Dean and Walls.
Yo, forgive my shittiness, it's been a year since I last wrote an essay and I was never that good in the first place. So, anyway, in celebration of Winchester Day, I spent the evening eating pizza in front of the computer and ruminating on Dean's love of walls.
On the Subject of Dean and His Relation to Walls
Dean and walls. It's an interesting topic; Dean and walls go back a long way and have an occasionally troubled relationship. As with most things in Dean's life, it all started that one day when he was four years old and his mother was burnt alive on the ceiling of his brother's room.
Walls were essential in aiding his escape from the house and protecting his brother from the fire (as was his father but that's a whole other meta). Walls first shielded Dean from the flames that killed his mother and allowed John to hand him baby Sammy so he could leg it out of the house. This feeling of protection given by walls was only strengthened when, standing on the front lawn, Dean looked up to the nursery to see the fire explode out of the window. He learnt an important lesson that night: walls can stand up to anything, even when the windows are exploding, the walls stay strong.
This was an important realisation for Dean. This fire turned his world upside down; he was left with only a few constants in his life, and one of those constants was the humble wall. In fact of all the things important to him, walls were the least stressful and therefore able to give him the most strength.
Sam, for example, is obviously very important to Dean, but he's a younger brother and has to be watched out for and protected and, as seen in 'Hunted', Dean doesn't feel he can share everything with Sam, because he needs to be the 'stronger older brother'. For the majority of his life, Dean has had to be strong for Sam, and not so much the other way around. John is another source of strength for Dean, but he holds Dean to high standards and expects things of him that perhaps he shouldn't. John, as many people before me have said, is also in the habit of saying harsh words and doesn't appear to express his care and love for his sons at all in any overt way. This wouldn't make him a particularly great source of comfort for Dean when going through tough times. Even the Impala, though it holds many wall-like qualities, eventually became Dean's responsibility and a subject that lead to disapproval from John ('Dead Man's Blood' for example).
Walls, on the other hand, are free of all these trappings. You don't need to look after a wall, or worry about a wall running out of food. You can't worry about a wall going out hunting and getting itself killed. You can't worry about hitting a wall too hard or hurting its feelings. Walls can't pass judgement on you. Walls don't get into arguments with other family members and storm off, and if something does go wrong with a wall, it's very unlikely to be your fault. Considering that all the buildings Dean has ever lived in (disregarding those first four years of life) were most likely rented, any walls that fell into disrepair were not his responsibility. They may even have been a talking point for him to bond with his family.
Possibly one of the largest factors that draws Dean to walls, is their inability to leave him. Dean has some quite severe abandonment issues, with first Mary dying and then Sam leaving him and eventually John leaving him, being alone is Dean's greatest fear. However, it's not possible for a wall to leave him. Not that I'm saying he can't survive without walls; it's possible for him to leave the wall behind, but the real beauty of the wall is that it will always be there for him to return to. He doesn't even have to return to the same wall seeing as it's not to much the actual wall he draws strength from, but more the concept of the wall and the deep emotional symbolism that holds for him.
To Dean, a wall represents strength, shelter and protection, three things he finds great comfort in. It has been proven to him time and time again that walls are incredibly important for survival within the harsh world he lives in. Not only in the normal sense of “the walls keep the roof up and the wind out, but in the sense that they keep evil out. Running from a werewolf, it's the doors and windows you need to worry about, and when salting a room to keep out spirits, the salt lines go across the doors and windows; walls are strong enough to stand by themselves and give Dean one less thing to worry about.
This is why, when Sam's in the bathroom and the cameras are all looking the other way, Dean will spend a good few minutes getting acquainted with the walls. It's become something of a ritual for him. Of course, it's a ritual Dean tries to hide, as admitting to it would be like admitting to a weakness, which s something Dean never does.
Using the Walls Against Dean
Now, in Dean's life, he comes up against many enemies of many different species. From the human, to the inhuman, to the I-have-no-idea-what-the-fuck-that-is. Each of these foes try, in their own way to use Dean's love of walls against him (because Dean may try to hide it, but there's no denying that it's there).
Humans, for the most part, are pathetically bad at it. This is because they are generally working within the law, meaning they aren't allowed to actually hurt Dean. Humans make the mistake of pushing Dean up against walls, perhaps thinking that it'll remind him that he is imprisoned and has no escape, whereas actually, the walls are Dean's favourite aspect of the entire room, and letting him get up close and personal with them has the exact opposite of the desired effect. Even when intimacy with a wall is being forced upon Dean, he's able to take comfort in it.
This is not the face of a man who hates being pushed up against walls.
In contrast, supernatural beings (and certain humans) aren't bound by laws and don't have the limits of having to obey the laws of physics. They are thereby able to cause not only physical pain, but emotional pain. By throwing Dean into a wall hard enough to actually hurt him, it's like he's being betrayed by the wall. The wall that he has taken so much comfort from in the past has become the very thing used to destroy him. While, logically, Dean knows that it's not the walls fault, on an irrational emotional level, it hurts him.
The Yellow-Eyed Demon is particularly good at using things Dean loves against him. He destroyed the Impala, made Dean unable to protect Sam, and used both John's body and a wall to torture him.*
In conclusion, Dean's relationship with walls is very important to him. It is the safest love in his life and the most versatile. If Dean is hurt by any one particular wall, then there are a thousand other walls for him to lean on and he need never go back to that wall. So, while their relationship is occasionally abusive and can be twisted and used against Dean (as all his relationships can) Dean will always love walls.
