(no subject)
Your name: Lina
Your personal LJ: echochaser9
Who do you currently play at Tabula Rasa?: Isolde (Murray), Fergus (Fraser), Neil Bucyk, and The Lady (Luck)
Have you dropped any pup since your last application? Romanadvoratrelundar
If so, why did you feel the need to drop them?
I had been struggling to have a hold on Romana for months, not entirely sure if an island, where she a pup who had to keep moving, had to keep doing something, had to have a place and a purpose, would be without any of those things. I managed to make her work for almost 8 months, but then her voice just went away and no matter how much I love her, she won't come back. It's not a good place for her. Really, but I tried and I'm proud of what success I had and she's come a long way, but in the end I have to let her go. It was a point where even love couldn't bring her back, and she came a long way, she learned how to cope, and do a lot, but yeah. It just couldn't be done, it was a burden when it shouldn't have been, so after a lot of thought, I let her go home.
Your character's name: Margaret "Meg" Murry
Your character's canon: The Time Quartet [specifically just after A Wind in the Door]
What type of canon is it (Book series, film, etc.): book
Your character's LJ: unextrordinary
Is your character living or dead at their time of entry?: Living
Does your character have any pre-existing disabilities of a medical, physical, or psychiatric nature?:
Meg is terribly, terribly near-sighted. And a seventeen year old girl. But that's about it.
Your character's personality:
Meg is a perfectly normal teenage girl, who at the same time is anything but normal. Which is to say that she frets slightly more often that usual over whether or not she fits the status quo. It doesn't help that she has a fairly healthy inferiority complex going for her, sprouted from the fact that she was raised by her extrordinarily brilliant parents, both of which hold multiple doctorial degrees, and both of which are mostly good looking (her mother, for instance, is definitely beautiful). She's prone to berating herself for being too ugly, too stupid and too odd to be of much use to anyone, but that doesn't normally get in her way. If anything it forces her to react. That's her, a reactor, not a thinker, a feeler. It's not that she doesn't think (though to be fair, she does quite a bit of notthinking and overtthinking and thinking about things that shouldn't be thought about), it's more that when first comes first, she jumps, goes for the gut reaction and then kind of instantly regrets it (it's not really regret though, it's more, panic and doubt).
Her mind can be bit of a chaotic place, and she worries what others think of her (she's seventeen, even when she says she doesn't care, she cares). She knows what real fear is and what it is to be afraid of losing those you love, and also what true wonder and beauty exists, but in hearbeat all of those memories can play second fiddle to what her brain thinks is important (why does her english teacher hate her? does mr jenkins have to be so nasty? why does the postmistress gossip about them? why is she such a weirdo?). Logic doesn't count, doesn't exist, doesn't matter. What teenager has logic? Especially what teenage girl?
She's a misfit and it shows, in the fact that she can get worked up quite easily, and quickly rages to fight. Defensive and protective, she doesn't like it when people talk or think poorly of her or her family, and if she has to make them stop using force, then she will. She's stubborn and headstrong, and at times nurturing and a bit motherly. She's wary of things that don't fully fit in, but she's not entirely unwilling to shut them out. If she loves someone, she loves them wholly and deeply, which is a very important thing to note as it gives her a certain strength that even her doubt cannot penetrate. Which brings up the fact that she is a skeptic, a doubter, less so now than she was, but she doubts her own intelligence and thus if she can't see the answers right away she pesters anyone and anything until she gets some. She's impatient, she asks questions all the time, resents authority figures and hates to be put on the spot and made to do things someone else's way (it makes her moody and snippish). She lacks confidence (definitely to be certain the right sort of confidence, as she is prone to fighting first, thinking later). She doesn't trust herself, even after all that has happened to her, which is almost sad, but she has such potential, she has to grow up. She's young yet.
Why do you want to play this character?:
Meg reminds me a lot of how I felt when I was her age, and she's intensely near and dear to me. It doesn't help that I keep rereading these books, from before I was the age of the protagonist to now, when I am older, and I still find a connection, I can understand what it's like to be that age and feel that out of sorts. There's nothing wrong with her, yet she's got so much potential, which everyone is always trying to tell her, her biggest roadblock is herself. It'd be nice to play someone who is just an average girl whose had some notso average life experiences for once. I think she can deal with the island, though seeing all the admittedly pretty people might make her feel pretty bad, it'll help her realise that she is pretty and she's not as grotesque and stupid as she thinks. It's been shown that she's pretty capable and even though she might be tempted to fall back or fight, this is a chance for her to really grow. What can she do on the island? Well, honestly, I'm not sure at the moment, but I'm certain she'd work something out. I have much faith that somehow she'll find her spot.
Tell us about your character's background:
Meg is the oldest of four children born to her parents, who are both scientists and both attractive and successful, which has led Meg to many a complex in her young life. Her mother is a brilliant woman, a good mother who manages to balance both her career and her children (even if meant cooking a few meals over a bunsen burner in her lab), and be stunning beautiful to boot. Her father, is the man whom Meg idolises, loves more than anything (she finds him to be wonderfully handsome, even when others might not), and he taught her the tricks that get into trouble in the ways of maths, encouraging her fast thinking and avid mind. Due to her father's government related scientific work, much of Meg's early childhood was spent moving about, from place to place across the country (and sometimes to different bits of the world) chasing experiments and ideas, adding even further elements of "abnormalness" to her, before her mother took her and her younger siblings and settled them in their summer home.
