I was on the phone with her last week, and she casually mentioned that she bought a new mattress for the bassinet. What bassinet? I never asked for a bassinet. Apparently there's a bassinet that has been in our family since my grandmother was born. I've never seen it, and have no idea where it was stored all of these years. I told her that Allan ( Read more... )

my gerbil couldn't open his eyes yesterday morning. he was in a corner in his cage, and he's usually sleeping with zach. i picked him up, and he moved around in my hands, but just seemed really sleepy. he still couldn't open his eyes. i pulled them open to make sure they weren't stuck, and they weren't. so he was dying. i gave him a sunflower ( Read more... )

what do you want to do today?

make 6 babies.

we can start...

allan wants 6 babies! as long as it's documented.

next time i'm invited to a wedding, someone remind me that it's not really THEIR wedding. maybe i can get a better seat, or some great vegetarian food, or have them schedule the rehearsal around my needs. threats, bitching, throwing tantrums, screaming, and crying are all fair game when getting my demands met. i didn't know that a wedding ( Read more... )

sola has a habit of thinking he's a huge tiger. he likes to howl at the top of the steps when nobody's playing with him after he poops. he also will attack as soon as he's done being petted without warning. he's not very pleasant. lately, he's gotten better. he's adjusted to echo...finally...almost a year later. he doesn't hate bo as much. ( Read more... )

allan's file share program didn't have most of the songs we wanted on our wedding CD, so i downloaded a free trial of napster. it's pretty fancy now. i downloaded a few partridge family albums while i was searching for our song list. i'm going to have a million hours of music for the plane trip to hawaii ( Read more... )

on saturday, my mother called to ask me who gets to bring a guest and proceeded to go down the list asking me to verify each of the people. i told her, after the first two names, that anyone over 12 could bring a date. then she picked out the gays. "what about mike?" "what are you talking about? he's definitely over 12." "yeah, but i don't ( Read more... )

today, i was scheduled to go in at 9:00 to sign out and leave for the summer. i intentionally don't bring anything to work because i don't like moving things at the end of the year. i had an office 2 years ago that i filled with personal teaching stuff, but it took forever to pack and move. since then, i have only kept a file cabinet full of ( Read more... )

this is an e-mail that our entire school got from the nazi principal:

As you have probably noticed we have been leaving little treats in your mailboxes each day this week in honor of Staff Appreciation Week. Tomorrow we are going to do something different…… we have decided to buy pizza for all of you (with veggie trays and chips) for tomorrow. ( Read more... )

i found out today that a lot of rumors have been going around my family about me that are completely made up. not only are they made up, but they're the opposite of what's really going on ( Read more... )