lower lip split and bloodied. It was barbaric. But it didn’t matter, because the next day Edmund found him and apologised stiffly but sincerely, and Eustace could see that he wanted to choke him. The best part was the smugly secure knowledge that Edmund couldn’t, or wouldn’t. Eustace saw victory in Edmund’s struggle for nobility.
And coveted it.
two
Before Eustace began to be a changed boy, he hated Caspian. What kind of a real King would sail around in a little tub like the Dawn Treader? What kind of King walked barefoot on sunny days and was probably only seventeen, with hair as gold as angelic little perfect cousin Lu’s, and skin that never freckled or even burned under the blazing sun? And when Eustace was perfectly certain that he was dying horribly and the stupid ship would capsize any moment, he knew that Caspian and Edmund would be up on deck and chatting about their rotten Narnia which didn’t even have a British Consul. Caspian was a perfect fiend, and even when that broken bone of goodness Edmund had might prompt him to stay in the cabin and let Eustace irritate him, the King would drag him away to the peeping sounds of that hellish and merciless mouse.
It didn’t matter that Lucy brought him water and tried to talk to him - there wasn’t any victory in that. It was to be expected of her, and the natural order of things.
Then again, if Edmund had sacrificed a little of his water for his cousin, that wouldn’t have been satisfactory enough either. Especially not when there was Caspian around to be so blasted condescending, and Eustace just knew he was probably keeping most of the water for himself, just to be spiteful.
Eustace could never stand not having the lion’s share.
three
It seemed strange that as a dragon Eustace would want rather to heal that broken bone in Edmund, or at least lose the active desire to pull on it anymore. He thought of Edmund when he tore apart goats and gulped them down tendons guts and all, skeletons falling in sucked-clean pieces from his jaws. He had never wanted to scare him or the others, just gain their acknowledgement.
It seemed he had been going about things the wrong way.
When Aslan clothed him again in pasty human flesh, he felt something in him snap. And from time to time afterwards, Edmund would unwittingly pull on it, irritating Eustace and jolting his path to being a changed boy. Eustace learned to apologise for those moments, teeth-clenchingly sincere and knowing he couldn’t afford to avoid admitting even the least wrongdoing any longer.
Edmund said that Eustace was only an ass, as though that was supposed to make him feel better. It took away his right to feel as guilty as he could. He wasn’t as bad as Edmund. He wasn’t as good as Edmund.
four
Eustace had never read the right kinds of books. Like dragons, feelings were far out of the realm of his own experience. Thinking dragonish thoughts he awoke one day as a dragon, and still no word for the change. Other metamorphosis was more alien still. Home from Narnia, Edmund’s goodbye handshake still making his fingers ache, he visited the library and discovered fauns and satyrs and dryads. There was nothing that explained that broken thing inside of him, or how Edmund could so effortlessly make it worse.
“You’ll go back to Narnia one day,” said Lucy months later, and not without a little envy. Eustace nearly said he wasn’t sure he wanted to go without Edmund. But he bit his tongue and put the thought away. He was beginning to be a changed boy, and trying not to think petty little thoughts anymore. He didn’t need Edmund around to prove himself to him. The summer holidays ended, and they all went back to their different schools.
“That Scrubb,” said his teachers, “is remarkably different this term. A changed boy, I would say.”
Title: Changed Boy
Author: finmefiant
Fandom: Narnia
Summary: He began to be a changed boy.
Pairings: Edmund/Eustace.
Rating: 12A
Warnings: First cousin incest.
one
Before Eustace began to be a changed boy, he was always very jealous of Edmund. Susan and Lucy were girls, and so he had no interest in them, while Peter was more than tall and straightforward enough to squash him when he was being a particularly annoying blot - and so Edmund, naturally, became the main focus. Edmund wasn’t a little suck-up like Lu, trying to be nice and making a secret of her dislike. There was something painfully fair about Edmund, like a bone broken and pulled straight, and while it reminded Eustace of perfect Peter, he could also see that tugging at such a thing was the way to cause maximum irritation - he never thought the word pain.
So he needled and needled, and it was all about making Edmund snap, though neither of them ever quite realised it. Eustace showed Lucy his rows of insects pinned to card and reduced her to shaking lower lip and spilling tears, finally behaving like the stupid little girl she really was. Edmund thumped him and sent him howling to Alberta, pouting lower lip split and bloodied. It was barbaric. But it didn’t matter, because the next day Edmund found him and apologised stiffly but sincerely, and Eustace could see that he wanted to choke him. The best part was the smugly secure knowledge that Edmund couldn’t, or wouldn’t. Eustace saw victory in Edmund’s struggle for nobility.
And coveted it.
two
Before Eustace began to be a changed boy, he hated Caspian. What kind of a real King would sail around in a little tub like the Dawn Treader? What kind of King walked barefoot on sunny days and was probably only seventeen, with hair as gold as angelic little perfect cousin Lu’s, and skin that never freckled or even burned under the blazing sun? And when Eustace was perfectly certain that he was dying horribly and the stupid ship would capsize any moment, he knew that Caspian and Edmund would be up on deck and chatting about their rotten Narnia which didn’t even have a British Consul. Caspian was a perfect fiend, and even when that broken bone of goodness Edmund had might prompt him to stay in the cabin and let Eustace irritate him, the King would drag him away to the peeping sounds of that hellish and merciless mouse.
It didn’t matter that Lucy brought him water and tried to talk to him - there wasn’t any victory in that. It was to be expected of her, and the natural order of things.
Then again, if Edmund had sacrificed a little of his water for his cousin, that wouldn’t have been satisfactory enough either. Especially not when there was Caspian around to be so blasted condescending, and Eustace just knew he was probably keeping most of the water for himself, just to be spiteful.
Eustace could never stand not having the lion’s share.
three
It seemed strange that as a dragon Eustace would want rather to heal that broken bone in Edmund, or at least lose the active desire to pull on it anymore. He thought of Edmund when he tore apart goats and gulped them down tendons guts and all, skeletons falling in sucked-clean pieces from his jaws. He had never wanted to scare him or the others, just gain their acknowledgement.
It seemed he had been going about things the wrong way.
When Aslan clothed him again in pasty human flesh, he felt something in him snap. And from time to time afterwards, Edmund would unwittingly pull on it, irritating Eustace and jolting his path to being a changed boy. Eustace learned to apologise for those moments, teeth-clenchingly sincere and knowing he couldn’t afford to avoid admitting even the least wrongdoing any longer.
Edmund said that Eustace was only an ass, as though that was supposed to make him feel better. It took away his right to feel as guilty as he could. He wasn’t as bad as Edmund. He wasn’t as good as Edmund.
four
Eustace had never read the right kinds of books. Like dragons, feelings were far out of the realm of his own experience. Thinking dragonish thoughts he awoke one day as a dragon, and still no word for the change. Other metamorphosis was more alien still. Home from Narnia, Edmund’s goodbye handshake still making his fingers ache, he visited the library and discovered fauns and satyrs and dryads. There was nothing that explained that broken thing inside of him, or how Edmund could so effortlessly make it worse.
“You’ll go back to Narnia one day,” said Lucy months later, and not without a little envy. Eustace nearly said he wasn’t sure he wanted to go without Edmund. But he bit his tongue and put the thought away. He was beginning to be a changed boy, and trying not to think petty little thoughts anymore. He didn’t need Edmund around to prove himself to him. The summer holidays ended, and they all went back to their different schools.
“That Scrubb,” said his teachers, “is remarkably different this term. A changed boy, I would say.”