This didn't work out quite as well as her parents had hoped. While Meg's younger twin brothers Sandy and Denys settled quite well into the normal routine of ordinary suburban and rural life, being considered normal, even popular, Meg and her baby brother (her darling, the only one who always understands her), Charles Wallace, were immediately put out as the "freaks". Meg jumped to the defensive, leading to many a disciplinary problem in addition to the problems she had due to her own troubles conforming to the "right" ways to do things (and the fact that some things just didn't stick). All alone, and discontent on the fringe of society, Meg was fourteen when she met Calvin O'Keefe, who happened to be known for being both popular and brilliant, which Meg naturally met with mild hostility despite his friendliness, in the woods on one odd day when walking with Charles Wallace. He was 'adopted' by the Murrys (her mother loves to take in strays, which is how Meg acquired her beloved dog, Fortinbras). Also about this time, her father had been missing for nearly a year (not missing, per se, just gone without word), which spread rumours that he'd left them, which was part of the motivation that Meg didn't fight going along with Mrs Who, Mrs Whatsit, and Mrs Which when she had to (to be fair she didn't enjoy not having all that much of a choice, but there was no way that Charles Wallace was going along, and not finding her father was not an option). It was doing this that she encountered the strange and wonderous thing was the universe and the battle going on within it, what it was to tesser, and how despite a near scare with the darkness that was consuming certain planets, she met Aunt Beast (whom she loves, she really does). She did manage to save her father from IT and Charles Wallace and discovered that no matter how awful she is, she is loved, and she loves, which is strong and even though she still doubts this from time to time, the fact that she won one battle? Means a lot to her.
However, that wasn't just the first battle for Meg Murry. A year or so later, Charles Wallace became sick to the point of nearly dying, and . She learned to "kythe" which is to share thoughts with certain people, some of which are easier than others, and in the end, she was able to Name a man she swore she hated (which helped, because a Cherubium gave up his life to save her brother). Meg comes from a year and a bit after that, when she's seventeen and luckily, nothing has happened to her to force anything from her, as she just tries to pass high school and get to university. Unfortunately, being normal, has never been Meg's strong suit, so despite the fact that she's trying, she's not really suceeding, though she is getting better.
Your character's initial personal inventory:
wearing:
- x one pair of well-worn blue jeans (dark wash)
x one blue cable knit sweater
x one peter pan collared blouse, in a blue paisley print
x one pair of sneakers, canvas and thin rubber soled.
x one set of plain white cotton panties
x one cotton undershirt
x one brown jacket, with wood toggles
x one brown leather belt
x one pair of wool socks, argyle
- x one pair of glasses (very strong perscription)
x one thoroughly drenched bookbag (containing):
- x two ballpoint pens
x one pencil (bearing bitemarks)
x two composition notebooks (filled with various amounts of notes, most of which is smugged, all which is illegible)
x one american history textbook
x one advanced calculus textbook
x one felt eyeglass case
x one contacts case (containing one set of "hard" contacts)
x various sheets of looseleaf paper, most of which are written on, including one corrected (now ruined) English Lit. paper.
Your character's entrance post:
I groan slightly as grimace at the sky for what must be the infinite time that afternoon, making a face and shoving my hands deeper into my coat pockets. Just my luck, it’s raining. Not that I was really that surprised, as it had been grey and miserable looking that morning, but this, this was just the pits. I could practically feel my hair curling and turning into some sort of beastly mess as I stood there in the doorway of my high school.
It was either stay there, or go out into the rain and there was no way I was staying there. Not a chance. I’ve done and seen a lot awful things in my life, but I’m not spending any more time there than I have to.
Tensing my shoulders, I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, and I kind of wish that I hadn’t backed out of wearing my contacts halfway through second period. They just had bugged my eyes more than I wanted to deal with. I guess it was punishment for an ugly girl trying to pretend that she wasn’t.
“That’s it, taking one for the team, Murry,” I coach myself, before ducking my head down and darting down the steps, making another reflexive face at the squishing noise my shoes make.
I make it about a block and a half, before I have to stop, my glasses are too fogged up, too splattered with rain that even with them I can’t see a thing and there is no way I’m going anywhere until they’re cleaned off.
Carefully, I pull them off, and the entire world becomes a set of grey blurs, and I make a lame attempt to clean them off with the hem of my sweater, but I don’t get far before a car is screeching to close to the curb, and instinctively, I jump back, my foot catching on something which is probably nothing as I’m clumsy even when I’m not blind, and I land wet on the wet ground, just as a wave of water slides over me.
And to make things worse, I’ve dropped my glasses.
“Oh god, please don’t let someone step on them,” I groan, fumbling about and squinting to try to make out my glasses. I dig my fingers into the sand through the shallow water…wait, sand? There’s no sand in the streets of New Hampshire, at least not the last time I checked, which was, all of five minutes ago.
This is not good. Not good at all. I can’t see, and I can’t find my glasses and somehow, I’m somewhere I shouldn’t be, and my heart is beating faster, and I don’t know if I’m having a panic attack or just really mad as another wave of water hits me.
“Oh god, what just happened? Where am I?” I ask, despite the fact that it might be entirely worthless as there might not be anyone there to hear me or worse, there could be, and it could someone I definitely don’t want to hear me.
The best thing that I’m going to do now, is not cry. I’ve got to keep it together, at least for a little bit longer. I think.