*That didn't sound nearly as dirty in my head.
I meant to have more pictures but technology is hating on me today. :(
On the Subject of Dean and His Relation to Walls
Dean and walls. It's an interesting topic; Dean and walls go back a long way and have an occasionally troubled relationship. As with most things in Dean's life, it all started that one day when he was four years old and his mother was burnt alive on the ceiling of his brother's room.
Walls were essential in aiding his escape from the house and protecting his brother from the fire (as was his father but that's a whole other meta). Walls first shielded Dean from the flames that killed his mother and allowed John to hand him baby Sammy so he could leg it out of the house. This feeling of protection given by walls was only strengthened when, standing on the front lawn, Dean looked up to the nursery to see the fire explode out of the window. He learnt an important lesson that night: walls can stand up to anything, even when the windows are exploding, the walls stay strong.
This was an important realisation for Dean. This fire turned his world upside down; he was left with only a few constants in his life, and one of those constants was the humble wall. In fact of all the things important to him, walls were the least stressful and therefore able to give him the most strength.
Sam, for example, is obviously very important to Dean, but he's a younger brother and has to be watched out for and protected and, as seen in 'Hunted', Dean doesn't feel he can share everything with Sam, because he needs to be the 'stronger older brother'. For the majority of his life, Dean has had to be strong for Sam, and not so much the other way around. John is another source of strength for Dean, but he holds Dean to high standards and expects things of him that perhaps he shouldn't. John, as many people before me have said, is also in the habit of saying harsh words and doesn't appear to express his care and love for his sons at all in any overt way. This wouldn't make him a particularly great source of comfort for Dean when going through tough times. Even the Impala, though it holds many wall-like qualities, eventually became Dean's responsibility and a subject that lead to disapproval from John ('Dead Man's Blood' for example).
Walls, on the other hand, are free of all these trappings. You don't need to look after a wall, or worry about a wall running out of food. You can't worry about a wall going out hunting and getting itself killed. You can't worry about hitting a wall too hard or hurting its feelings. Walls can't pass judgement on you. Walls don't get into arguments with other family members and storm off, and if something does go wrong with a wall, it's very unlikely to be your fault. Considering that all the buildings Dean has ever lived in (disregarding those first four years of life) were most likely rented, any walls that fell into disrepair were not his responsibility. They may even have been a talking point for him to bond with his family.
Possibly one of the largest factors that draws Dean to walls, is their inability to leave him. Dean has some quite severe abandonment issues, with first Mary dying and then Sam leaving him and eventually John leaving him, being alone is Dean's greatest fear. However, it's not possible for a wall to leave him. Not that I'm saying he can't survive without walls; it's possible for him to leave the wall behind, but the real beauty of the wall is that it will always be there for him to return to. He doesn't even have to return to the same wall seeing as it's not to much the actual wall he draws strength from, but more the concept of the wall and the deep emotional symbolism that holds for him.
To Dean, a wall represents strength, shelter and protection, three things he finds great comfort in. It has been proven to him time and time again that walls are incredibly important for survival within the harsh world he lives in. Not only in the normal sense of “the walls keep the roof up and the wind out, but in the sense that they keep evil out. Running from a werewolf, it's the doors and windows you need to worry about, and when salting a room to keep out spirits, the salt lines go across the doors and windows; walls are strong enough to stand by themselves and give Dean one less thing to worry about.
This is why, when Sam's in the bathroom and the cameras are all looking the other way, Dean will spend a good few minutes getting acquainted with the walls. It's become something of a ritual for him. Of course, it's a ritual Dean tries to hide, as admitting to it would be like admitting to a weakness, which s something Dean never does.
Using the Walls Against Dean
Now, in Dean's life, he comes up against many enemies of many different species. From the human, to the inhuman, to the I-have-no-idea-what-the-fuck-that-is. Each of these foes try, in their own way to use Dean's love of walls against him (because Dean may try to hide it, but there's no denying that it's there).
Humans, for the most part, are pathetically bad at it. This is because they are generally working within the law, meaning they aren't allowed to actually hurt Dean. Humans make the mistake of pushing Dean up against walls, perhaps thinking that it'll remind him that he is imprisoned and has no escape, whereas actually, the walls are Dean's favourite aspect of the entire room, and letting him get up close and personal with them has the exact opposite of the desired effect. Even when intimacy with a wall is being forced upon Dean, he's able to take comfort in it.
This is not the face of a man who hates being pushed up against walls.
In contrast, supernatural beings (and certain humans) aren't bound by laws and don't have the limits of having to obey the laws of physics. They are thereby able to cause not only physical pain, but emotional pain. By throwing Dean into a wall hard enough to actually hurt him, it's like he's being betrayed by the wall. The wall that he has taken so much comfort from in the past has become the very thing used to destroy him. While, logically, Dean knows that it's not the walls fault, on an irrational emotional level, it hurts him.
The Yellow-Eyed Demon is particularly good at using things Dean loves against him. He destroyed the Impala, made Dean unable to protect Sam, and used both John's body and a wall to torture him.*
In conclusion, Dean's relationship with walls is very important to him. It is the safest love in his life and the most versatile. If Dean is hurt by any one particular wall, then there are a thousand other walls for him to lean on and he need never go back to that wall. So, while their relationship is occasionally abusive and can be twisted and used against Dean (as all his relationships can) Dean will always love walls.
*That didn't sound nearly as dirty in my head.
I meant to have more pictures but technology is hating on me today. :(